Comments on: I have depression but I AM happy

By: Jeon

Jeon — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 21:58:09 +0000

i know how you feel i’m 18 years old and this happens to me, i’m one of the most energetic people, i smile tell jokes, laugh, dance, listen to music, hang out with friends!, But some days i get hit with this feeling of utter hopelessness i feel useless, confused, like i’m falling in slow motion while everything is speeding past me. i really don’t like when i feel this way because i’m always so happy and charismatic and one day i’ll just want to stay in my room and cry, i feel better after a good cry but all the stress and raw emotion have seems to erupt. anyway i’m Happy to hear i’m not alone in this, lets all do our best to stay as happy and positive as we can PEACE and LOVE

By: daisy

daisy — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 21:04:11 +0000

Thank you for posting this. I found it because I realized over the past few days that I am truly depressed and I have been all of my life, but I am not unhappy with my life. I have a great husband who I love, three wonderful children, and I have blessings and talents that are beyond measure, even if they are sometimes hidden to the the world at large.
I go through cycles, like many of us do, where I can keep the tears and frustrations at bay and do not get down, and other times when I just feel too overwhelmed by… well, everything… Even though I recognize that my darkest symptoms are made worse by consuming sugar and simple carbohydrates, it is still a struggle to not reach for a brownie or some other “pick me up” when life is getting hard. I gave up my soda addiction a few months ago, so there is no diet Coke to soothe me.
I can’t abide the feeling of feeling nothing, so I am not taking Rx for depression, though I have recently begun a regimen of Sam-e and St Johns-wort, as well as other vitamin supplements to try to feel more stable. I never go into a manic or major depressive, I’m just always bouncing along, right under “normal”.
I decided a few days ago that I have to take it one day, one decision, at a time. I really cannot change the past, or bounce forward to what I want in the future. Dealing with today, right now, is all I can manage. And, God will help me today, just as He has helped me in the past.
So, I too have depression, but I *am* happy. Okay, well I don’t feel exactly HAPPY today, but I am not un-happy, if that makes any sense.
Wishing all who read this a day of love and light,
daisy

By: Bea

Bea — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 15:54:09 +0000

Men dont make women lucky

By: Will

Will — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 07:33:25 +0000

Alot of what I’ve been reading here makes sense. To do what you can do do things for others really makes a difference. I’ve just gotten out of the hospital a month ago and not back to work yet. I,ve been through about 7 ect tx’s and suffered considerable memory loss, which frustrates and depresses me more. My mind doesn’t seem to want to work the way I think it should. I feel guilty from what I’ve put my family through. I feel like I,ve let them down so much. All I want is to not have to think about all this so much and start to feel a little more normal. I have felt good before and considerably happy, so I know it is possible in my life. I pray quite abit, but sometimes I don’t feel like I,m heard. Or maybe I don’t hear His reply. Nonetheless, I still feel lost and like I’m not getting anywhere with any of this. Bills are piling up and that is making me feel bad also. I’ve put my wife through so much lately. I love her so much and just want to help her be happy. Just my loss of memory, I think really frustrates her. I have been trying to keep busy, but it is sometimes such a challenge. I’m not sleeping very well despite some ativan and sleeping pills. At the same time, I don’t want to get too much in my system, so that I’m a zombie during the day. My main goal, I guess is just not to give up, but I just wish something would help give me more direction and creativity to help me feel better about the direction I’m going and about the things I’m accomplishing. I know life is really worth living and working towards making things better and I know I probably have more control over it than I’m letting myself realize. This frustrates me alot too.I can see this when I help my wife when she babysits the 2,3 and 4 year olds that have just recently started coming to our house. I love their cute innocence and smiles from the simple things that they do while they are here. I really want to feel more of that.

By: snoopy

snoopy — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 15:41:02 +0000

i have only just made aware to my sister that i have been suffering depression/thinking of death since i was 10. being only 25 (i know im still a pup)this affliction has already taken up 3/5 of my life in what i can only describe as ignorance (with the lack of diagnosis). when something is up people need to talk!!! I have always been the person that friends/even strangers confide in about various elements in their life, i always help them in such times, im wondering if others have had these implications in conjunction with their own? being of quite an unbelievably happy demenour no one has ever seen my inner torment which has always been, since 10yro anyways. Am i alone in this 1?

By: Peggie

Peggie — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 03:44:20 +0000

hello, i have been trying to figure out what was wrong with me and come up with depression. i havent told my parents how i feel or anyone else. i found your blog about it and truly understand that i might have depression. this has really helped me understand what is going on with me.

By: anna

anna — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 00:25:42 +0000

Yes and no to most of the comments, I have been struggling since 1996. I have my good days and bad days. I have being on many anti-depression medication. I have seen many doctors, since I moved to Sc, but I have not found one that have had help me to level my medication. When you have this illness you must not stop in trying to find help you must continue, I know that hard. One thing that has help me is praying.

By: Angie

Angie — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:52:04 +0000

I have been looking into the depression side of things to help me unerstand why I was given antidepression medicaiton. I have a great life, 2 great kids, a wonderful husband, a great career, I do not owe anyone money, and yet they say I have depression. I guess I am confused on why I would have it. Why do people get depression? Why do I feel happy about the things in my life? Is this a misdiagnosis? I have went to the doctor several times in the last 6 months to figure out why I have bad head aches and pressure in the back of my head, when I have this, I also have neck pain and numbness in my head and get tired very fast and experience confussion daily. Is this depression? Does everyone who has been diagnosed with depression have this? I am only 41 years old, and the meds that I take for depression have not helped. Does anyone have the answers?

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 11:40:07 +0000

Paul,

I can relate to your kind of “depression”. Although depression runs in my family and I know that I have had some truly depressive states, I am mostly a happy person with the exception of anxiety and guilt over things which I feel I should be able to control, but don’t. Your phrase “paralysis of the will” is how I have tried to explain it to family in the past: “I want to, but I don’t.”

I truly care about things, but often can’t bring myself to act. It depends on how rewarding the activity is for me. Things which make me happy (planning a vacation) are more likely to be done than things that don’t (cooking). The things that don’t make me happy are the things I know I should care about more because they are not trivial (cooking because my husband is diabetic) and as a result I suffer from anxiety (what if eating out every night kills him?) and guilt (if he dies, its my fault). Usually I feel anxiety at night when I am tired. Through the day, I feel happy and blissfully forgetful.

I have not been diagnosed by my doctor yet (big surprise), but I have sometimes wondered if I have a form of ADHD, specifically ADHD-PI (Predominantly Inattentive). ADHD-PI is also linked to Hypothyroidism, also a concern of mine.

Reading up on these two issues may provide some paths for you to pursue.

Good luck.

By: Paul Wilson

Paul Wilson — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 00:54:33 +0000

Hello: I am a lifelong depressed person, with a very rare form of depression. For me, I never feel sad, bad, or depressed. Instead, I typically feel upbeat, optimistic or “fine” while I am depressed (measured by disinterest, paralysis of the will, pure idleness). I am always depressed to some extent, but I practically never “feel depressed”. For me, the whole term depression is a nisnomer. Even so-called “atpical depression” assumes that one has negative emotional feelings while the depression is in effect. I call my version of depression “hedonic paralysis” or “contented idleness”. Maybe my version is a still undetected third major category of depression – undiscovered because the subjects don’t tend to use the work “depressed” when they describe their symptoms.

I take Rx to boost serotonin, dopamin and norepinephrine, and these definitely help, but often not well enough.

Does anyone out there identify with this form or subset of depression? Paul Wilson.