So, dearest Jessica…

Now ~ to deal my swelling, tender, painful calves which are a symptom of something, no one yet knows what ~I have to wear compression panty hose.

Otherwise known as medical legwear ~ and trust me, Jess, there’s nothing remotely sexy about medical legwear, despite the splashy sales pitch and pictures.

And, they are hell to put on …

I hate them.

They take 20 minutes to struggle into ~ struggle being the operative word. It’s like going to war with your legs first thing in the morning.

And heaven help you if you want to take a shower AFTER you have them on. Forget it. It’s impossible. By then, your legs are so swollen and in addition, you’re wet ~ no towel can dry you dry enough for these bloody things.

Wet or dry, it doesn’t matter. There’s no way to get the damn things back on if you try more than 20 minutes after you’re up and about. By then, the fluid in my body is trapped in my calves and they’re on the swell. Swelling. SWELLING. But there’s nothing “swell” about it.

Dear Jessica ~

Please forgive my not keeping you in the loop.

Last week, my psychiatrist, Dr. Bob, told me simply “to write the year 2010 off.”

Sounds pretty prescient, given what’s happened since then, but in truth, he is up to speed and I am so sorry you and my readers are not. I am seeing him weekly these days because I’m having so many problems over which I have utterly no control ~ physical health problems. That could be serious.

I wish I knew something. But, I don’t. No one does. Yet.

That’s what’s really driving me crazy. The “not knowing.”

Last Monday, I was downtown at two different hospitals and a private radiology clinic ~ to speed things up.

At 7:30 a.m. I had two ultrasounds ~ pelvic and transvaginal ~ then I saw Dr. Bob for an hour, and then I had to have a “possibly cancerous” lesion taken off my face which had to be stitched up and which will leave a small scar.

It all started with my beautiful new shoes. They fit divinely ~ and my feet are not easy to fit.

It’s so bad that I dread shopping for shoes ~ and I’m not averse to shopping.

Shoes, however, are not my thing. But I found the perfect store. The perfect size for me. And the perfect price. $49.

So, today, I was wearing my new shoes for the first time.

They’re a sleek little number ~ simple, black, with a three-inch heel. Great for walking. A very low ankle boot, really, with a four-inch zipper on the instep. And they don’t hurt. Most shoes hurt me, except sneakers.

Perfect, for me…

I had an appointment with Dr. Bob, my psychiatrist, at his office. I like to look nice for him. It gives me a lift. We have a relationship like none other. He notices everything. Inside and out. He never misses a trick.

You’ve heard me say repeatedly how much I thrive on “new beginnings,” so you can imagine the buzz I feel following Labour Day when school begins and the evenings begin to crisp.

Autumn is my favourite “new beginning.” Besides the “back to school” phenomenon affecting kids, parents, teachers, the economy ~ I love the way autumn looks here in Southern Ontario.