A new Finnish study was released this Thursday indicating that adults who are victims of workplace bullying are more likely to be prescribed antidepressants. The study was released by BMJ. What was particularly striking was that the witnesses of workplace bullying were also adversely affected, ABC news highlighted that the study indicated that
Even witnessing bullying can have health effects, according to the study. Men and women who observed workplace bullying were one and a half to two times as likely to need similar medications, reflecting true, medically confirmed mental problems.
When discussing bullying among young people I stress the role of the bystanders to become upstanders, intervening on the behalf of the victim in a myriad of ways: expressing sympathy towards the victim, standing up to the bully, or seeking adult help. Yet, as we shift our focus to bullying beyond childhood and adolescents, I wonder where are the bystanders?
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Very good information. Spot on. I am currently involved in a wrongful termination lawsuit against a nasty bully.
I am very sorry for what ya’ll have gone through. Some of these low life jerks who find pleasure in bullying do so because they can and because they may just be high on narcissism, or in malignant narcissism and in psychopathy. Take a look at Robert Hare’s book Snakes in Suits: when psychopaths go to work. Also, for future victims, record the harassment. And, learn the EEOC policies. Your workplace is legally liable for bullying and the creation of a hostile environment. . Learn the process and follow it doggedly, to the end.
I tried to tattle on a guy to the manager once after he said something inappropriate to me that was loudly directed at an entry level employee sitting a few feet away. The manager played it down, and the jerk somehow believed it was me and walked by my cubicle glaring at me menacingly for two weeks straight.
How would anyone know he was glaring at me? If you report that someone is giving you screwy looks they will deny it. It’s often done behind the everyones back in a way that is hard to report.
I think you bring up a common dilema: how do you bring up inappropriate conduct that no one else views but you? I would – if possible – try to frame the “tattling” as how it’s affecting your ability to do your best work. It, unfortunately, may take something a bit more tangible than a glare.
As for bystanders, I would suggest letting your colleague know what the manager did was inappropriate and encouraging them to report it to the appropriate person when they feel ready.
These are difficult dilemmas and no easy answers but we should collectively starting thinking of some!
Many of these jerks work nonverbally. They count on behaviors that are subtle. Videotape him.
I had been bullied for years in school, probably most of it out of a teacher’s sight.
When I got into the real world and my first time job, I was told about this one fellow who was difficult. I had no trouble with him until, in the privacy of my office, he patted me on the head. My heel accidentally hit his shin, shall we say.
With continued abuse from him and his reports of my aggressiveness, I was asked in go into counseling. Great idea! Have survived for years with that support.
But he continued to do the secret bullying. I got back at him at least once leaving my coworkers confused. Several years later, I found a Halloween card that I never sent him. It’s just too good to send to that jerk.
“For Halloween, let’s go as a horse.”
“I’ll be the front end…”
“And you just be yourself.”
Of course, as good as that company was, it would have trouble getting rid of him, connected as he was, through marriage to a prominent family.
But a year or two after I left for another life, as good as that one was, excepting him, the company laid off 1/4 to 1/3 of their employees. I KNOW he took early retirement – from what, I’ll never understand.
I started a job in the health service 12 months ago and was instantly aware of the hostility in the room where I worked. No-one made eye contact with me, I wasn’t included in conversations and oddly I thought, I was told by my colleagues that there was no work for me. I asked the supervisor why I was employed if there was no work for me and she was surprised I wasn’t being given work by my colleagues. So she arranged for me to just pick it up instead of asking for it. When I did that I was telephoned by a colleague and told in no uncertain terms to put the work back because it was her ‘overtime’. At the same time as this behaviour was going on, they kept opening the window directly behind me. It was November, snowing, windy etc and I was literally freezing at my desk. Any attempts by me to close the window were simply reversed because someone else would silently open it. I was puzzled as to why I was being singled out and then the real issue became blatantly apparent. My name was visible on everyone’s PC, and it’s a foreign name and one of the women in particular then began a torrent of verbal abuse and filthy language relating to my particular ethnic identity. I put up with it for several weeks because I was so shocked at the blatancy of it, the directness of it and the fact that none of them seemed to care if they were caught. I eventually became ill with pneumonia and had to be taken by ambulance directly to hospital. My assignment was ended because I couldn’t give a specific date of my return to work, apart from saying I would need a week or so. I was so ill that I couldn’t even think about it all until a week or so later. Then I emailed the Chief Exec of the hospital and told her word for word what had been going on. A formal enquiry was held but of course I knew from the start that I had no evidence and the bullies would all stick together, so nothing would come of it. But I couldn’t have rested if I hadn’t made sure the Chief Exec herself was made aware of what some of her staff were getting up to and that some people are not frightened to speak out. I simply told her that I’m not a liar, but that I know some of her staff are and that although I no longer work there, I wasn’t the problem. The problem still remains within her workforce and would likely happen again. And I suggested for the safety of other members of staff, that she think about installing CCTV in the offices. If I ever found myself in such a hostile environment again I’d have no problem with turning on the video function of my mobile phone and recording the conversations. I’d make damned sure I had evidence. Those people involved will now have a note on their employment records of a racial abuse issue being formally investigated. So I’m happy I reported them.
Bullying in the Workplace, the Federal Gov’t Workplace. There are laws/policies in place for a multitude of actions against workplace violence and treatment of co-workers plus supervisors treatment of their employees. I was the victim of a 55 year old female supervisor, I’m 61, and the supervisor’s supervisor is a female who happens to be the Mgr of the office. 1st day at work, I’d transferred from another agency for the promotion. Somehow that promotion got finagled to keep me at the lowest level possible so they’d not have to spend more money. 2 hours on the 1st of being there I’m being threatened with “if I catch you playing around on yahoo or the internet I’ll write you up so fast it’ll make your head spin”. I’m sitting there thinking “I’m not really hearing this am I”? Two months later I come back from a one week training session where I spent an extra 5 hours of my time, should have been paid 45 hours for that week. The super went ballistic. Veins bulged from her neck, saliva projectiles flew from her mouth as she yelled, her face turns red, she bends over in a threatening posture towards me yelling like a wild animal. I’m so PTSD’d that I contemplate jumping through the window. I am a US Army Veteran and this was my 1st episode of a flashback with these hostilities. My mind is attempting to process thoughts that are flying through so fast I can’t grasp anything to make sense. This goes on for like 20 minutes until I simply say “get out of my office” as I just didn’t know what else to do. She left and I was shaking so violently, not from anger but from trauma. This must sound crazy but it’s factual. I filed a grievance against the super. It started with a meeting in my supervisor’s manager’s office. My super was the manager’s “pet employee” so as you might imagine it went nowhere. They’d concluded the details, judgement, and their minds were made up that it was my fault. Remember now I’d only been there 2 months. I drop the grievance feeling sorry for the supervisor. Knowing full well she’s going to slowing, in time, get back to verbally assaulting me all over again. She did, and I filed another grievance. They bombarded me with work tasks outside my job description which disallowed taking care of my own job. Since I was the “new guy” all in the office treated me very oddly. I’d say about 30 events of the most wicked, smart aleck, sassy, crude, disrespectful, condescending, rude, cocky remarks made towards me left me drained and no sleep at night, walking on egg shells at the office, and just sort of in a daze. I could not believe this “grown, mature, adult, female super” was verbally assaulting me like she did. Ultimately she placed me with a man to help him one day, I hurt myself, as I’d been hurt in Iraq, and I got hurt again helping this guy. It eventually caused me not to be able to do the essential functions of my job therefore I lost my job. Disability discrimination, I might be able to get that but I’m drained emotionally from this insane event. It’s beyond all I’ve ever been through trying to understand the insanity of a supervisor going nuts and insane verbally attacking me. About 200 employees in the workforce and many of them tell me this supervisor has always been a b***h. Always forcefully attacking other as if that’s the way she scares them into submission. My thoughts as of late are “wonder if she and her supervisor , both females, feel any remorse or compassion, or anything knowing they caused me to lose my job of 15 years and wanting to work another 5 years”. Do they feel anything having destroyed my job? If I caused anyone to lose their job I’d feel horrible and try someway somehow to find a job for them. I simply can’t believe this even happened. I’m no whimp and I could have physically shoved this female around but I’m not built that way. My character and inner substance is of the utmost in integrity. Honor and dignity is how I treat people, even those who treat me badly I still behave around them with decency.
Sometimes a lawyer is the best option. Mobbing is the word whew bullies form alliances.
I can totally understand your experience. Bullying like that leaves you traumatised and trying to work out if these people really are human or not. The fact they’ve verbally assaulted you is one shock to the system, the second shock is knowing they feel safe and secure enough in their work environment to be able to do it and get away with it.
When you’re a sociable and polite person yourself, it’s very hard to understand that not everyone behaves with the same integrity – that’s shock number 3.
I no longer go into new environments being the normal friendly person that I am. I’m really not interested in wasting my time or breath on anyone so I don’t answer questions about my background, my family etc. And if I’m spoken to like s*** I pretend I’m deaf and say “Sorry can you repeat that please, I didn’t quite catch what you said.” And I make them repeat the abusive comment or shrivel up. The other thing I now do is if someone gets nasty with me, I stare straight into their eyes whilst remaining silent. If they ask what I’m looking at I tell them “I’m just trying to work out what it is you’re trying to communicate.”
.I used to with for a health care company that had every solution you listed in place. I still was harassed by the manager’s pets. Another group was clearly bullying another CO-worker. I and a third CO-worker tried to intervene as bystanders to little result mostly BC our manager had made it very clear that hewasn’t going to hold anyone responsible for negative actions. The only thing you could get in trouble for was not appear ING to be happy at work. The irony is that we were teaching an anti-bullying workshop in schools highlighting the role of the bystander! Eventually, I spoke to the victim and agreed to be a witness for her to confront her bullies. When we told the supervisor of our plan, he actually decide to do something for once and we got it resolved. When I left there was nobody left to help those who might needed it. HR is so removed, they will never even know what goes on BC the manager intentionally keeps the department isolated so he can control what Regional thinks of his department and what his department thinks of regional.
I’ve been a bystander twice, once with some authority and once without any. Both times I was unable to stop the bullying.
The first time, I was a consultant on a group project, and the one of the groups fractured with 4 people ganging up on the 2 foreigners. I didn’t find out about it until late, and did what I could. However the majority group was stuck in their self-righteousness view of the situation that the could not see they were doing something wrong. I also appealed to the manager, and got nowhere.
The second time, I was working as a consultant for a group. The manager decided that one project was behind schedule and that the solution was to work all day and night (as much as feasible) until it was completed. Due to my position, I was outside the situation with some of the manager’s ear. The reason given to me for this schedule was that the employees had not been working hard and this was their just reward. At first I watched things happen, then I started to plead the case of the over-worked employees. I flat out told the manager to let the employees have a break, and he said no and that they deserved it. There was nobody besides the manager that I could appeal to.
On the topic where are the bystanders, I hypothesize that we are there, and many of us do stand up against bad behavior.
But in my experience, I have been ignored by the people who have influence in the situation, because those people have bought into a perspective that justifies the bad behavior.
We rarely hear about the people who witness bullying. When we do, it is sometimes said that witnesses can suffer as much as the victims. In the second bullying instance, I suffered horribly… the situation caused the onset of mental illness.