My Christmas tree has no lights. According to an article in the paper this morning, there is a Christmas light shortage. We have been to many, many stores but there are no lights.
I have never had a tree without lights. Actually, it doesn’t have any ornaments either because I have been waiting to put the lights on before decorating it. At first I was upset 
about there being no lights. I mean, come on, Christmas comes the same time every year. You would think the Christmas tree light makers would have figured out the supply and demand thing by now.
There was a time, before I quit drinking and was treated for depression and bipolar, that a dark tree would have put me over the edge. Seriously. It was exactly things like a Christmas light shortage that would have had me frantically calling every store that might ever have sold a light bulb and finally getting on line and paying an arm and leg to have lights shipped to me overnight.
But, there she is, my $60 Christmas tree, listing in a dark corner of my living room. Naked. I’m taking it as an omen or divine intervention or a stigmata or something. Maybe there is a lesson in this. Last week I was pretty uptight about not being in the Christmas spirit. I had made a decision to take Christmas down a notch this year and was feeling guilty about my decision.
But as I sit here writing, with my dog curled up under my desk and my naked Christmas tree in the corner, I’m feeling pretty good about Christmas and myself. A year ago I was having such a rough time that my nurse practitioner had to adjust my meds. Life is weird.
The cool thing about my naked tree is that it has shown me the progress that I have made. All those little baby steps I have been taking over the last few years just seemed like little baby steps until something happens – like a Christmas light shortage – and I don’t freak out. This is huge progress. Finally, 
I am wearing my life like a big, comfy old sweatshirt instead of a pair of Spanx.
If I keep this up, next year I might be able to listen to Paul McCartney sing that annoyingly chipper “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” song without wanting to scream. Or not.
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From Psych Central's Social Media Stream:
PsychCentral (December 17, 2009)
Your problem isn’t depression it’s terrible planning. 
But, yes, little things like that do give you perspective.
You are sooooo right. I usually recycle lights year-to-year but I threw them out last year because so many had burned out. I will have to get creative…
Isn’t it nice to see the growth we’ve made? Congratulations! Depression remission and sobriety, I find, are a very nice combination!
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