Yesterday evening, Yahoo published an omg! article stating that Rihanna and Chris Brown have reportedly “reached out to each other” a mere three weeks after Brown allegedly assaulted her. The article states that Brown not only called Rihanna to wish her happy birthday last week, but also that the two spent some time together at one of Puff Daddy’s (yes, PUFF DADDY – I’m just old school like that) homes.

Then, later on today, Yahoo published two more articles: one that claims US Magazine confirmed this reconciliation, and one that claims Rihanna’s father, Ronald Fenty, is supporting his daughter’s decision.

Since this “news” hit, a few people I know (and some that I don’t) have sent e-mails or otherwise struck up a conversation with me about this situation. At the risk of turning this into the Rihanna and Chris Brown Variety Blog, I’m going to share with you some of the highlights (basically edited versions of the overall thoughts and my responses/research).

Three weeks?!

Yeah, that was one of my initial reactions, too. It doesn’t seem like an adequate enough amount of time for either one of them to find the resources they need to independently work through this.

What the [expletive] is Diddy doing?

I don’t know. I’m guessing he cares about both of them and wanted to offer them a sort of neutral place to deal with things away from the public’s eye. This is just an assumption, but I feel fairly sure that Puffy has enough sense to make sure situations don’t “escalate.”

Hello!? Why is her dad okay with this?

Hello!? Rihanna’s an adult. Daddy’s little girl becomes much harder to protect once she grows up and becomes a successful, independent woman.

Plus, which do you think would be more helpful to Rihanna: Her father telling her and the press that he’ll be supportive, or her father launching into a tirade about how he refuses to tolerate his daughter’s reconciliation with Brown? Seriously. Daddy Fenty seems to know what he’s doing so far.

Why does Rihanna even want to be around Chris?

She probably loves the guy. Love isn’t an emotion you can immediately switch off – even if the person you love abuses you. Love also, sometimes, wipes out rational thought. Rihanna may be thinking that the quicker she and Brown can reconcile, the quicker things can go back to being “normal”; when, in reality, the two are going to have a lot of work to do before things will ever be “normal” again.

Is Chris Brown an abuser?

Chris Brown allegedly abused Rihanna. As far as I know, we don’t know anything about any former assaults on anyone else. And, from what we supposedly know about the situation, I don’t think Brown actually fits the “cycle of abuse” – so far, this seems like an isolated event.

While some believe it’s quite possible for people to change (for example, the folks at programs like CHANGE and Emerge make it their mission to help an abuser change his behavior), others believe abuse is never a one-time event. This way of thinking has never made much sense to me, because, if we’re to believe abuse is never a one-time event, then we’re also to believe that once Person A abuses Person B the very first time, Person A will then continue to abuse Person B (or Persons C, D, E, and so on) for the rest of Person A’s life. If anyone has an explanation for how that way of thinking could possibly apply to every single person who’s ever abused another person, I’m open to hearing it.

If Rihanna really is spending time with Chris Brown again, do you think this will increase the chances she’ll lose her endorsement deals?

Tricky one. I want to say “no,” because I would hate to think companies would punish Rihanna for the ways she chooses to deal with her own personal situations (just as I would hate to think they’d punish her for being the victim of abuse); however, reader Hal made an interesting point in one of his comments: These companies – and the public – are undoubtedly going to closely watch Rihanna’s steps. Refraining from keeping company with Brown and becoming a strong anti-violence advocate would probably do more for her public image than forgiving him.

Yet, that’s not really how life works, is it? If Rihanna loves Brown, and truly feels he has it in him to not do this again, is it rational to expect her to shun him and start an anti-violence crusade for the sake of a CoverGirl endorsement? I don’t think so.

In the end, Rihanna is going to have to work through this at her own pace, using her own judgment and hopefully some professional guidance (i.e. counseling), and Brown is going to have to demonstrate consistently good behavior before people will believe he’s sincere with his apologies.

Three Rihanna/Chris Brown posts in one week. I am done.

Image Credit: Bob Xu per these Creative Commons License Attributions.

 


Comments


View Comments / Leave a Comment

This post currently has 2 comments.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.

Trackbacks

From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (February 28, 2009)

PMolinero (March 1, 2009)

myln (March 1, 2009)

HappinessisBetter (March 1, 2009)

From Psych Central's Alicia Sparks:
» It’s Time To Focus On Yourself, Amy Winehouse - Celebrity Psychings (March 2, 2009)

MMarquit (March 2, 2009)

Kristen King (March 2, 2009)






    Last reviewed: 3 Jun 2011

APA Reference
Sparks, A. (2009). Rihanna Is Reportedly Working Toward Reconciling With Chris Brown. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 17, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/celebrity/2009/02/rihanna-is-reportedly-working-toward-reconciling-with-chris-brown/

 

 

Subscribe to this Blog: Feed

Recent Comments
  • Laura Bzowy: Forgetful_Man, I AM NOT A PRODUCT. Wise words indeed. Something that a lot of us have forgotten lately,...
  • Negrodamus: If it’s on a digital median it’s not yours and never will be, privacy and the right to it is...
  • Forgetful Man: I think you can put away the tinfoil beanie for the time being, but it’s understandable to be...
  • Laura Bzowy: Ken, I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your partner. I am glad to know that you chose...
  • Ken: Your post is a powerful message. It will be 4 years ago this November 3 that I discovered my partner had taken...
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!