The same is true of the satisfaction we feel in our romantic life. It is very difficult to maintain a heathy romance with a bad attitude, and it will be just as difficult to have a bad romance with a positive attitude.
There are two easy steps you can take to develop a more positive attitude in your romance. These steps will help you to become a more grateful partner in your relationship.
First, take some private time and retreat to a quiet place. Prepare a gratitude list about your partner and about some of the gifts you enjoy in your relationship. (It is a good idea to update this list every year to mark your progress.) This gratitude list will help to establish yourself in a state of gratitude. A state of gratitude generates a calming sense of security as it promotes a feeling of fulfillment.
Our next suggestion is that you and your partner create time to regularly share your gratitude for your partner directly with each other. It is not enough to simply feel grateful for the gifts in your relationship; you need to share that gratitude with each other directly.
Some couples do not believe they need to do this second step. After all, our partner knows us best. He or she knows all our secrets and must surely know how grateful we truly are for what he/ she has brought to our life. We are confident that the times of deep sharing we have enjoyed together have contained the kind of dialogue that would sufficiently communicate to our partner how important he/she is to us.
Why then, we ask, must we explicitly spell out and remind our partner of his/her importance to us? He/she must certainly know by now!
Sharing our thanksgiving with our partner is much more than saying “thank you” to him or her. When you share with your partner that you took the time to prepare a list of those qualities in your partner that you are particularly grateful for, you will be affirming the risks your partner has taken to fully commit himself or herself to you and to the relationship.
If you support your gratitude list with specific examples of when you benefited from each of those qualities that you are grateful for, you will provide your partner with a clear picture of the ways in which the deep spirit of your romance is alive. You will be feeding that spirit of love and admiration for each other so that it can grow to even greater depths. The gifts you have given to each other will grow in your thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving is so much more than saying “thank you.” Thanksgiving is a gift that keeps on giving.
Please click HERE to share with our readers some tools that you use to keep a positive attitude in your relationship, or how you stay focused on gratitude. Thank you so much to all of our readers for taking the time to read and offer us your feedback on our blogs. It is most appreciated. Happy Thanksgiving to all!
This article was written by John & Elaine Leadem, senior supervisors of the Leadem Counseling & Consulting offices in Toms River, NJ and East Brunswick, NJ. The content of this article is based on their book “One in the Spirit: Meditation Course for Recovering Couples.”