Archives for Acceptance


5 Ways to Bounce Back from Everyday Stress


It happens to most of us every day. And most everyday stressors are things that we can handle fairly easily if we just remember a few simple strategies:

1. Engage your vagus nerve.

The vagus nerve is a cranial nerve that wanders throughout the body. Stimulation of the vagus nerve tends to slow your heart rate and create a calming response.

The easiest way to engage the vagus?

Take a deep breath.

Both moving your...
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Are You Missing a Piece of Your Happiness?

Sometimes I don’t feel very good about myself.

In fact, I get depressed.

It’s a bit embarrassing to admit since I am a therapist, you know.

But it’s true.

Like many people – maybe you included - I've had a lifelong struggle with the inner critic that takes up space in my head and a lot of my emotional energy.

Of course, since it’s been a lifelong struggle, I've also been on a lifelong quest to find some answer to feel better about myself. Let me tell you just a little bit of my story.

I want you to think carefully as we go through the story and see if any of these steps describes where you are now.
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3 Quotes for the Broken Hearted – Bouncing Back from Heartbreak

Broken hearts. We've all had them, or will at some time. I hope these quotes for the broken-hearted will help you bounce back from heartbreak in the most healing way possible.

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell." ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

Remember that bouncing back from heartache is very much like bouncing back from other pain in our lives – you have to accept the loss in your life.

But remember this too: accepting something does not mean you have to like it.

One of the things I like about this quote for the broken-hearted from Edna St. Vincent Millay is that she has accepted the pain that accompanies heart break: I miss you like hell.

She is not using flowery, romantic language about the loss. She accepts it, but calls it like it is – a hole that she falls into every night, a hellish pain.
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5 Ways to Battle Burnout

Burn-out \ˈbərn-ˌau̇t\ : exhaustion of physical or emotional strength or motivation usually as a result of prolonged stress or frustration.

Feeling exhausted? Numb? Helpless? It may not just be from the end of a long school year or stress on the job, you might actually be suffering from a case of burnout.

3 dimensions of burnout

Most of the research on burnout has been in the domain of work, but burnout can occur in just about any area of our lives. The leading researcher in the field, Berkeley professor Christina Maslach, has defined three dimensions of burnout:
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Depressed? Try This One Simple Tip

Depression is insidious.

You feel sad, you lose your concentration, nothing is interesting to you anymore, and – to top it all off – your thoughts become stuck in an endless loop of self-criticism.

There are many ways to address depression. Researchers interested in decreasing depression and increasing resilience have found that using a number of intentional activities creates positive emotions and helps reduce feelings of depression.

The first step, though, is to work toward letting go of the critical rumination going on in your head. Why? Because it is very difficult to even consider pursuing intentional activities with thoughts such as:

“It won’t help.”

“Why even bother?”

“I’ll just screw it up.”

These thoughts make your mood bleaker and keep you on the sofa rather than feeling up for trying a new activity or intervention.

So, what to do?
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Bounce Back by Using These 3 Simple Ideas

You know that chirping little critic you hear inside your head sometimes? Most of us have one. It’s that voice that says, “You’ll never be good enough.”

“Why even try? You know you can’t do it.”

“You’re such a hypocrite (loser, slob, dimwit, etc.)”

This voice - this inner critic - is often the main obstacle we face when trying to bounce back in life.

But that inner critic loses its audience and it's power when we do something that most of us aren't very good at: showing ourselves compassion.

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3 Ways to Love Thyself as Thy Neighbor

Did you catch that switcheroo in the title of this post? Usually, it’s “love thy neighbor as thyself.”

But in our society, we tend to reverse that. We find it easier to be compassionate toward others than toward ourselves.

Being nice to others is a good thing, right? Yes, but it begs the question: Why can’t we be nicer to ourselves?

That Inner Critic

You know that chirping little critic you hear inside your head sometimes? Most of us have one. It’s that voice that says,

“You’ll never be good enough.”

“Why even try? You know you can’t do it.”

“You’re such a hypocrite (loser, slob, dimwit, etc.)”

Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion and a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, says this voice probably developed as a means to keep us safe, a basic need that we all have.

Also, she posits that we may think we need this voice to keep us motivated. After all, wouldn't we just be completely out of control if we didn’t talk to ourselves this way?

You know the answer to that. We don’t need that inner critic to keep us in line.
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