Archives for July, 2011
Hello... I was thinking of taking my "rant" about Norway down. Killing it. I was thinking it might be hurting you and others. It might be insensitive. It might be completely wrong. Out of line. Madness. My madness. I wrote it on Monday, the day after ~ I can't remember when, exactly. Lately, I've been turning day into night... My sleep cycle is all over the map. I was speaking from emotion, more than reason. Pure feeling. Not stream of consciousness. That would be too kind. And incorrect. Just bald, naked, raw anger and fear. Fury, about how such a horrible and horrifying act of violence could happen to such a beautiful nation of peaceable people. Other things were playing in the background of my mind, too.
Get ready for a rant. I'm writing on four hours of sleep. I am a firm believer in talking therapy. A member of our community mentioned in a comment yesterday that in Sweden, where she lives, a minute of silence was observed for Norway. Here is what she wrote to me in response and support of my post yesterday. Listening beneath my words... She was listening, really listening, beneath what I was writing. She was hearing something, because she always listens keenly, intuitively, and she's always, somehow, tunes into me and what I'm feeling. Even when I don't hear myself. She has a special gift as so many of you do, here.
I just got home from the gym where it was sub-zero until I finished my cardio ~ and was sweating. I won't say a word about the heat. We're all feeling it in this part of the world. It's not news anymore.. Nor is Murdoch and his secrets and lies. It's Norway. But for me, it's not even Norway, right now. I cannot imagine how Norway is feeling. I cannot fathom the shock the Norwegians are experiencing. Looking forward to some relief, perhaps... For me, right now, it's just another level of personal struggle (or resilience-building, depending on how you want to look at it) that will begin to resolve itself this week, I hope. I'm getting a bit sick of the struggling, so in the meantime, I thought I'd check in and let you know that I'm still alive. At the moment. :) Eeeeeeeeeeeeee-Reading ... I want to take a nap but there are so many things to do. So many books to read. My latest passion is my Kindle. A gift. The perfect gift for me. I live in relative silence because of my hearing loss, so reading is what I do 90% of the time.
We arrived at our film a few minutes late. It was only playing at one theatre downtown. We took the subway because it's the most cost-efficient way to travel in Toronto on weekends, but there were some slow spots on the line. It was a bit of a rush. Nonetheless, the film, despite the reviews, is terrific, spectacular... For someone, like me, who's worked at newspapers from 1970 to 2007 ~ and I now write online features for another one ~ the daily miracle of getting a newspaper to print, press and the public every 24 hours is just that, a miracle. There's no way else to describe it when you consider all the things that could go wrong, and don't. It's a carefully choreographed dance and each member of the company is dependent on the others.
I've started fitness training to stay on top of my moods which are all over the map these days! Plus, I need to build up my diminishing my bone mass. With borderline osteopenia, I want to avoid more medication. All drugs have side-effects, so it's best to avoid them, if at all possible... I take eight (8) different prescription drugs a day, in various combinations, plus weekly injections of Aranesp or EPO for chronic anemia. That was caused by my immuno-suppressants. All for my transplant. Only one for my mood. I die without them ~ so I live with them. I will do anything to prevent taking more. Exercise is a great preventative of a million and one things ~ including in some cases, the need for pharmaceuticals ...