The first thing to consider when examining whether or not your romantic relationship needs help, and how much work it needs, is to decide whether or not your romance has romance.

Many couples are slow to acknowledge that their romantic relationship is lacking romance.  It is as if the relationship will be cursed or doomed to failure if a lack of intimacy is discussed or should one partner report that they are unhappy.

Unhappy does not mean divorce.  Acknowledging a lack of intimacy does not mean that the “love has died” any more than frequent sex symbolizes a healthy romance.

Over the years, couples have come to us for help with a relationship that was devastated by sexual betrayal in which both partners would have sworn a betrayal would be an impossibility given the frequency of their shared sexual encounters.  We have found that regular sex is no more an insurance against marital infidelity than infrequent sexual intimacy is a predictor of it.
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