I had a discussion a couple of days ago with someone who was convinced that Tiger Woods is not a sex addict. He’s just a really rich guy who can afford to get as much of “it” as he wants and so he does – at least 16 “affairs” over five years of marriage isn’t pathological, it’s just a guy who wants to get laid – a lot.

I argued that it is not fair to compare Tiger Woods to other philandering notables: A-Rod, Michael Jordan, Wade Boggs, Patrick Ewing, Frank Gifford, Princess Diana, David Letterman, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and on and on…

Why? Because these folks had affairs that lasted for longer periods of time and involved actual affection. They had affairs involving ONE other person (that we know of). They did not involve at least a dozen women over a five year marriage – spread out all over the globe with not intention of affection. Big difference. Tiger is in another league of philanderers – right up there with Eliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton. These guys have “issues.” These guys may have “impulse control disorder.” These guys are in it for the risk as much as the you-know-what.

The discussion went back and forth until I asked: “What do you know about sexual compulsion? Have you done any research on it?” He hadn’t. He did not know the symptoms, the behaviors or the progression of sexual compulsion – he was just speaking as a guy who watches a lot of sports.

I know sexual addiction is not in the DSM…yet. But where is the line between “boys being boys” and pathological philandering? Heck, I don’t know but it’s out there somewhere. It’s out there for any addiction – behavioral or substance. But how many pairs of Stuart Weitzman makes you a shopping addict? How many pulls of a slot machine make a gambling addict? How many trysts makes you a sex addict?

I don’t think it is that easy. Diagnosis involves more than just numbers. It involves a lot of what YOU cannot see. I know. I’m an alcoholic. It involves how much time we spend thinking about “it” and planning to do “it” and how much of “it” we will do. It involves trying to quit “it” and not being able to.

I am not saying that Tiger Woods is a sex addict but I am sure the celeb rags and programs will weigh in with their opinions. All I am saying is that we need to stop declaring someone mentally ill or not mentally ill without knowing a damn thing about the illness.

This happens ALL THE TIME with depression. People with depression are just lazy. Tiger Woods is just horny. Ya think? There are more to these disorders than we couch potatoes have learned watching E! or reading People magazine. Unfortunately there are no blood tests to prove that Tiger is or isn’t a sex addict, that I am or am not an alcoholic with depression. Which is why we need to do some homework before we make a diagnosis based on what some gossip columnist or celebrity program has told us.

I am going to hold off passing judgment on Tiger. Obviously what he did was very, very wrong. I don’t know why he did it but I am willing to have an open mind. That’s all I need right now.

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From Psych Central's Alicia Sparks:
Psychologist, Author Tells Us to Shut Up About Tiger Woods | Celebrity Psychings (December 23, 2009)

GoodTherapy.org Blog (December 23, 2009)

From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (December 23, 2009)

    Last reviewed: 23 Dec 2009