Archive for January, 2012

Giving Up vs. Giving In: Is There A Difference?

Monday, January 30th, 2012

Let’s expand a little bit on the idea of acceptance that I wrote about in a recent post. In that article, I talked about how important it is to accept the reality of the adversity you may be facing.learning to let go

Now let’s talk about the aspect of acceptance that has to do with letting go. Many times when I talk about letting go, I can see people’s eyes start to roll back in their heads.

“Oh great, I’ve fought and fought to keep my house from going into foreclosure, and now she wants me to give up?”

Herein lies the common misunderstanding: letting go is not so much about giving up as it is about giving in. It’s not about just standing by, doing nothing, as your house goes into foreclosure. But it is about giving in to the reality of your current situation and letting go of judgments and expectations you might have about the outcome.

3 Steps to A New Perspective

Tuesday, January 24th, 2012

cloud with a silver liningYour boss calls you into his office. Smiling, you take a seat. You’re sure that long-awaited promotion is finally here and your heart races with excitement.

Instead, your boss sighs, shakes his head, and says, “I have to tell you something.”

Suddenly, your excitement turns to dread.

“I’m sorry,” he says slowly, “but we’re going to have to lay you off.”

How do you get through this kind of shock and loss?

Take the First Step Toward Bouncing Back: Acceptance

Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

accept keyAcceptance.

We hear this word, or a version of it, all the time.

“You’re just going to have to accept it.”

“I think he’s having a hard time accepting what happened.”

But what does acceptance mean in the language of resiliency? It’s a broad topic, one we’ll be discussing frequently on this blog. For now, though, I want to look at the more common concept of acceptance – as the opposite of denial.*

8 Intentional Activities May Increase Resiliency and Adjustment to Chronic Illness

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

increasing resiliencyA new approach to increasing resiliency around the onset of a chronic illness is showing promise in a recent research study.

Judith Moskowitz at the University of California, San Francisco has developed a program that is aimed toward helping people who are newly diagnosed with a chronic disorder to adjust by increasing their positive emotions.

The intervention, known as IRISS (intervention for those recently informed of their seropositive status), worked with HIV-positive subjects through one-to-one sessions to help them learn “intentional activities” that promote positive feelings.

While the study had a small sample with only one type of chronic illness, Moskowitz believes the intervention may be found to help people with other types of persistent disorders as well.

Early Resilience Research Helps Now

Thursday, January 5th, 2012

resilienceResilience: The Beginning

Emmy Werner and Ruth Smith sifted through the mounds of data from their longitudinal study and noticed something peculiar. Of the children born on Kauai in 1955, there were a group of them that were at high risk for doing poorly as they grew older.

It wasn’t this group that caught the attention of the researchers, though. It was a subset of this group. The subset, about thirty-percent of the high-risk kids, was doing well. Really well.

They checked the data again. Yes, all of the high-risk children were facing the same types of adversity: parental issues including low education, behavioral health issues, and discord; health problems; poverty. And yet some of the children did very well while others did not.



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Recent Comments
  • anon: I’ve been trying to do this for ages…sometimes I find it really difficult to let it go, though,...
  • Ampage: The problem isn’t just that “I know tomorrow is going to be different”. It’s not....
  • bob: I know this post is old, but when looking for some answers I found this is somewhat helpful but not necessarily...
  • Happy chick: Thank you for a very interesting article and some great tips to get started on acceptance. I have been...
  • Darlene Lancer, LMFT: I call “contingent self-esteem” “other esteem,” which is the problem...
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