Couples

Finding True Love

“True Love” – we see this expression used practically everywhere we look. So many of us have begged to experience just that in moments of our own romantic frustrations.

But what are we willing to give up to get true love? To this question we can already hear some of you retorting: “But true love should be unconditional! Why should I have to sacrifice for it?!”

That is a very good question. Our answer to that is...
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Coping

Date Night Every Night

Romantic partners who have spent any time searching on Google or through the shelves of Barnes and Noble looking for the solution to their troubled relationship have undoubtedly come across oodles of blogs and self help books extolling the benefits of a weekly or monthly "date night." We often hear from an unhappy spouse that it's because they do not have date night that their relationship has fallen into disarray.

Once a week or once a...
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Coping

Today’s a Gift…That’s Why It’s Called the Present

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it’s called the present. (Alice Morse Earler, 1902)

When we spend time living in the past, life in the moment is likely to have less meaning and joy. The same is true for partners in a romantic relationship. Living in the past will greatly diminish our romantic opportunities for meaning and joy in the present moment. This seems to be true for...
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Coping

If you had my family, you’d hate the holidays too!

Many of us look forward to the holidays with growing excitement. We have only fond memories and warm thoughts of family, holiday meals, and merriment. But some of us would vote the holidays off the calendar forever if we could. The holidays don’t give us the warm fuzzies at all. For this second group, the holidays conjure up dark images of depression, chaos, and family arguments.

Traumatic memories are a powerful thing. If you have...
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Addiction Recovery

You Are Responsible for the Quality of Your Own Life

As a culture we seem to be gaining more and more awareness of the benefits of "self care" as a crucial ingredient for peace of mind and wholesome living. In successful romantic relationships this is especially important. In successful romantic relationships self care is more than an ideal, it is a must.

Each partner in a romance need to be taking individual care of their respective physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. The term “self-care” is widely used to refer...
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Coping

When IN Love, Emotional Safety is as an Important as Physical Safety

For a successful and loving relationship to endure the ups and downs life brings, there needs to be a foundation of safety as its cornerstone. We have found that without romantic safety, couples are unlikely to enjoy the depth of closeness and intimacy most partners crave. It is very difficult, or perhaps even impossible, for an individual who feels physically or emotionally threatened by his or her partner to risk trust and vulnerability.

Let's start with...
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Coping

Does Your Partner Want the Same Relationship that You Do?

The first question that partners in a relationship need to answer is whether or not they share a similar vision  for their relationship. This is true whether the partners are making their very first commitment to each other or whether they are looking for healing and reconciliation in an injured and hurt relationship.

Are you both “IN” – or perhaps one of you is “IN” while the other is really “OUT”?

We never assume that couples
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Coping

The 4 Essential Building Blocks to Being IN Love

Partners in a troubled romantic relationship will often report that while they love their partner… they are no longer “IN" love with him or her. We believe the only difference between the two statements is the word “IN.”

We have learned over the past 38 years that to be “IN” Love requires that we make a decision to become emotionally vulnerable with our partner. Below, we present in bullet form what we have found to be essential in the foundation of such...
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Addiction Recovery

Share Your Experience, Strength & Hope With Your Partner

In 12 step recovery circles there is an accepted protocol to how members support each other - especially when they are trying to help a newcomer to the program.

Members of the recovery community do not tell others in their group what is best for each other, they do not preach, and they do not pretend to know for certain what is best for one another. It is common to...
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Couples

Are You Authentic?

Some of us think that being authentic means we should say whatever is on our mind without regard for how our words may be taken. “I am sick and tired of tiptoeing around everyone,” we say, “for now on, I am going to be real. If you don’t like it, lump it!” This kind of authenticity however, is usually only the angry flip side of the fear that drives us to “tiptoe” around in the first place. We are so afraid to rock any boats, so we stay cooped up inside ourselves. Then, when our internal pressure cooker bursts, we lash out without any regard for who we may be hurting – we may even want to hurt those people after all the internal prison time we just endured “tiptoeing around” them.
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