Archives for Coping Skills
Skype, email, text, IM, cell phone call, face time, gchat, Tweet, Facebook message…we have so many means of communication now that we didn’t have even a few years ago. And yet, communicating with our partners, especially when we’re at a long distance, has never been so challenging. Deciding whether or not to pursue or stay in a long distance relationship has only become more and more complex. Many of you have been pondering whether or not to stay in your relationship over the summer. You’ve also wondered whether or not to go abroad or stay at school and be with your significant other. These are not easy decisions. After all, true love, and/or a great relationship, can be hard to come by and build. Yet, some of us still have so many adventures ahead of us!
“Man Cannot Discover New Oceans Unless He Has the Courage To Lose Sight of the Shore.” – Andre Gide Loneliness can be a crippling cycle: students feel alone and isolated so they withdraw from their social lives, making them feel more alone and isolated. As of last February, loneliness accounted for nearly 5% of all spills…Loneliness can feel very isolating. Most anyone can and does experience loneliness, and we have found that it is often accompanied by difficulty making friends, homesickness, feeling alone around others, or having too few meaningful acquaintances. It is no wonder then that many first years in particular feel a sense of loneliness. During my first few weeks of college, I remember calling my parents to tell them that I would never possibly make the quality or extent of friendships that I’d had back at home. I was crying and very upset (they often remind me of this in a teasing manner to remind me of how quickly things that seem negative can turn around and become a positive experience. For the record, I did make many meaningful friendships in college, and I still keep in touch with many of those people today.)
One of our readers recently posted a poignant comment after reading “Stress Tends to Spill” last week in which she stated that “students should strongly consider seeking out their counseling center on campus. They don’t need to be going through a crisis before they seek this help; they can just go to have someone to talk with.” Here at Spill, we couldn’t agree with her more. In fact, most therapists and counselors would agree that no problem is too small for a visit to see a counselor. And yet, we have found that a huge chunk of student spillers feel as though their problem wasn’t serious enough to visit the counseling center. There is still a huge stigma around mental health issues, and college students are not immune to that stigma. Stigma can come in many forms, not the least of which is most damaging is when it creates self doubt or shame. This can be shame around one’s feelings, or around admitting to what we’re struggling with, and it can also mean shame around asking for help. But it doesn’t have to!
With St. Patrick’s Day behind us, any foreign visitor on a college campus might think that college life revolves around drinking. Green Beer, drinking games, and alcohol-induced bravado seemed to dominate this past weekend. However, many college students choose not to participate in the drinking culture that is synonymous with higher education these days. In fact, Student Spill had a number of students this year who anonymously vented about their frustration with the role alcohol played in their lives. It may seem that the majority of college student shrink with abandon, but when they are anonymously venting, another story emerges. The images of drinking and the college experience as intertwined are everywhere: movies like Beerfest and Old School have little value other than the drinking games they teach. It is easy to think that college life is all about the drinking and this image can be overwhelming to students who feel this may not be right for them. I’m not here to preach about avoiding underage drinking, but I’d be a fool to pretend all college students are binge drinkers. College campuses all have their own culture, and within those campuses each student is part of a network that has its own social culture as well.