Bipolar is not funny. I know. I have Bipolar II. But sometimes, you just gotta lighten up and laugh at…bipolar disorder. People have gotten seriously ticked off at me for occasionally taking pot shots at bipolar disorder. But THIS is funny. It ran in The Onion 10 years ago and it still makes me chuckle…
NEW HAVEN, CT –In a diagnosis that helps explain the confusing and contradictory aspects of the cosmos that have baffled philosophers, theologians, and other students of the human condition for millennia, God, creator of the universe and longtime deity to billions of followers, was found Monday to suffer from bipolar disorder.
Rev. Dr. J. Henry Jurgens, a practicing psychiatrist and doctor of divinity at Yale University Divinity School, announced the historic diagnosis at a press conference.
“I always knew there had to be some explanation,” Jurgens said. “And, after several years of patient research and long sessions with God Almighty through the intercessionary medium of prayer, I was able to pinpoint the specific nature of His problem.”
Bipolar, or manic-depressive, disorder is a condition that afflicts millions. Characterized by cycles of elation followed by bouts of profound depression and despair, the disorder can wreak havoc on both the sufferer and his or her loved ones, particularly if it goes undetected and untreated for an extended period. Though the condition is estimated to affect, in one form or another, 5 percent of the world’s population, Monday marks the first time it has been diagnosed in a major deity.
Evidence of God’s manic-depression can be found throughout the Universe, from the white-hot explosiveness of quasars to the cold, lifeless vacuum of space. However, theologians note, humanity’s exposure to God’s affliction comes primarily through His confusing propensity to alternately reward and punish His creations with little rhyme or reason.
“Last week, I lost my dear husband Walter to the flood,” said housewife and devout churchgoer Elaine Froman of Davenport, IA. “I asked myself, ‘Why? Why would God do something like this, especially when He had just helped Walter overcome a long battle with colon cancer, and we were so happy that we finally had a chance to start our lives anew?'”
The thing about this kind of humor, which some of you may consider sick humor, is that I need it occasionally. I need to poke fun at whatever it is in my life that I take soooo seriously, such as bipolar disorder, God and colon cancer. My mother died of colon cancer but I think even she would laugh at this article. We know God has a sense of humor. Just look at the platypus.
When I am depressed I take everything – EVERYTHING – very seriously. EVERYTHING is a very big deal, an overwhelming task. NOTHING will ever change. EVER!
I respect my bipolar disorder. I respect my alcoholism. These illnesses can be fatal. I know. I tried to kill myself twice in college. I am not cold and insensitive but I have to lighten up sometimes. Even when it comes to my bipolar and alcoholism. If I don’t, it smothers me.
Sometimes I just need to laugh at myself, my bipolar and God’s bipolar. At least I’m in good company.
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Last reviewed: 22 Jun 2011