It’s like this: my picker is broken.

Obviously, I choose men who are not exactly compatible and then I stay with them beyond the expiration date. It has taken 50-years, two marriages and a string of unpleasant break-ups to figure this out. Obviously, I am not a quick study.

I am begrudgingly venturing back into the dating game. It ain’t pretty. Besides the gray hair, stretch marks and wrinkles there is the matter of my mental illnesses. Plural. How many dates before I throw THAT on the table? “Did I mention that I have depression and bipolar?” “Why don’t I drink? Well, I am an alcoholic.” Let me throw menopause on the menu, too. And THE BLACK PLAGUE.

Am I a catch or what?

What’s a guy supposed to say to all of that? Then there is the matter of the medications…and therapy…and meetings. “But hey, if you want to know that stuff about me, you can read my column that’s published in newspapers throughout North America or check-out my website or blog. Don’t worry, I don’t write about the guys I date anymore. I learned THAT lesson.”

Excuse me, I have a line of white knights at my front door.

Seriously, what’s a mentally ill, menopausal, addicted woman to do? It’s not like I can go to a nightclub and get wasted and dance on the bar. I know I’m a bubble off plumb. I know I color outside the lines. Do I look for a guy who is the same? Honestly, I have never been attracted to a guy who is not like me – except for the teeny tiny fact that they are not sober or don’t want to admit they are depressed. How am I supposed to turn off that switch? Experience has shown me that if I am attracted to a guy he is probably not compatible with or good for me.

How about on-line matchmaking! Beyond the fact that my teenage daughter says she will divorce me if I stoop to internet dating, there is the teeny tiny fact of filling out the questionnaire – honestly.

I don’t know. It’s too overwhelming at this hour of the morning. I’m going to walk the dog. Maybe Mr. Right is at the dog park.

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alcoholics annon (November 17, 2009)

    Last reviewed: 10 Jun 2009