Archives for Alcoholism

Alcoholism

4 reasons why addicts should not trust doctors

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Last month I went to the emergency room with tightness in my chest and shortness of breath. I answered a bunch of questions about my medical history, told them about my depression and bipolar, the meds I am on and made it clear that I am a recovered alcoholic/addict and that I do not want to be given any medications that might cause me to relapse.

The doctor came, looked at my chart, looked at me and asked if I was in pain. I said no, just uncomfortable tightness and shortness of breath. .

"Do you have any pain?" the doctor asked.

"I'm going to give you some Ativan. It will help you relax," the doctor said.

"No you're not," I said. "I'm a recovered alcoholic/addict and I don't take benzos."

"Why?" the doctor asked.

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Alcoholism

Six rules I follow to avoid depression during the holidays

Yesterday, as I was sitting on the front porch I was smacked upside the head by a Hallmark moment. An SUV with license plates from another state pulled in the driveway of the family across the street. I love having this family and their little ones across the street.

From the SUV spilled little cousins and what looked to be an aunt and grandmother. Their front yard was filled with hugs and babies on hips and...
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Alcoholism

Top 5 comebacks when asked why I don’t drink alcohol

For some reason, people want to know why I don't drink.

If you offered me Brussels sprouts and I said "no thanks" and you said, "are you sure I can't get you some Brussels sprouts?" and I said, "No thank you, I don't eat Brussels sprouts," would you ask, "How come you don't eat Brussel sprouts?"

Probably not. But when I say I don't drink alcohol, people what to know why.

Why is that? I haven't figured that out yet, but...
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Alcoholism

Drug treatment: How many times will you go to go to rehab before you realize it isn’t working?

This is going to make some people mad. I'm going to say it anyway.

Why do addicts and alcoholics go to rehab over and over and over if it doesn't work for them? If you had cancer and you did 10 rounds of treatments and they weren't working, would you keep going?

I know you are going to say relapse is part of the disease. But if you relapse over and over and over and over, why go back to the same treatment? At a certain point you have to stop blaming the disease for your relapse and realize the treatment you are doing for your disease simply isn't working.

Stop going to rehab. Stop paying tens of thousands of dollars for a treatment protocol that isn't working for you. I'm not saying that rehabs don't work. They do - for some addicts and alcoholics. Treatment will work for the highly motivated addict or alcoholic who won't be distracted by the cushy, resort-like facilities that offer massages, tai chi, golf "therapy" and meditation on a Florida beach.

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Alcoholism

How my depression nearly killed my sobriety

This month I celebrate 17 years of sobriety. Let me say that again. This month I celebrate 17 years of sobriety.

I can't believe I just said that because it seems so impossible and sounds so weird coming from my mouth.

17 years.

How the heck did that happen?

One day at a time. I also followed suggestions, especially from a doctor friend who told me about 12 years ago that I was in a major depression and needed antidepressants.
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Alcoholism

Can codependency kill?

I have a friend who says her codependency will kill her before her alcoholism. I am so codependent that when I do, I'm afraid someone else's life will flash before my eyes.

I am completely consumed by a dear friend's terminal illness. I don't like the way his caregiver is handling his care. I desperately want to jump in and tell his caregiver how to do things because in my spare time - when I'm not leaping  tall buildings in a single bound - I am an oncologist, a child psychologist, pain-management specialist and super-model.

That's how sick I am. I have the best intentions but my execution is a little off. It is obsessive caretaking. We form one-sided relationships with people who need care - such as my friend, who has cancer. The caretaking becomes compulsive and pathological.
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Alcoholism

Government scrubs substance-abuse data but doesn’t tell researchers

What if the government decided to withhold the data it gathers on an insidious mental illness that affects nearly one in ten Americans and did not bother to tell researchers it had done so?

It happened. The data are collected by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. The mental illness - substance abuse.

The New England Journal of Medicine exposed these shenanigans and explained the consequences in an article published in April: Protection or Harm? Suppressing Substance-Use Data, by Austin B. Frakt and Nicholas Bagley. According to the authors, the CMS began to withhold from its data sets, called the Research Identifiable Files, any Medicare or Medicaid claim with a substance abuse diagnosis.

Why? Patient privacy concerns. Why didn't the CMS tell researchers? Good question.
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Alcoholism

Medical malpractice in treating dual-diagnosis

In September 2013 I had the unpleasant assignment of covering the memorial service of 10-year-old Alexandra Brooks. The service was held in the gymnasium of her school, where my daughter had also been a student. It was the same gymnasium where I sat through many  Christmas pageants and spring concerts.

The little girl's father, Bradley Brooks - who found his daughter's lifeless body - sat sobbing in the front row of the bleachers. The girl's mother, Pamela, who stabbed her daughter and then killed herself with the same knife, was not mentioned - although everyone quietly wondered...why?
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Alcoholism

My closet filled with little boxes of bad deeds

In my mind there is a closet. It has one shelf and I must stand on my tip-toes to reach the little brown boxes on it.

I don’t reach for those boxes often because what is in those boxes scares the hell out of me. Each box contains a memory of an event that I wish had never happened or that I pray never will happen.

I only pull one of those boxes down and unwrap it when I know I need to. One box hold the memory of a car accident I had while drinking more than 30 years ago. I wrapped a 1972 Gran Torino – a massive vehicle – around a telephone pole.
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Alcoholism

Depression, obsession and rumination

I once heard a guy say that he tries to wear his life like a comfortable old t-shirt. I like that and I've been trying to do it lately but I think I must have shrunk that t-shirt in the dryer because it's tight as hell right now.

From the outside you might not notice that my comfy t-shirt has morphed into a corset. But from the inside, it feels like it has. I'm carrying around this intensity right now - for work, for working-out and even for finishing the entire seven-season series Sons of Anarchy.

I am driven. I can't seem to slow down my thoughts. One thought leads to another and another and another. It makes me good at what I do - newspaper reporting - but it's not good for my mental health. It's a constant tugging - intellectually I want to slow down - instinctually I want to speed up.
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