There is something to be said for taking suggestions. The last thing I wanted to do on Saturday morning was go to the beach with my girlfriends. I wanted to stay in bed. But my therapist said I needed to get out and attend a codependency group and there was one at the beach Saturday morning.
It was a gorgeous morning but I sat in the back seat in silence, flat, numb and wiping the occasional tear. “I don’t really want to talk,” I told one of my girlfriends when she asked if I was okay.
Here is the really annoying thing about depression: You go some place that everyone thinks will make you happy and the happy place makes you even more miserable. Then you get frustrated because you KNOW you should be happy at the beach with friends on a beautiful Saturday morning.
You are standing on the exact same stretch of sand as that couple holding hands and those teenagers throwing a frisbee. So, why am I so miserable in the same stunning environment that makes everyone else so happy?
In fact, YOU were on the same stretch of beach a couple of weeks ago and you felt great. Everything – the sand, the sun, the smell of suntan lotion – is exactly the same as it was two weeks ago. How can I possibly have such a different reaction when everything is completely the same? Intellectually, I understand it is my depression. The chemicals and hormones in my brain are out of whack. But emotionally I beat myself up.
This time, I surrendered to the suggestions of my friends, therapist and psych nurse. I got a really good night’s sleep with the prescription sleep-aid from my nurse and adjusted my meds exactly as she had instructed. I stayed close to my friends, who respected my silence and understoood my need for company. I went to the meetings my therapist suggested. I made mental lists of the upside of all the downturns in my life lately. I stayed away from my Sarah McLaughlin CDs. I even went to my book club dinner for the first time in months.
I woke up this morning, looked side to side, up and down, raised my eyebrows and thought, “Dang, I feel pretty good. I think I nipped this in the bud.” This has never happened before. I was too self-sufficient and full of ego to follow suggestions. Until now.
Bring on the suggestions.
Related Posts
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
From Psych Central's Social Media Stream:
PsychCentral (May 19, 2009)
Last reviewed: 18 May 2009
Copyright © 1992-2010 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Site last updated: 21 Mar 2010
|
