I just wantd to say thank you for sharing your words with us. I suffer from major depressive disorder and PTSD. These diagnoses came 20 years after being told I was bi-polar. I too have thought about writing about my experiences as I agree with you.. it’s hard to go it alone and I want others to benefit from what I go through so may be they won’t have to go it alone so to speak. I am in counseling and on medications. I do research and I am active in not just my day to day care but in my helping to find the right meds, the right way for me to do things. My husband who is the step father to my two children encourages me and wishes to see me write of my experiences and perhaps write a book. While that would be wonderful I have experienced yet agan some set backs due to triggers being set off that was unexpected, and following that the loss of 2 of my husband’s relatives,6 more in some accident that were my best friends relatives, my best friends grandfather, and then I took a fall on my father’s birth date and have suffered since. It seems like just wen I get to a place in my life were maybe thngs wil go well for change.. som thing screws it up. I am currently looking at that to see what I can do to change it. I am sorry for any spelling that is not right. I am using word to write this as my spelling is horrible right now due to fall as are many other things. At any rate this is the start of my story well the starting point for me anyways.. to go back wards would mean for me to rembr things that i hav no memory of. and to move forward well that wud be 1 minuite, 1 hour, 1 day at a time. I will be interested in hearing othrs replies as there are often times when i do not want the sympathy but more of knowing som 1 else is going through it too. So thank you for starting this!
~Becky~ Aka
Ssapphire

I have been “fighting” depression, which 10yrs ago was diagnosed bp1, for many yrs. I am a psychotherapist, and, over the years, as I became syptomatic; I was not able to take a leave from community positions; I was quietly “fired” from positions where I had been doing splendid work. (modestly she said)
I now have my own practice, do internet counseling, and am writing a research paper on Circadian Rhythms and MI . (I am quite euthymic on present medications)
Aside from very close friends and family, there is no way I will share my MI. I have been burned and believe the stigma is just too great.
Maybe some day, this will change, but for the now, this way of dealing works for me.
There is a bit of guilt in not being an advocate, but so be it.

Welcome Christine, Your posts are meaningful and honestly written. Chuck and I are happy to share any of our information with you about treatment techniques and research that has to do with depression. Good luck on your blog.

Thank you all for the wonderful welcome! Depression is not an “I” illness. It is a “WE” illness and WE will get better.

Like Andy, I am in a profession that claims to advocate and empower people, but they “eat their own”. I am presently disabled due to a progressive neurological disorder which helps me to “save face” because truth be told, I should be on disability for severe clinical depression, PTSD, Panic Disorder and agoraphobia. How can I practice when the thought of leaving the house sends my heart racing and causes me nausea, shakes and panic…and then arrive at a client’s house to focus on their crises and assist them in resolution. My greatest challenge is beating myself up for cognitively “knowing” better but feeling so helpless and frankly hopeless to do anything about it. I recently changed meds (again) and I’m in the waiting period to see what works. This absolutely is hell!

Denise Allerbach…I can so relate to what you are saying and family is so not there for me. The part that is so unreal for me is that for years I was there for them and their grandchildren and through divorces and so many things and now that I have been diagnosed with PTSD after many years several Chronic Illness’s and other happenings in my life. They have decided to ignore me and put me out to pasture. Only God knows why.