General

Sometimes resilience means letting go: The last post at Bounce Back!

One of the important components of resilience that I am learning to practice more and more is that of acceptance. Taking in my experiences as they come and allowing them to happen. Sometimes things need to change and I take action and other times things are out of my control and I have learned to sit with the experience - whether it's comfortable or uncomfortable - and keep moving on.

My experience at this point in my...
Continue Reading

General

Let Go of Self-Esteem: 4 Ideas to Truly Feel Better About Yourself

People come to me in my private practice and request that I help them build their self-esteem so they can be more resilient in life.

I think they’re on the wrong track.

While having a healthy amount of self-esteem can be helpful, there are aspects of self-esteem – and the pursuit of self-esteem – that can be harmful and hinder your ability to bounce back in life.

Researchers call this “contingent self-esteem.”

When we base our worth on something...
Continue Reading

General

Need to Bounce Back RIGHT NOW? Try these 4 things

If you’re in a spot where you feel like you need to bounce back right now, here’s what I want you to do:

 1. Take a deep breath.


Now, before you roll your eyes, let’s look at why this is important.

Taking a deep breath does a couple of very vital things for you.

- It stimulates your vagus nerve by expanding your diaphragm. The vagus nerve is that long, winding nerve that starts in your brain and...
Continue Reading

General

Want to Feel Better? 11 Free Resources to Get You On Your Way

Some of the best and brightest researchers who study how to increase your well-being have loads of free, practical, helpful information just waiting for you out there in cyberspace.

To make things a little easier for you, I’ve rounded up a few of my favorites. These are people and research that have rocked my world and I know they’ll do the same for you. Look for the free stuff!

Struggling with shame? Brene Brown’s...

Continue Reading

General

Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking

I am a happiness grump.

Perhaps I come by it honestly as my parents often referred to me as “Little Chief Thundercloud” when I was a small child.

Nonetheless, I enjoy a bit of happiness as much as the next person. But the aspect of happiness that has me particularly grumpy is the popular social notion that one should always be happy.

You Must Be Happy Now


If you don’t believe me, visit one of...
Continue Reading

General

Break Your Resolutions

You heard me.

Break those resolutions.

They're not doing you any good.

Why?

Resolutions inevitably set you up for failure.

Think about it: Resolutions are usually created around something you have difficulty with, anyway, like exercising more or eating less. When you create a resolution, you take something that is already hard for you to do and pile on more expectations and more weight (so to speak) on the outcome.

Now what happens if you're not able to keep your...
Continue Reading

Perspective

How to Make Your Holidays Not Suck

It’s that time of year again.

The Holidays.

For many people, the end of the year festivities are a time of joy and warmth, a time for nostalgia, and a time to celebrate with the loved ones in our lives.

But what time is it for others?

Those troubled by ugly memories of holidays past rather than ones filled with light and love.

Those who with the dreaded family get-togethers that you really can’t get out of...
Continue Reading