“Honesty means doing the next right thing. Honesty is humility. Honesty is my best shot at happiness, don’tcha know.”

Thanks Christine, that’s really beautiful. I think that there’s a real joy to be found within humility.

I agree that honesty can play an important role in recovery for all sorts of things; however, it is certainly not the key the Big Book portrays it to be. People can be as truthful as they possible can, but it does not in any way make treatment for a mental illness suddenly work. Take the Schizophrenic that has tried every anti-psychotic on the market, yet has only developed high blood pressure with little symptom relief; the assault survivor diagnosed with PTSD that finds therapy ineffective; or the sufferer of treatment-resistant depression that can’t find happiness no matter how much therapy or medication he tries. They were all honest about their illness and took their doctor’s recommendation, but still suffer severely. What would you say to them?

As always, though, thank you for your wonderful, insightful postings. You can tell that you’re dedicated to reaching a happier future for yourself and for that I can only give respect. Keep up the good work with your recovery: as somebody from a family filled with addiction and mental illness, I know how hard it can be.

I wanted to let you know that I love your column and website, I stumbled upon “you” when I was researching something depression related. I suffer too, on/off for 20 years. My doctor things I may have ADD too but I don’t think so. I’m currently a pharmacuetical experiment, and recently just took a leave of absence from work for the first time in my 24 year career history that I took a leave to enter an outpatient program which helped.

I’ve tried lots of different meds while I was there.
I’m better now. Like you said, I have to remember where I came from. But I still have horrible days and honestly I think there is more going on.

I also have an autoimmune disease that can become serious but so far has been somewhat manageable, except when it flares. It was once diagnosed as polymyositis (for 10 years) but now it’s Mixed Connective Tissue Disease. Not fun.

I can totally relate to your blogs and articles and will keep reading and responding.

You are brave putting yourself out there, I totally respect you for doing so.

Best,

Carol

Powerless is not the word that comes to mind when I think of you. We all need support in one form or another to treat and manage our illnesses. That you use available resources and manage yours so wells is a sign of power.

Martina

Having spent a lifetime dealing with the concept of “Emotional Honesty & Self-Acceptance” and written a book on the subject (2000, http://www.xlibris.com),I know what a confusing issue this is. Feelings are “subjective brain interpretations of actual emotional experiences.” Unfortunately, the human mind has an infinite capacity for “self-deception.” Even in the most private and secure place — psychotherapy — we will lie out of fear to reveal our “raw and painful” emotional experiences. We mask emotional pain with anger or sadness, thus “dishonoring” our emotional distress. From teenagers to politicians we live in an society where “faking it”, pretense and “coverups” are the norm. No wonder we don’t teach kids about coping with emotional upsets. Too many adults can’t acknowledge theirs. As a result we over-medicate and use alcohol as “emotional Novocain” to numb the real pain. We could teach kids the OATH of “Owning, Accepting, Trusting and Honoring” what we really feel, rather than burying our emotional truth when we’re upset. As a result legions of kids and adults needlessly suffer because they cannot deal with their emotional reality.

I have spent the last 30+ years of my life trying to figure out why I couldn`t live a “normal”,happy,productive life.I tried to commit suicide at age 10,wet the bed until I was almost 15,was kicked out of high school in my senior year because I was so depressed that I couldn`t get out of bed,used marijuana for 25 years almost daily to keep my stress levels down so I could “get by” during the day.I have many behavioral issues in my life that have caused my family,community and myself much concern.I spent some time in jail at 18 for drug posession and was required to attend 12 step type programs.Although these programs are an excellent way to acknowledge that we do,indeed need the help of others,and that whatever maladaptive behavior that brought us there is obviously not getting us any better,I sensed that there was more to the picture than the label would suggest(alcoholic,drug addict,insert behavioral problem hear).I listened intently to people of all walks of life,with “addictions” to all sorts of substances.What really struck me was the fact that for every story of addiction ,there was always something underneath the behavior that kept them there.That`s the sense of powerlessness that is spoken of.Powerless due to lack of understanding of what honestly brought us and to the brink of destruction.With understanding comes the power to change!
After 30 years of seeking out a professional who could help me to help myself from out of the hell I`d been living in,with little success,I was introduced to Grandfather,a 76 year old Native American healer who was a POW in Korea.Grandfather has been living with PTSD for nearly 50 years now,and uses his experience to counsel other vets as well as individuals and families in crisis.It was Grandfather`s life experience that enabled him to recognise my symptoms as PTSD.I wasn`t convinced at first,and there are those who would rather consider me to be purposely be acting disruptively,but after looking at my early childhood and the many horrible experiences that I went through,it all makes sense.
I`ve been working in EMDR therapy with a trauma specialist for over a year now.I still have a lot of healing to do,but I no longer feel helpless or hopeless.I no longer smoke marijuana,I just don`t feel the need to,and right before I quit I was smoking close to a half an ounce a week just to handle the stress I felt.EMDR is a powerful tool for digging up the roots of one`s problems and amending the substrate of our very souls.”Psyche” comes from the greek meaning soul,So,Psychology is really the study of the soul.The latest research on EMDR is showing that it can be helpful to people suffering from PTSD to those with chemical dependancy issues and many other Psychological issues.I would recommend the book by DR.Francine Shapiro:EMDR, to anyone wanting to get their personal power back and heal whatever lies beneath.

My appologies for the lengthy post.I just hope that sharing these truths I`ve discovered will be helpful to others.You are not alone.There is help and hope to be found,Start by looking in the mirror.You are beautiful,never forget that!

Thanks for this article

I’m puzzled about the part where you say “…I must tell her that I am an alcoholic and I do NOT want any antidepressants, mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety or sleeping pills that could get me high…”

I’m totally with you on the last two categories of drugs, but it sounds as if you’re saying that if you’re alcoholic, you shouldn’t take any mood stabilisers or anti-depressants in case they make you high. But aren’t those drugs TREATMENT for bipolar and depression, and not substances of abuse? How will you treat your ‘companion MI’?

I have seen doctors prescribe benzos for depression and have watched addicts and alcoholics relapse because of it. Personally, I do not think addicts or alcoholics should be put on benzos without very, very close and careful supervision.

Sometimes I think we addicts and alcoholics know more about substances of abuse than the doctors writing the ’scripts. So, I tell the doctor up front - I put the ball in her court - and put the onus on her to write a safe prescription.

Hi Christine
Thanks for your reply I am completely in agreement with you about benzo’s, (VERY bad news, as are the so-called ‘z-drugs’, (Ambien etc.).

I was given a 6-mnth prescription for benzo’s, for bipolar insomnia, got addicted and had a battle to get off again. I’m now treating my insomnia with psychological techniques, sleep hygiene and the like, which are, a) far safer b) side effect free and c) far more effective!

I’ve also told my pdoc “Please, no drugs with abuse potential. And if I’m acutely manic, and in no state to have any say in the matter, I’d rather have thorazine than Valium!”

What I was puzzled about was your inclusion of Mood Stabilisers(MSs) and Anti Depressants(ADs), WITH the anti-anxiety and sleeping pills. I’m continually told by both psychiatrist and psychologist that the MSs and ADs are TREATING underlying causes of BP, and are different from abusable/addicting drugs like benzo’s. I get the Keep Taking The Tablets drill. What’s your take on this?

after being on lithium for 23 yrs,my doctor recomended depakote to avoid possible kidney damage.i am also blessed with being alcholic.
when i stopped drinking,going to aa meetings,
and sought help for manic/depression,i started having good luck.it is ok to seek outside help
andy
soberity date 10/5/86

wrong email before andy m.