Lately, I’ve got issues with married couples’  “date nights.”

Don’t get  me wrong, it’s great to get alone time with your spouse.  But I’m meeting more and more couples who totally ignore their marriage except on their once a week, once a month,  or once a quarter date night.

If you and your spouse aren’t paying close attention to finding little ways to care for each other every day, or finding time to talk and pray together every day, or exploring simple ways to work and be playful together every day, then trust me, date night isn’t going to do a thing for you, even on the rare occasion when you manage to get one.

Mother Theresa once said that the secret to holiness is doing small things with great love.  Well, that’s the secret to a great marriage too.  It’s the little stuff that leads to big love.

Instead of seeing the tasks of the life you created together as things to divide, conquer and “just get through already,” how about doing the dished together?  Or folding some laundry together?  Or doing the grocery shopping together (and maybe stopping for coffee on the way back)?

When my wife and I were first dating in college, our dorms did not allow the opposite sex in–but the laundry rooms were co-ed!  Now, I’m no great fan of doing laundry, but it becomes a pretty popular activity when its really viewed as another opportunity to be near the one you love!

Stop worrying about the activity you and your spouse participate in.  Instead see every activity as an opportiunity to take care of the life you’ve created together, to practice partnership, and to celebrate what great friends you are to each other.

Get date nights where you can, but make sure you’re making the most of the million or so small moments of your everyday life together.  If you do, I promise, you’ll be amazed what God will make of your relationship.

Want more tips on creating a loving home?  Check out For Better…FOREVER and Holy Sex!  as well as other books and even counseling services by Dr. Gregory Popcak by visiting

Couple jogging photo available from Shutterstock.



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    Last reviewed: 17 Apr 2012

APA Reference
Popcak, D. (2012). Living for “Date Night”? Your Marriage Might Be Missing Out. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 31, 2015, from



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