It’s Wednesday. Time to fill my weekly pill dispenser. I open a drawer that holds three brown prescription bottles filled with three months worth of my medications.

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I drop pills into each compartment and then snap them shut. I tuck my hot-pink pill dispenser beside the coffee maker on my kitchen counter – out of plain sight but not to be missed when I pour the day’s first cup of coffee.

Last week I went to my first 12-step meeting for the “dually-blessed” – those of us who have alcoholism AND another mental illness (Yes, Virginia, alcoholism REALLY IS A MENTAL ILLNESS. The American Medical Association said so in 1957.)

It was the first time in a long time that I felt free to talk about ALL my mental illnesses – alcoholism and bipolar II (hypomania) without someone shooting me an evil look. If you think the stigma of mental illness is strong “out there” you should see it in the recovery community.

Every time I write about this I hear from dual-diagnosed recovered alcoholics who live in an enlightened community – such as Boston – who insist this discrimination does not exist. But let me tell you, it is real. The gist is this: you are not truly clean and sober if you take any “mind altering” medications – such as anti-depressants, mood stabilizers or anti-psychotics.

There are about 33,000 suicides in the United States every year.

There are about 18,000 homicides in the United States every year.

Now, ask yourself this: If there are nearly twice as many suicides than homicides, how come I don’t hear about more suicides in the news?

Because the media doesn’t think it’s appropriate to cover suicides. We don’t want to cause any more anguish to the friends and family of people who kill themselves. (Imagine that, the media is concerned about causing anguish!)

That’s the unspoken rule in newsrooms across the land – suicide is personal and private and covering it would cause more pain. Unless the person who killed herself is famous, there is no news value. But homicide is fair game. Doesn’t matter how obscure you are. If you’re dead and somebody killed you – it’s news.

I am back – in more ways than one.

For the last few weeks I have been on assignment, covering the oil spill. I work for a newspaper in South Florida and I am the environmental reporter. I have been in Louisiana, Mississippi and the Florida Keys. I also snuck in a trip to Boston to visit McLean Hospital, a psychiatric hospital affiliated with Harvard.

I would love to sit here and tell you about my mental health in the last month. I can’t. Earlier today I was threatened with a lawsuit. This has happened to me before. Every journalist gets this threat at some time during her career.  Usually nothing comes of it.

But when you have a mental illness and you are open about your mental illness, the threat of a lawsuit – no matter how seemingly frivolous – is a very serious matter.

If there is one thing you can say about actress Glenn Close, it’s that she has a very cool sister. And her sister, Jessie Close, has a couple of great kids and laid-back service pup named Snitz.

The Close family wants everyone to know that mental illness is a family disease. It can destroy, bankrupt and embarrass families. Or — as in the case with the Close family — it can bring them together to fight the illness and the stigma, which can cause as much suffering as the illness.

So, there they were last Friday night on a stage in Boston – Glenn, Jessie, Jessie’s daughter, Mattie Close-Davis, Jessie’s son, Calen Pick and  and Snitz, being honored  by the prestigious McLean Hospital — a Harvard affiliate chock-full of renown psychiatrists, therapists and researchers. They looked like any happy family — except Glenn is a movie star, Jessie is an alcoholic with bipolar, her son has schizo-affective disorder and her daughter is a healthy young lady who thoroughly supports her family.

In the words of the inimitable Gomer Pyle, “Surprise. Surprise. Surprise.”

A group of three managed behavioral healthcare organizations, who suspiciously call themselves the “Coalition for Parity,” have sued the feds, claiming they were “denied their right to participate in the rule-making process” for implementation the Wellstone-Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act.

Who didn’t see THIS coming?

The Coalition says the “interim final rule” drafted by the feds is so “vague,” “ill-informed,” “ill considered,” “fatally ambiguous,” “unrealistic,” “severely flawed,” “carelessly drafted” and “boundless” that the rule “does not advance the cause of mental health parity; but rather impedes it.”

According to court papers filed on April Fools Day (Seriously, they filed this on April 1) the Coalition for Parity says it “strongly supports mental health parity.” In fact,  the Coalition is so concerned about parity that it believes separate deductibles are the best way to ensure that people like me, with mental illnesses, get the care we need – especially low-paid workers, addicts and alcoholics.

Good news! The Federal Aviation Administration is lifting its ban on allowing pilots to fly while on antidepressants.

Bad news! I still can’t be a pilot.

While lifting the ban on antidepressants made for great headlines today, it’s not until you read down into the story that you learn that under the new policy, pilots who take one of four antidepressants — Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa or Lexapro — or their generic equivalents will be allowed to fly “if they have been successfully treated by those medications for a year without side effects that could pose a safety hazard in the cockpit.”

That’s cool, but they are all SSRIs. What if a pilot needs more, like Wellbutrin, an NDRI, along with an SSRI? That’s my regimen. I take Lexapro AND Wellbutrin. Does that mean the pilot cannot fly? Yes.

There is something really liberating about being “out” about my mental illnesses. I gave a lot of thought before I went public four years ago. One friend pointed to television journalist Jane Pauley: “Look what happened to her after she went public.” I was putting my career on the line, others reminded me — not to mention any hope of ever getting a date.

I mulled it over. I had been in my career for about 25 years and was successful and was well-established. My parents had both died of cancer and unfortunately, I had become estranged from my brother and sister. My father was an only child and our family had moved away from my mother’s brothers and sisters when I was a child. I hadn’t seen or talked to aunts, uncles and cousins in decades.

I have very good friends who I knew would have my back. I was not married or in a relationship. Most people who had known me for any length of time — especially those who drank with me — knew I am an alcoholic and had been sober for years.

My biggest concern was my daughter.  I talked with her about my going public. She was 14 years old at the time but wise beyond her years. She did not mind me writing about my depression and bipolar disorder but she was not comfortable with me disclosing my alcoholism. About three years later, she changed her mind, and I went public with my alcoholism.

When I weigh the advantages and disadvantages of going public — and wonder what my life would be like today had I kept my mental illnesses secret — I know I made the right decision … for me. I cannot count the number of people whose paths I would not have crossed had I not gone public. I have made so many friends and deepened so many friendships because I am open about my depression, bipolar disorder and alcoholism.

Going public is NOT something I recommend. For many, going public could be disastrous, not only for their relationships and careers but for their own mental health. I share my …

I am on vacation. This is the first time I have flown since Delta imposed a $25 fee on each piece of luggage — which is really a slap in the face after paying an arm and two legs for a ticket.

Anyway, my resentment over the baggage fee melted — a little — when I saw the choice of in-flight movies and television programs. I found an HBO program called Diagnosis Bipolar. So, at 34,000 feet I learned what it was like to have a child with bipolar disorder.

I wish all the anti-psychotropic naysayers out there could see this program. These are the kids that are allegedly being drugged by pill-popping-happy parents who don’t want to deal, don’t know how to deal or aren’t willing to deal with their child’s bad behavior.

These are the legions of kids who just need more exercise and structure, less sugar and television and good old-fashioned discipline. They need consequences and “traditional” two-parent homes.

Puh-leeeeeez.