I’m so glad you’ve been able to enjoy happiness. I’m leery of mine because I wait for it to go away.

Do you have MAJOR Depression Disorder, or mild depression? There is a difference.

My last major clinical depression was three years ago. I have lived with dysthymia most of my life.

you can have depression without being negative. in other words pessimism doesn’t cause depression nor does optimism cure it. When i experiene feelings of depression i find it helpful to connect with people who absolutelly understand and are kind and nonjudgemental. People who do not give me the room to be myself no longer figure in my life. Acting happy for someone elses benefit doesn’t make any sense to me.

Very well said! I could have wrote the same thing myself. I have been thinking this very same thing over the last few weeks/months.

I find it helpful to live in the present whenever I remember. We can’t change the past (although we can reduce the power of bad memories), but we can choose how we respond to the world in this instant. Unless I’m very severely depressed (which with the help of Prozac is now less frequent) I can usually look around and find something to feel happy about. Okay, this is a bit cheesy, but things like the first time I notice leaves budding on the trees in spring, a beautiful sunset, the colour cast on a winter’s day, stroking a cat and hearing her purr. It takes practice but it is possible for many depressed people to give themselves moments of happiness, and however fleeting they do make a difference.

Yes we can laugh, and still struggle! DEPRESSION , when referring to a medical condition, is an illness with a variety of possible symptoms. Negative, sad, “depressed” emotional state is just a symptom. I have many symptoms, especially extreme fatigue yet, I don’t feel bad, sad, mad like many depressions in the past. Doctors shouldn’t discount depressive illness because the depressed emotional state isn’t present too.

hi, i am glad that you are strong. i believe everyone has times of sadness, sometimes mild, while sometimes it might be more unbearable. i believe you are a strong person, who will do your very best to support your family and help everyone around you (spreading the happiness), despite having unhappy moments and i hope you will continue with such positive attitude. i believe if you keep having the right thoughts and actions, such as having the will to help the less fortunate around you, to spread and share your happy moments, know that your family needs you, etc, you will be able to overcome your sadness. i have read medical books, which says some illness will cause depression. so do not hestitate to consult a doctor so that your illness can be cured faster and you will be less stressful of it. (i felt such stressful moments before, which causes slight depression. my cause was neck pain.) and you might like to meditate to calm down your mind as well as your body, this will help you. meditating is controlling your breathing so that your mind will not fluctuate, and you can concentrate. u might like to read up on buddhist meditation ya? lastly, i really hope that you will overcome difficulties in your life and be the one to help other people, maybe 10, 100 or even 1000 people along the way. stay strong, stay committed. may you get well soon. all mi tuo fo.

I’d bet cash money that your bad days are influenced by diet, exercise, and sunlight just as much as they’re influenced by interpersonal/financial/employment stress. You might get your vitamin D level tested. I’ve started taking vitamin D after a blood test showed a deficiency. Since then, my happiness has been through the roof. It’s like my best days, over and over. You will need to take a fairly large dose of D and monitor with blood tests to make sure you aren’t getting too much. Give it a try.

Just wanted to add that this type of low-grade, fluctuating depression is sometimes referred to as cyclothymia. You think you don’t have clinical levels of depression, but something is off that’s not simply related to everyday life issues or even existential issues. Seriously, get your vitamin D level tested, it could change your life.

How nice for you. I appreciate the comment above that asked the level of your diagnosis.

I have been depressed, most often severely depressed, since I was 5. That’s almost 50 years. Medications help, some of them, some if the time, as have internal and interpersonal approaches. However, you are one of the lucky ones. I expect I speak for many of us who count “happy” in days, or hours, or moments. When we’re lucky, we survive. When we are blessed, we can actually be happy about things other people enjoy without thought- from looking good in an outfit to receiving a compliment about it to listening to music or seeing a butterfly.

Mostly, I try to not suffer. And inflict on others- as the blog points out who wants to be around THAT? So I have survived. Sadly many do not. And I posted this comment in their memory and to encourage those like me to at least expres their own suffering and not feel, as I did on first reading of this and similar “think yourself well” articles- that you are bad or in the minority because you CAN’T simlply decide to be a happy person!

I liked this post a great deal. I feel the same way often. I have recently tried Abilify and while I won’t endorse it for everyone I’ve found between that and working with a team of clinicians (therapist, trauma specialist (with expertise in hypnosis) and a psychopharmacologist that I’m feeling better than I have in months. One of my lessons learned is that when you’re in a major depression episode you don’t think it will ever end and when you’re feeling better you hope the depression will never come back. Riding through the rough times is helped by a team approach. All the best to all who posted.

Hey, these responses bubble. Thank you.
Does anyone have any tricks that help you catch even a few seconds of ‘happy’ when you’re very down?

Nigel–smile–laugh your fool head off, and spend about 30minutes enumerating out loud how wonderful you are. Even if its not true, say all the things you want to be, state it as if you already are: For example: I am happy, I have so much happiness I don’t know what to do with it, I feel great, I look great, I am …..I am…..I am…..

Nigel–I did some scientific research on the simple smile, could it or does it really release endorphins– I have a Bachelor’s of Science so I want to know! or is it hogwash? I found out scientifically that a smile does lead to a release in endorphins. This helped me to appreciate the Creator of the smile who gave us a nonpharmacological happy pill that we can dose ourselves with prn as needed. And even a fake smile will do–

Hey Christine I am glad you mentioned how we get tired of our loved ones being sick, also the fact that their negativity infects us.

Why am I just learning that I can feel another’s negativity and anxiety?

I had an experience in harmony with your article.
Recently I was in a hotel room with my 2 sisters and my mother. I was in a jovial, energized, active mood. I kept feeling an unwelcoming, rejecting, resentful, attacking, dislike. This continued. I was confused and wondering if it was all in my head. The tension or ill feelings began to rise, build. I got real irritated by what I did not know, I just felt really angry to the point of explosive. After about 30mins. I decided I was going to confront the members in the room. I said I wanted to make an announcement, and I told them how I was feeling and asked them if they did not like me because I was feeling very hated and unwelcomed and I wanted to know what the dynamics in the room were all about. They all denied disliking me and looked at me like I was a nut. My other sister told me I was feeling the anxiety of the eldest sister and I was taking it personally. My eldest sister admitted she had taken a klonopin and was thinking about taking another as her anxiety was building. I then yelled at her and said: If I can control my anxiety without medication, you can control yours with medication! Keep your anxiety to yourself!

I am still surprised at my lack of empathy and compassion and my actually commanding her to quit infecting the room with her negativity. Truly I am tired of her negativity and fearfulness, so sick and tired of it! And I didnt want to come to the familiy reunion and share a hotel with her because I did not want to be around her to see her negative moods and anxious behaviors–it literally incites me and I am not fully sure why? Partly I think its because I am ready for her to quit playing the sick role and sucking up all the attention or whatever she is doing–and as I say these things I know better because I have a background in psyche and have suffered with a plethora of mental illnesses of which I chronically battle unmedicated. I feel like if I can keep it under wraps so can she with her plethora of chemical assistances. Listening to me explain it sounds so heartless and unempathetic that it confuses me. She has been sick for decades. I am tired of her being sick! Its like enough already! Crap or get off the pot!

here here!!! totally agree. People who get help and admit that they may suffer depression at times/or all the time should give themselves a pat on the back. I am a sufferer and am getting treated… for a few people I have known to not seek help and they watch from above. Society needs to understand we are not crazy or weird and that we are trying our best to get control of it because in reality we dont want to be sad just like the next person.

Hello: I am a lifelong depressed person, with a very rare form of depression. For me, I never feel sad, bad, or depressed. Instead, I typically feel upbeat, optimistic or “fine” while I am depressed (measured by disinterest, paralysis of the will, pure idleness). I am always depressed to some extent, but I practically never “feel depressed”. For me, the whole term depression is a nisnomer. Even so-called “atpical depression” assumes that one has negative emotional feelings while the depression is in effect. I call my version of depression “hedonic paralysis” or “contented idleness”. Maybe my version is a still undetected third major category of depression – undiscovered because the subjects don’t tend to use the work “depressed” when they describe their symptoms.

I take Rx to boost serotonin, dopamin and norepinephrine, and these definitely help, but often not well enough.

Does anyone out there identify with this form or subset of depression? Paul Wilson.

Paul,

I can relate to your kind of “depression”. Although depression runs in my family and I know that I have had some truly depressive states, I am mostly a happy person with the exception of anxiety and guilt over things which I feel I should be able to control, but don’t. Your phrase “paralysis of the will” is how I have tried to explain it to family in the past: “I want to, but I don’t.”

I truly care about things, but often can’t bring myself to act. It depends on how rewarding the activity is for me. Things which make me happy (planning a vacation) are more likely to be done than things that don’t (cooking). The things that don’t make me happy are the things I know I should care about more because they are not trivial (cooking because my husband is diabetic) and as a result I suffer from anxiety (what if eating out every night kills him?) and guilt (if he dies, its my fault). Usually I feel anxiety at night when I am tired. Through the day, I feel happy and blissfully forgetful.

I have not been diagnosed by my doctor yet (big surprise), but I have sometimes wondered if I have a form of ADHD, specifically ADHD-PI (Predominantly Inattentive). ADHD-PI is also linked to Hypothyroidism, also a concern of mine.

Reading up on these two issues may provide some paths for you to pursue.

Good luck.

I have been looking into the depression side of things to help me unerstand why I was given antidepression medicaiton. I have a great life, 2 great kids, a wonderful husband, a great career, I do not owe anyone money, and yet they say I have depression. I guess I am confused on why I would have it. Why do people get depression? Why do I feel happy about the things in my life? Is this a misdiagnosis? I have went to the doctor several times in the last 6 months to figure out why I have bad head aches and pressure in the back of my head, when I have this, I also have neck pain and numbness in my head and get tired very fast and experience confussion daily. Is this depression? Does everyone who has been diagnosed with depression have this? I am only 41 years old, and the meds that I take for depression have not helped. Does anyone have the answers?

Yes and no to most of the comments, I have been struggling since 1996. I have my good days and bad days. I have being on many anti-depression medication. I have seen many doctors, since I moved to Sc, but I have not found one that have had help me to level my medication. When you have this illness you must not stop in trying to find help you must continue, I know that hard. One thing that has help me is praying.

hello, i have been trying to figure out what was wrong with me and come up with depression. i havent told my parents how i feel or anyone else. i found your blog about it and truly understand that i might have depression. this has really helped me understand what is going on with me.