Archives for General

Couples

Finding True Love

“True Love” – we see this expression used practically everywhere we look. So many of us have begged to experience just that in moments of our own romantic frustrations.

But what are we willing to give up to get true love? To this question we can already hear some of you retorting: “But true love should be unconditional! Why should I have to sacrifice for it?!”

That is a very good question. Our answer to that is...
Continue Reading

Coping

Date Night Every Night

Romantic partners who have spent any time searching on Google or through the shelves of Barnes and Noble looking for the solution to their troubled relationship have undoubtedly come across oodles of blogs and self help books extolling the benefits of a weekly or monthly "date night." We often hear from an unhappy spouse that it's because they do not have date night that their relationship has fallen into disarray.

Once a week or once a...
Continue Reading

Coping

If you had my family, you’d hate the holidays too!

Many of us look forward to the holidays with growing excitement. We have only fond memories and warm thoughts of family, holiday meals, and merriment. But some of us would vote the holidays off the calendar forever if we could. The holidays don’t give us the warm fuzzies at all. For this second group, the holidays conjure up dark images of depression, chaos, and family arguments.

Traumatic memories are a powerful thing. If you have...
Continue Reading

Addiction Recovery

You Are Responsible for the Quality of Your Own Life

As a culture we seem to be gaining more and more awareness of the benefits of "self care" as a crucial ingredient for peace of mind and wholesome living. In successful romantic relationships this is especially important. In successful romantic relationships self care is more than an ideal, it is a must.

Each partner in a romance need to be taking individual care of their respective physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. The term “self-care” is widely used to refer...
Continue Reading

Coping

When IN Love, Emotional Safety is as an Important as Physical Safety

For a successful and loving relationship to endure the ups and downs life brings, there needs to be a foundation of safety as its cornerstone. We have found that without romantic safety, couples are unlikely to enjoy the depth of closeness and intimacy most partners crave. It is very difficult, or perhaps even impossible, for an individual who feels physically or emotionally threatened by his or her partner to risk trust and vulnerability.

Let's start with...
Continue Reading

Coping

Does Your Partner Want the Same Relationship that You Do?

The first question that partners in a relationship need to answer is whether or not they share a similar vision  for their relationship. This is true whether the partners are making their very first commitment to each other or whether they are looking for healing and reconciliation in an injured and hurt relationship.

Are you both “IN” – or perhaps one of you is “IN” while the other is really “OUT”?

We never assume that couples
Continue Reading

Addiction Recovery

Share Your Experience, Strength & Hope With Your Partner

In 12 step recovery circles there is an accepted protocol to how members support each other - especially when they are trying to help a newcomer to the program.

Members of the recovery community do not tell others in their group what is best for each other, they do not preach, and they do not pretend to know for certain what is best for one another. It is common to...
Continue Reading

Addiction Recovery

Only 8% of People Keep Their New Year’s Resolution

Think about the various commitments you and many others have made over the years. We did, and came up with this very brief list of common resolutions we typically hear before the new year: I’ll lose weight. I’ll stop smoking. I’ll spend more time with my partner, or with my children. I will save money. I will be less stressed out.  Then, somewhere around the second week of January, those promises go the way of all the other promises. Some of us may not fall off the wagon until a few months later, but by year's end most of us will not have made it through as we had indented. We start snacking, smoking, or spending more time at the office. We swipe the credit card impunitively. And most of us have found out the hard way that we cannot simply wish our stress away...
Continue Reading

Coping

The Holidays Do Not Need to Feel Like An Endurance Contest

The holidays can be particularly difficult for people to cope with. Some will want an escape from the memories of past holidays. Others will be looking for activities that will provide them with the opportunities to create new memories. Holidays also generate obligations, which can appear to occur in a continuous stream with no breaks. Whatever your experience, many people encounter a great deal of stress during the holidays. Many have even come to expect the agitation and the disagreements. When thinking about changing this yearly pattern of stress, so many of us have said, “Why bother? The holidays are to be endured, not enjoyed.”
Continue Reading

Coping

How You Can Nourish a Healthy Romance

We have all known times when our romantic life seems to just “click” on all cylinders. Oh how wonderful it can be! At other times however, it feels as if we are running a romantic fever and cannot seem to get it right. When relationships are experiencing poor romantic health, partners are not likely to view each other as valuable. Our tendency during times of “soul sickness” is to see the flaws in our partner’s character. Those flaws can seem glaring! Our partner’s behavior will become increasingly less tolerable and our attention will be drawn to the ways in which it seems that our partner detracts from the quality of our life.
Continue Reading