Archives for marital therapy
Few people really listen. Sure they may hear the words, comprehend the message, but do they really listen to the meaning behind the words. Every spoken word comes with an emotional context in which it was derived. We may say, “I’m bored,” but really our body language says, ‘I don’t like this.’ Given this example, most people will surely understand that the speaker has nothing to do, but do they also understand that he/she is discontented?
While much has been written about human archetypes, and mythology in general, little has been authored about the role that horses play not only in myths, but also in our own understanding of archetypes, and of ourselves. However, there are two important publications that do pertain to this subject.
Much has been written about the connection between women and horses, and for some time, it has certainly mystified us. While people can be attracted to a great many things in life, the relationship women and horses share is not only better represented than many other things women may do (perhaps the sad exception is dieting), it also holds a symbolism in the possibility of a curative force amongst us. Historically, we have always searched for something to relive suffering, eradicate pain, provide spiritual ecstasy in one form or another.
As a practicing Marriage and Family Therapist I see a multitude of couples in crisis. As John Gottman, renowned marriage researcher notes, “The time between when a couple first notices trouble in their marriage and the time they seek professional help is six years.” Clearly what this tells us is that when couples finally make to the office, things have been bad for a long time. Insults have already been slung, defenses have solidified, criticisms have been stockpiled, walls have been built, and contempt may have even settled in. For those of you familiar with John Gottman’s work, you will recognize what Gottman dubs “The Four Horseman of the Apocolypse,” otherwise known as the four telling factors that characterize a marriage that is headed toward failure.