During some very rare downtime this morning, I was able to relax with a cup of joe and catch a few minutes of The Today Show. The segment was about Simon Monjack, Brittany Murphy’s widower who was found dead Sunday night by the same lady who found Murphy dead just five month’s ago: Brittany’s mother, Sharon Murphy.

More than that he died, the segment was about how he died, which, of course, none of us know yet. Lots of folks are attributing his death to the serious heart condition he kept ignoring (his publicist, Roger Neal, claims Monjack needed bypass surgery but kept putting it off), but naturally there’s also been talk of accidental overdose (supposedly prescription medications were found at the scene), suicide, and even a broken heart.

Despite those last two suggestions, I’ve refrained from blogging about it here until authorities release more official and conclusive reports.

The reason I’m blogging about it now is a comment Neal made during the segment.

When he was asked whether or not he thought suicide could be the cause of death – whether he, as someone very close to Monjack, thought there’d be reason to suspect suicide or if Monjack was in a place where suicide would be a plausible suspicion — Neal replied by saying that if a person is going to “check out,” that person doesn’t do it if he has going on what Monjack had going on.

Sadly, that’s a widespread misconception about suicide.

Not everyone who commits suicide is going to fall into a neatly organized little category called “This Person Might Commit Suicide” category. There is no such category. While there are certainly suicide warning signs people can look for (or, unfortunately, not notice until after a suicide is completed), not everyone who’s contemplating suicide is going to exhibit those signs.

At the same time, the option to “check out” isn’t one that only people of certain classes or situations or financial statuses think of. Neal seemed to be under the impression that because Monjack was rich and famous and was excited about the upcoming work he was going to be doing with Murphy’s charity foundation, The Brittany Murphy Foundation, that there was no reason he could want to “check out.”

Similar to mental illness, the “option” to commit suicide isn’t really all that discriminatory.

Rich people can think of it. Poor people can think of it. Employed and unemployed and singles and marrieds can think of it. Parents and children and executives and cashiers and yes, even wealthy people getting ready to launch foundations, can think of it.

Understand that I am in no way suggesting Monjack’s death was a suicide. I don’t think it’d be a huge leap, given he’d just lost his wife five months ago and was in seriously poor health. Still, I don’t know. None of us knows yet.

However, I am suggesting we not form opinions — on Monjack’s case or anyone’s case — based solely on what we see on the outside. Because no matter how close we are to a person, really, most times we only see what’s on the outside — what that person allows the world to see.

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Dr Antoine Spiteri (May 25, 2010)

From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (May 25, 2010)

    Last reviewed: 25 May 2010