“As a result of it I have felt more things, more deeply; had more experiences, more intensely…”
Psychologist Kay Redfield Jamison has written a number of books, including a memoir, about bipolar disorder. She reportedly first planned her own suicide at 17, and attempted to carry it out at 28.
Can such a profoundly challenging mental health issue like depression actually have some benefit for the many creative people who suffer from it?
Dr. Jamison responded to a question about experiencing bipolar, if she had a choice: “If lithium were not available to me, or didn’t work for me, the answer would be a simple no… and it would be an answer laced with terror.
“But lithium does work for me…Strangely enough, I think I would choose to have it. It’s complicated.
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I’m a bipolar artist, it’s generally agreed I do my most creative, or at least best art, when I’m depressed, not sure why, seems like the pain makes you seek out exotic things as a possible solution. Also self-loathing makes you consider things you normally hold dear to be worthless so you look elsewhere. That’s moderate depression, I see no benefit from deep depression.
I used to think I was creative when I was manic, but now see this state as less creative than being normal, it looks creative, ideas flowing freely, but it’s 999.99% cr*p. There can be breakthroughs into new areas which may be useful later.