People-of-Faith often think it’s more charitable to simply forgive and forget, even if the other person hasn’t asked for it.  There are times when this is true, but if you find you’re not able to let go of an offense, stuffing your feelings and pretending everything is “OK”  isn’t the “faithful” thing to do.  Even if it might cause some conflict, it is always better to bring your concerns to the other person directly, and not seethe in silence.

St Gregory the Great has this advice for those who were hurt and are unable to just move on:

“Often those who are offended suffer from remaining silent because it leads to more damaging words running through their heads.  Thoughts seethe all the more in the mind when corralled…by an indiscreet silence.  The words we think multiply even more than the words that we might have spoken, since people who are brooding count themselves safe from being heard by others who might criticize what they’re thinking. The tongue, therefore, is like a dog that should be discreetly curbed, not tied up fast.”

Wise counsel from St G.  If you can’t just “let it go,” it’s no less virtuous to charitably discuss your frustration with the person who “done you wrong.”

For more information on how to pursue real peace in your life check out, God Help Me,  These People are Driving Me Nuts!  Making Peace with Difficult People. 

Forgiveness photo available from Shutterstock.

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From Psych Central's website:
Letting Go: 2 Steps to Leaving the Hurt Behind | Faith on the Couch (February 23, 2012)

    Last reviewed: 22 Feb 2012