We had another murder here last week. Actually, it was three murders and an …

6 Comments to
Men and depression: Can we help you, please?

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  1. you are completely right about this

  2. While I completely agree that men with depression do need more attention I really dislike your writing style in these kinds of blog posts. It’s almost like you are excusing the bad behavior. If you want to take your own life because you are depressed that is one thing…but to kill someone else(especially your family members!) because of your state of mind is inexcusable. These crimes committed are atrocious and I don’t care how badly these men are feeling…they are disgusting and less than human for what they did.

  3. I am definitely not excusing this horrendous behavior. I guess I need to work on my tone. I had hoped this post would prompt us to look at our side of the street – what we, as a society, have done that has made it difficult for men with depression to ask for help. Maybe I am wrong and there is nothing we have done or could do.

  4. I would like to see the major networks and pro sport organizations create and televise ads with role models such as Terry Bradshaw explaining how he coped with his depression and where he found help. Maybe if these individuals realize they are not alone and that eventually they will make it out of their black hole they won’t commit such terrible crimes.
    I’m a male who has been in and out of depression along with GAD since the late 90s and thanks to my therapist and meds I am doing fine.
    I read a great quote by Charlie Chaplin this morning that goes “Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles”

  5. Gerard:
    That is a great idea. I interviewed Terry last year. He spoke at an event about his depression. I will never forget him telling me that he felt numb and wanted to cry – not tears of joy – after winning one of the Super Bowl’s (there were so many, I can’t remember which one). Astronaut Buzz Aldrin opened up last year about his alcoholism and depression. I really admire these guys. We need more.

  6. @ Chrissy

    You do understand that depression dramatically changes your cognitive function? The men involved were not exactly logical thinkers; your attitude is simply one of the factors that helps to drive the phenomenon Christine is writing about.

    Anyone’s death is a tragic outcome, and more so for the murdered. But the way in which you posit “bad behaviour” on the men cited simply compounds the issue. Their thinking is perhaps that they are somehow “saving” the murdered from the consequences of the depressed man’s failures, such as poverty, homelessness and crippling debt. Unfortunately logic and clarity don’t enter into their thinking.

    I find your comments about how disgusting and subhuman they are to be appalling.

  7. I am 29. I have been married for five years. I have 2 kids. I have penfriend and I love her. I dont want to chit my wife. But I am depressed. Just I cant understand Why it is happening. I want to meet her and have some lovely days. Please help me and tell what I do.

  8. Christine, I have read your post and the associated reponses. I have difficulty identifying where you apparently, concurrently insured and condemmned the perpetrator in this. Murdering your loved ones is barely comprehensible let alone acceptable. I guess I take the middle road; if I am so broken that killing my family becomes an option then I have missed all the opportunities to talk about my distorted view of my world. If I can kill my family I AM inhuman, I have lost my capacity for compassion and the broader view of my world.
    If I, as a potential perpetrator, have no place to turn, no trusted person to assist me with my error, then society must carry the blame in allowing my isolation and warpy thinking. Why is it so unreasonable that the two extremes of opinion may exist concurrently. Both are true; you may have subsidised anti-psychotics and anti- depressants but none of us dare speak to the broken person.
    I don’t know a lot about the USA but similar things occur here in Australia; perhaps the core issue is the absence of someone who can say ” What the hell is going on… What’s hurting you… Do you want to talk!

  9. I agree with Sean Kelly,

    It takes a lot of emotional and mental pressure to make the human mind snap. It is more than unfortunate that men seem to feel that they must take their families with them. It is something that most of us will never be able to understand and tragic does not begin to describe the circumstances of these situations. How many men do you know who have the true emotional strength to seek help? It is not a sign of weakness but of strength when anyone seeks help for their mental illness. It all ties in with the stigma of mental illness and it is far worse for men. We do view men in our society as having shoulders broad enough to bear anything, so it is really no wonder why more of them do not seek the help they need. Things have to change – where does that start?

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