All threee have dates.

Bryan’s date is Oct. 10, 2008. That is the day his father killed himself. Bryan talked about his father today at the annual survivor conference sponsored by the Southeast Florida Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in Fort Lauderdale.

Bryan could not find enough adjectives to describe how wonderul, amazing, fun-loving, hardworking, absolutely hilarious his father was. A mountain biker, successful businessman, skiier, race car driver, a man who seemed to love his life and his life love him back.

“In his note he wrote maybe I lived too good a life,” Bryan said.

Just before Oct. 10, 2008 his father sold his possessions, he stopped doing things that he liked to do, he was in a severe depression and he had a prior suicide attempt in 2001.

“Bryan, you don’t know how bad this depression is,” Bryan recalled his father saying. “In his note he also wrote that it was too late.”

Paul lost his partner of 16 years on March 10, 2005 but that was not the worst day of his life. March 11, 2005 was the worst day of his life. That day he called his family, his partner’s family and friends.

“In addition to the stigma of suicide, I was shunned by coworkers because we were a gay couple,” Paul told the audience here in Fort Lauderdale today. “I am not going to deny that he died by suicide or that I loved this man.”

“The more we discuss suicide, the more we say the word “suicide”, the less stigma there will be,” Paul said. “Please say the word “suicide.” It’s a form of death.”

Renae’s son was 25-years-old when he shot himself. That was one year and seven months ago.

“From the day the sheriff came to my door until today, I have not cried,” she said. “It is amazing how the word has moved on and dragged me along. There are some of the longest days and nights but the longest years that have ever been.”

She is mad at the authorities, who treat suicide like a crime: “We are subjected to their accusations and questions. People feel like they have the right to ask the most intimate questions. All the standard comments about suicide are useless and offensive.”

Her rabbi asked he what she missed the most about her son: “Everything.”

“Time softens the heartache, but never the loss.”

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From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (November 21, 2009)

    Last reviewed: 21 Nov 2009