Thinking Errors: 7 Signs You Are Communicating All Wrong

By Támara Hill, MS • 5 min read

communicating photoHow do you communicate with those you care about, your co-workers, and your friends? Do you show them different sides of yourself or are you always the same person? Do you believe that there are rules to communication? Many of my clients simply believe that communication does not entail a host of different skills but should only consist of talking. What many of them fail to realize is that communication is often influenced by internal thoughts as well as body language. Both of these things either contribute to or detract from the conversation. Even more, poor communication skills are to blame for miscommunication, arguments, and confusion. 

Continue reading… »

The Therapeutic Relationship: 7 Things That Help It Stand

By Támara Hill, MS • 6 min read

office photoWhen you think of therapy what comes to mind? A couch and a shrink? A stern psychiatrist who sits protected behind a desk while asking you or your loved one multiple questions? Do you think of a cold, dark office or an overly positive office with positive quotes all over the place? However you think of therapy, there has been something in your life or something said that has influenced the way you perceive therapy. All of your perceptions of therapists has a great deal to do with how you view therapy. It also could have something to do with your own experience or someone else’s experience. Either way, I want to debunk what you think therapy is and help you develop a more realistic, healthy view.

Continue reading… »

Triangulation: The Trap Of The Problematic Person

By Támara Hill, MS • 6 min read

Have you ever heard of the term “triangulate” or “triangulation?” If not, that’s okay because it’s typically a concept used in and mainly used in trauma-informed therapy. The term is typically used to describe an individual who creates drama, trouble, and confusion using 3 or more people in a situation. I’m sure you have had experiences with many family members, friends, and possibly even your own children that might help you understand this concept better. This article will explain triangulation and help you explore the problems that result from someone who engages in this behavior. You must know that there are some people who are greatly unaware of the fact that they are indeed triangulating you and others involved in a specific situation. However, there are also those who intentionally create confusion as a means of controlling others in a passive way.

Continue reading… »

Communication: 10 Comforting Things To Say To Someone With Mental Illness

By Támara Hill, MS • 7 min read
talking photo

Photo credit: ddalki3003 (Pixabay)

Last week we discussed the worst things to ever say to someone with a mental illness. Many viewers commented on what their personal experiences have been and how someone’s words simply tore them apart, confused them, hurt them, or even empowered them in the long run. What we say to someone who is struggling with something has a great deal to do with our knowledge-base, belief system, life perspective, and ability to care for someone. What we say also has a lot to do with how we have been treated when we have needed help. We are social animals who learn by experience. What we say and do has most likely been learned from some early experience in development. Sadly, we rarely consider the impact we have on someone with the words we use. But in some cases, if a person is taught what to say to someone who is struggling, they can change their perspective and ultimately how they communicate with the sufferer.

Continue reading… »

Frustration: 10 Worst Things To Say To Someone With Mental Illness

By Támara Hill, MS • 6 min read

pointing finger photoIt’s not easy living with a mental health condition or someone who is suffering from mental health challenges, especially when it is severe or chronic. It’s even harder trying to get others to understand what it feels like to struggle or what it feels like to watch a loved one struggle. Until you experience mental illness (either yourself or through someone else), you have no idea how sensitive everyone is and how important it is to be careful with what you say.

Have you ever experienced depression or know someone who has? What has been your self-talk (things you say to yourself to help yourself overcome the depressed mood) or things that you have said to others who appear depressed? Perhaps you make statements such as “cheer up!” “It will get better” or “you won’t be depressed forever.” Do you think such statements are helpful? It wasn’t until I became a therapist and started working with families and young children that I learned what should and should not be said to someone who is struggling with a mental health condition.

Continue reading… »

38 Tips For Finding Ways to Relax

By Támara Hill, MS • 2 min read
relaxing photo

Photo by Greyerbaby (Pixabay)

This past week I met with a few of my former colleagues and we ended up discussing the various ways we tend to de-stress over the weekend. I thought many of the suggestions shared were great and wanted to share them with you!

Continue reading… »

What Dr. Martin Luther King Has Provided For Mental Health

By Támara Hill, MS • 1 min read
MLK Memorial

Photo credit: angela n.


As you read the headline I’m sure you questioned what relevance Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr serves to the discussion of severe or untreated mental health. Rarely do we ever hear people emphasize the importance of following the example of Dr. King in our “fight” against society’s lack of knowledge about severe and untreated mental illness. But Dr. King embodied so many sophisticated qualities that add such a rich tapestry of cultural legacy and inheritance to my own life and society in general.

Continue reading… »

Burnout: The Overworked Mental Health Professional

By Támara Hill, MS • 5 min read
Andrew Richards

Andrew Richards

Have you ever heard of the terms “burnout,”  “compassion fatigue,” or “secondary traumatic stress?” If not, you’ll soon find out what these terms mean in this article. Each week we discuss issues specific to parents, families, caregivers, and individuals who are living with or helping someone with a mental health condition. But this week, we’ll talk a bit about the mental health professional and the challenges many helpers face. The challenges that mental health professionals face can ultimately affect the type of service you receive. This doesn’t mean that the professional is incapable of helping you, but it does mean that skill level can be affected. You should be aware of how compassion fatigue affects someone you are working closely with. 

Continue reading… »

How To Spot A Bad Therapist: 10 Major Signs

By Támara Hill, MS • 3 min read


Dr Viktor Frankl, Logotherapist and author of Man’s Search For Meaning, coined the term “iatrogenic neurosis” to describe an illness “caused” by or made worse by a provider of healthcare. It’s hard to imagine that a healthcare provider, specifically a mental health professional, can make an illness worse. How is it possible for a professional to create more problems for a client seeking help?

If I were to quiz you on the 10 worst signs of a bad therapist would you know what they are? What did you like about them or dislike? It’s often difficult for people to decipher a good therapist from a bad therapist until something unethical happens. 

Continue reading… »

10 Things That Cloak Incompetent Therapists

By Támara Hill, MS • 5 min read

When I meet with clients and their families, I often hear the following comment over and over again: “I did not like the previous therapist.” A barrage of negatives often follows this statement such as “she was controlling,” “he was crazy,” or “she did not help me.” It can be difficult to find a good therapist because it takes time. A therapist who is capable of understanding you and your needs, makes you feel comfortable and not judged, and who can step into your complicated situations and guide you into deeper insight, is worth every penny or time spent in therapy. Each therapist has a different life course, educational course, and calling. Not all therapists have the capability to be effective. We are all made differently and every experience has a way of shaping who we will ultimately become, how we will see life, and how well we can help our clients see the issues in their lives as well. The question I encourage you to ask yourself throughout this article is “what makes a therapist helpful or detrimental to a client?”

Continue reading… »

Mental Health In A Failed American System

Check out Tamara Hill's
book, Mental Health In A Failed American System!

Subscribe to this Blog: Feed

Recent Comments
  • Támara Hill, MS: Hi Charles, Thanks for your comment. I’d like to challenge you on something. You mentioned...
  • Charles: I’ve been scouring the Internet to understand my boyfriend. We’ve been together for 3 years and...
  • Brenda SLC: Thank you for your information on the 6 signs of a pathological liar. I have been a relationship for 5...
  • Támara Hill, MS: You’re welcome Puns. Thanks for your comment!
  • puns: your article helped me to know about this otherwise i was in utter confusion. my husband is pathological lier....
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code

Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!