In the last 24 hours I have watched two television programs depict recovery. I am pretty sensitive to portrayals of mental illness on television – from Quiznos commercials to the emmy award winning program Intervention. I am a recovering (some would say “recovered”) alcoholic.

Last night I watched the season premier of House. I like this program. No one can do narcissism and anti-social personality disorder like actor Hugh Laurie, who plays a brilliant doctor addicted to pain pills and being rude. Laurie makes a fine addict, especially when he stole the prescription pad from another doctor – also his best friend, who refused to write Dr. House any more prescriptions for pain killers. That is real. We addicts and alcoholics do things like that. Even addicts who are well-educated and well-to-do.

Last night’s portrayal of Dr. House’s withdrawal from pain killers was real, too. He vomited and hallucinated. He writhed and convulsed and ended up tethered to his bed. He looked like hell. He looked like someone in detox. It was a brilliant performance. The only part I did not like was the depiction of the mental ward where Dr. House was locked down. Straight out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, with Dr. House playing Jack Nicholson.

Tonight I watched another one of my favorite mentally ill characters: Dexter, the vigilante serial killer. I have known two serial killers in my career and neither were like Dexter.  Tonight’s episode had Dexter getting mixed up with his Narcotics Anonymous sponsor. I did NOT like this episode. It did NOT portray recovery – especially the sponsor/sponsee relationship – well. In fact, it did a huge disservice to the 12-step program.

To most people 12-step programs are a mystery. The 12-steps are like a secret initiation rite that no one talks or inquires about. They know that there are meetings and that we say “Hi. My name is Christine and I’m an addict/alcoholic.” They may have heard about sponsors but they do not know the sponsor’s role.

Which is why I got ticked off tonight at the portrayal of Dexter’s relationship with his sponsor. There are no rules in 12-step programs – only suggestions. Probably the most important suggestion is this: Women sponsor women. Men sponsor men. This takes sex – what we call the 13th step – out of the relationship. Early recovery feels like someone took a potato peeler to your psyche. The last thing you need is the distraction of the opposite sex when you are that vulnerable.

Dexter did not take this suggestion. He picked some sicko tart who lies with abandon and jumps Dexter’s bones whenever and where ever she can. Big, big no-no’s. The 12-steps are about honesty – not about lying to get a good table at a restaurant. We are supposed to feel safe with our sponsors – not manipulated. So, please don’t accept that portrayal of a sponsor/sponsee relationship as how the 12-steps work. Tonight’s episode showed how and why the steps won’t work.

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From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (September 23, 2009)

    Last reviewed: 22 Sep 2009