Archives for General - Page 2

Coping Skills

6 Triggers for Emotional Eating

Eating when you aren't physically hungry can be so frustrating as well as damaging to your health. Afterward, you're miserably full and bloated and upset that you overate or binged yet again despite your determination to not do so.

Overcoming emotional eating is very difficult and can be a constant challenge. Food is everywhere and tempts with immediate pleasure and relief. You can't practice abstinence from food.

Continue Reading

Coping Skills

Creating Hope

In 1965 Martin Seligman "discovered" learned helplessness. He found that when animals are subjected to difficult situations they cannot control, they  stop trying to escape. They become passive. Human beings are the same. If you have experienced devastating defeats, a persistent situation that you couldn't change, or experienced terror and been out of control of escape from that terror, then you may have lost hope for your ability to change your life or to change painful situations.

Continue Reading

General

Six Steps to Forgiveness


What is your reaction when someone causes you harm of some kind? Do you forgive and forget so easily that you keep letting the same person insult, hurt or otherwise damage you over and over?  Or are you the person who never forgives so that one mistake is remembered forever? Perhaps good relationships are lost over one mistake. Maybe you aren't spending the holidays with people you love because you haven't forgiven actions that happened many years ago. Either style can be a way of protecting yourself.

Continue Reading

Coping Skills

Your Mind is a Gifted Storyteller

Creating interesting stories is a time-honored skill and entertainment for many. A good storyteller can keep the attention of small children as well as antsy, busy businessmen. Unfortunately, your mind is also a great storyteller. Sometimes you may not realize what is truth and what is fiction created by your mind.

Your mind is always creating explanations and possibilities about the world you live in. It will interpret and make assumptions in creating its stories, about the past and the future as well as the present. It rattles on and on and is rarely even close to quiet. Your mind may have a favorite genre--suspense, drama or horror. It may also have favorite themes such as victims, persecutors or helplessness. The mind's stories are about how you see the world.

Continue Reading

Coping Skills

The Downside of Happiness

There's a lot of talk about happiness these days. In some ways, the message from the media in general is that happiness is the goal of life and that attaining happiness is the ultimate success. We look around at our friends and wonder what's wrong with us that we can't find happiness. We seek that golden emotion through whatever means we can. We use drugs, we drink, and we buy lots of possessions that we often can't afford.  Sometimes we fake being happy, "All is wonderful, couldn't be better."   In the current push for happiness, some truths about the downside of happiness may be overlooked. In other words, there's a down side.
Continue Reading

Emotion Skills

Four Characteristics of Soul-Fulfilling Relationships

There are many ways of connecting with people. An emotionally safe, equal, and emotionally intimate relationship is likely the scariest and most challenging relationship to build, yet is also the  most likely to decrease your sense of loneliness and help with your well-being. Let's call it a Soul-Fulfilling relationship. This type of connection may be a romantic but doesn't have to be.  In a Soul-Fullfilling  connection,  you share your deepest emotions with someone in an honest, accurate way and your experiences are accepted without judgment. You can count on honest, loving feedback and give and take. You support and love in equal ways over time. Soul-Fulfilling relationships take time and nurturing to build.

Continue Reading

Borderline Personality Disorder

Acting Opposite to Your Emotion

We often act consistent with how we feel. If you wake up in the morning and you don't feel like talking with people, maybe you don't answer the phone. If you don't feel like going to the grocery store, then you don't go. If you don't feel like networking then you cancel the luncheon. If you don't feel like being kind, you may talk gruffly to your friends and co-workers. Perhaps you even justify your actions, or attempt to, by saying, "I'm just in a bad mood."

Continue Reading

Borderline Personality Disorder

Value Your Life Contributions

We all have days that everything seems to go wrong.  We get a speeding ticket, the dishwasher stops working and your zippers splits when you're already late for a dinner engagement. Sometimes what goes wrong is bigger and more difficult. Maybe your best friend is moving away or someone you love is diagnosed with cancer. Those times are particularly tough and may lead you to wonder what life's all about.

Actually, what is your life all about? One of the most effective ways of coping with daily ups and down is to know your purpose, your contribution to the world. What is it that you contribute to the human race or to our world?  Knowing your part in the world can help you see the forest when the trees all seem negative. Every contribution to a better world counts. Every person can make a difference. Do you know what your purpose is?

Continue Reading

General

Six Ways You May be Avoiding Constructive Conflict and Losing Friends

Conflict with others, especially perceived and actual rejection, can be quite painful. Calling a friend after you've repeatedly made and cancelled plans may seem as difficult as piecing back shattered glass. Giving in to the urge to just avoid conflicts and let friendships go may cost you relationships that you don't really want to lose. Being connected with others involves some form of conflict, whether it's about you letting the other person down or the other person not coming through for you in some way.

One of the first steps to stopping the avoidance is awareness of ways you may justify or talk yourself into not facing upsets, anticipated criticisms, disagreements, or other conflict. Here's a few statements that you might be using to support your avoidance of what could be a relationship repair or relationship building interaction, cause that's what constructive convict actually is.

Continue Reading