Stigma kills.
Robert Enke, the beloved goalkeeper for the German national soccer team, stepped in front of a train on Tuesday. Enke, 32, was at the height of his career – expected to be the German team’s goalkeeper in the 2010 World Cup. He and his wife Teresa had adopted a daughter, Leila, earlier this year. Leila is 18 months old. Three years ago the couple’s 2-year-daughter, Lara, died of a heart condition.
Enke had battled battled depression for six years but feared that if his depression became public they would lose Leila, his widow said.
“We had Lara; we have Leila. I always wanted to help him to get through it,” she told reporters. “He didn’t want it to come out because of fear. He was scared of losing Leila.”
Sit down, close your eyes and imagine – if you can – what it would feel like if you suffered from a reviled illness and believed that your child would be taken from you if word of your illness got out. People with cancer or heart disease or diabetes do not have these worries. They can focus on getting well. But not people with mental illnesses. Those of us with mental illness have to worry about losing our friends, family and job – not to mention insurance – if our alcoholism, depression, bipolar or schizophrenia etc. becomes public.
Regardless of whether you are a soccer fan, we can honor Enke’s memory by speaking up and out. Loud. Anytime you hear anyone poke fun at the mentally ill, doubt their suffering or joke about their medication, chime in, interrupt and defend Enke’s despair. It was horribly real. Make a statement when you see an antidepressant ad on television, listen to Nirvana or read about Anna Nicole. The stigma is not going to go away on its own.
Unfortunately Enke believed that he had to choose between getting well and losing his daughter or staying sick and keeping his family together. Sadly, he got it backward. By staying sick his daughter lost her father.
God rest your soul Robert Enke.
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From Psych Central's Christine Stapleton:
uberVU - social comments (November 11, 2009)
Diary of a Madman » Another Fallen Brother: Wir trauern um Robert Enke (November 12, 2009)
Stigma - not depression - killed Robert Enke | Depression On My Mind (November 12, 2009)
I am so glad you posted this - there really IS a stigma about depression. Unless you suffer from it, you can not truly understand the suffering. I get so tired of people thinking that mentally ill people can “snap out of it” or “quit feeling sorry for yourself” and realize it is a debilitating disease, and should be treated with the same care and respect as a physical illness.
May he be free of pain now.
Thank you for this article, with which I could not agree more. Whilst it’s possible Mr Enke and others with mental health difficulties would have committed suicide due solely to their conditions, I am convinced that many cases of suicide could be averted but for familial and societal reaction to openness about having such an illness
This outdated stigma is offensive, unfair (as if we *choose* to be mentally ill!) and ultimately horribly damaging, as this case attests. Attitudes need to change.
RIP Robert Enke, and sympathies to his family and friends. This is such a sad case.
Stigma- negative views OF A SOCIETY about a particular subject. To change a stigma one must change the views of the society from whence it came.
Mental illnesses are disorders of the brain, not personal choices yet we know that certain life events along with the sufferer’s own biological and emotional make up may activate the problem.
How then do we resolve both the above issues? Mental illness is more than a psychiatric problem so suggestions from “us” may give the answers. Are the “right” questions even being asked????
Let’s get this discussion rolling.
It’s a terribly sad thing to happen. Perhaps part of Robert Enke’s legacy will be to help prompt more public discussion about mental health issues. RIP.
I know the horrid pull of suicidal ideation. I have fought it off many times and stopped trying when I realized what it would do to my children and anyone who might care about me.
I also know the painful, shameful stigma of having Dissociative Identity Disorder. Comedians joke about us and bad tv movies misrepresent the experiences of those with DID. Most people seeing me would never guess how I suffer because I learned early to work hard at “passing for normal”. It’s awful hard for any of us to “walk a mile in someone elses shoes”. I live with a spouse who believes DID doesn’t exist and that I am a lazy malingerer. I can’t even begin to tell what that feels like.
I am not a joke and no one who suffers needs to be stigmatized on top of the mountain of difficulty that already exists in having a mental/emotional disorder.
I feel very sad for this man and his grieving family/friends/team mates. They will always wonder if it was their fault he did what he did. When will people wake up and grow some compassion???
Bravo, Christina
For your writings and your courage in life too!
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