I'm no fan of New Year's resolutions. Either they make people feel pressured to create a fresh start, or excited for that fresh start, only to be discouraged fairly soon after. They're about turning a critical eye on yourself, rather than an appreciative one. The truth is, change can be overrated. Maybe what you really need to do this year is a better job at accepting yourself and the life you already have. Here's how to start.
As a therapist, I'm here to tell you: Sometimes it's them, and not you. And sometimes they're great therapists, but not for you. So I'm also here to tell you: When it's not a match, give yourself permission to end the relationship (just like you'd do with any other relationship that's not working.) But how do you know if it's just not working, or if you're not working hard enough to improve your own life?
Sometimes a marriage starts out strong, and then flaws begin to materialize. This is completely normal. But like many things, if left unaddressed, marital imperfections can start to wreak havoc on your lives. So here are some ideas for proper care and maintenance of your marriage. Think of it like this: the 5,000-mile checkup; 10,000 mile checkup; and so on. You do it for your car. Your marriage is way more valuable than your automobile. Here goes!
For many, the holidays are hard because of all those images of happy families. The rest of the year, maybe you're able to just bury yourself in your own life and pursuits. Often, you're able to forget that other have what you want. But at the holidays, the truth can be stark, and painful. Maybe it's that you've had to cut your family off because they're toxic; maybe they're still in your life but they're critical, cruel, or neglectful; maybe you feel you can never do right by them, and this is the one time of year you see them face to face and have to be reminded. So how to cope with the holiday season that's nearly upon us? Here are some thoughts.
You love your kids; you mean to do the best for them. But you find yourself indulging them far too often. It's a terrible term--the idea that you'll "spoil" this cherished little human of yours--but the reality is, overindulged children aren't well-prepared for life. So if you want to produce a kid who's hard-working, grateful, and gracious, where do you start (and what do you stop)?
The steps are easy; it's the repetition that matters. Make these habits and your relationship will be better for it.
In the past week, like many others, I saw that Jim Carrey's former girlfriend killed herself after their break-up. Unlike many others, I sat across from a teenager thinking of suicide after his girlfriend had broken up with him, and he told me that one of his friends had just hung himself after being rejected by "the girl of his dreams." Killing yourself may seem like an appealing way to end your pain, and possibly even pass it along to the person who hurt you. But before you get too far down that road, read this.