For those of us with depression, opposites do not attract.
We are not drawn to happy, upbeat, positive people and they are not drawn to us. In fact, we repel those who dare crack a smile at us. Occasionally a happy person tries to help us but inevitably we push them away. I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t want to hang around someone with depression. I don’t even want to hang around myself when I’m depressed.
In fact, happy, upbeat people are really annoying when you have depression. “Can’t you see how much pain I am in? Don’t you realize that I have no interest in you? Would you please just get your happy ass out of here?”
But years of therapy, sobriety and watching Forrest Gump a few dozen times has taught me that just as “stupid is as stupid does” - “happy is as happy does.” In other words, happiness is not going to come knock me upside the head. I have to do the work. I have to seek it out and that means seeking out people who have the kind of happiness I want.
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Indeed. I find being around happy, upbeat, ‘babbling’ people when in a depressed state is annoying. THAT is loneliness – Being around people that don’t understand and try the “court-jester” approach. On the other hand, people with common interests and understanding of mental health conditions are aware of the best way to communicate. They know if you’re not up to a face-to-face visit or whether email/text is preferable.
Thank God for txt messages. The first day I was out on disability because of my depression I txt messaged my boss. I just couldn’t speak to her or anyone else. She was very understanding and we kept in touch like that for weeks.
I somewhat agree with this, but not all the way. I tend to get drawn into people that are cheerful and outgoing. I’m drawn to those kind of people because I feel like I need encouragement and to be uplifted.
But those who are the opposite of those who are depressed tend to not understand how a depressed person feels. I’ve had incidences of the opposite telling me to “just snap out of it”. They don’t seem to ever have a problem with depression; so they don’t understand.
I’m not drawn to those who appear to be depressed. Because I feel like they would get me down more. However, I feel that I should try to be drawn to them so that we can understand each other. I would not feel so alone in my depression.
And a great friendship could come out of it.
When I’m at work or out and about with strangers, it’s very difficult for me to ask them “if they are feeling depressed”. I feel tempted to ask them that because I can see that they feel that way.
Dogs rule. Plain and simple!