I have not been a fan of hip-hop/rapper Eminem (aka Marshall Mathers). There is something about artists who espouse misogyny, homophobia and racism that kinda grinds me. Especially when they do so in the name of “art.” I respect and defend his right to do so. But I do not like his art or the influence it has on his 10-year-old followers.
All that changed this morning. In an interview on the cover of the Arts & Leisure section in the New York Times Mathers speaks about his addiction, depression, recovery, art and why it all matters.
“I don’t know if I’m exposing myself,” Mathers told the reporter. “I’m kind of just coming clean and exhaling.” Yes, Marshall, you ARE exposing yourself. And I admire the hell out of you for doing it. It’s one thing for someone like me - a middle-aged journalist - to speak openly about my alcoholism, depression and bipolar. It’s another thing for someone like Mathers to come clean.
Recovery from any addiction does not change WHO your are. It changes WHAT you are. Mathers gets this. He is still Eminem and Slim Shady. But he is no longer a selfish, self-absorbed and self-righteous addict who used the First Amendment and his art as an excuse for his addict-behavior.
Losing your identity is among the greatest fears of a recovering addict or alcoholic. Who am I without my drugs and alcohol? Will I still be liked? Will I still be cool? Will I be able to do what I did before without drugs and alcohol. Mathers, God bless his little bad-ass heart, answered all those questions in this article.
“I was the worst kind of addict - a functioning addict,” Mathers told the reporter. “I was so deep into my addiction at some point that I could not picture myself doing anything without some kind of drug.”
Exactly. Whether it is sober dancing or sober sex, this is a huge fear for us and was for Mathers, too.
“The deeper I got into my addiction the tighter the lid got on my creativity. When I got sober, the lid just came off,” Mathers said. The result is his new album “Relapse.”
From the sound of it, Mathers has no intention of hitting the recovery road-show circuit. He has never wanted to be a role model and still does not - which makes him an even more convincing and powerful poster-child for recovery. Recovery is NOT going to turn you into Wally Cleaver. You are still you, but your ego is right-sized, your body is healthy and you are given back your soul.
I once knew a biker who got clean and sober. Another recovering addict suggested that he get his hair and clean-up his image. I said, “You do not have to. You are a more powerful example as you are now - a clean and sober biker with tatoos, a pony tail and half a mouth of teeth.”
Marshall, please keep making your music, working your program and doing the Slim Shady thing. You are a powerful role model, whether you like it or not. Thank you.
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I have been a long time fan of shady and i also am a recovering addict . Kinda wierd my name is stan cause of the song and all but everything he has said sounds as if he is working a solid program .Change is a good thing, getting rid of charcter defects and sharping your good ones is what the program is all about . The inside is what has too change and everything else falls into place .Be easy , one day at a time . sincerily Stan W southside chi town B.I.
I give him credit. Kicked it all for 6 months, now I am back to where I am from where I started except the alcohol is much more of a factor. I always thought alcoholism was bs. Its true, along with addictions to opiates(including tramadol), Provigal, Benzos(valium, Klonopin, and xanax), and my other so called non addictive drug called Cymbalta for my major depressive order…well got news for you people if tramadol is addictive, Cymbalta is addictive…both SNRI’s. I also take piracetam as well…I feel awesome every morning. Take my 200 mg Modalert, handful of tramadol, cymbalta, and my piracetam, along with a large glass of water and a banana. Later in the day it sucks, unlimited numbers of benzos and tramadol with many light beers. I am expecting death will be coming soon if nothing is done. Who do you ask for help. Six months off of benzo’s was hell and I was told things would get better. Never did, depressed everyday, suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts of those who hurt me the worst. A happy medium would be awesome. I can see some people, including celebrities self distruct.
This is my opinion, and my opinion alone, but I think doctors who prescribe benzos without doing a through exam for substance abuse are a malpractice suit waiting to happen. If you’re an addict - like me - you can become addicted to anything - regardless of whether it is chemically addictive. I could become addicted to aspirin or Oreos if my disease took me there. I never, ever have my alcoholism or addiction “problem” solved. It constantly morphs.
Again, this is just my opinion, but the doctor whose name is on the prescription bottle needs to be more responsible and held accountable. Apparently, the medical profession has forgotten Anna Nicole Smith.
For me, the key was finding a medical professional - a nurse practitioner - who specialized in treating alcoholics and addicts with mental illness AND being perfectly honest with her about my addiction and all the substances I had been addicted to so far in my life.
Life is hell when dual-diagnosed. All illnesses must to treated. Again, this is my opinion, but treating depression without treating the addiction is not going to make me well. That’s like treating a patient’s hypertension but ignoring her arteriosclerosis.
Please do not give up. You can get better. This is not the way it has to be. Please, keep trying. You are in my prayers.
I agree fully with your blog post and you pass along a great message; addicts who quit drugs and alcohol merely use their drug identity, not who they really are at heart.
Mathers is an angry guy - he shouldn’t be famous in the first place, but since he is he should watch how he acts in public.
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