Complicated Grief: How to Get Unstuck

By Holly Brown, LMFT

shutterstock_143210572All grief is painful, and it never feels simple.  But complicated grief is its own category: It’s when time is moving on, but you’re not; the loss and sadness won’t let go.  Maybe it still doesn’t even feel real to you, no matter how much time has passed.

Here are some thoughts on how to begin to pull out of the quicksand.

Continue reading… »



How to Find Contentment (Rather than Happiness)

By Holly Brown, LMFT

shutterstock_146627852Sure, we all want to feel happy.  But seeking contentment is a better goal.  Happiness is a mood state, inevitably fleeting, while contentment is more sustainable.  Here are some thoughts on how to find it.

Continue reading… »



How to Be the Parent You Wish You Had

By Holly Brown, LMFT

shutterstock_195655586Some people learned how to parent by experiencing good parenting.  Some have learned the opposite (what not to do) because of the family they grew up in.   But there are particular challenges for those who were abused or neglected, once they have their own children.

Here are some ideas of how to face those challenges and become the parent you wish you’d had.

Continue reading… »



Standing Up for Yourself

By Holly Brown, LMFT

shutterstock_138511955It’s not an easy thing to do, especially if your parents never modeled it for you or if you’re in relationships where you tend to feel devalued.  But assertiveness is a skill you can learn, no matter how old you are.  Here’s how to start.

Continue reading… »



Can a Narcissist Change?

By Holly Brown, LMFT
table

Many of us are involved with narcissists (people who have difficulty empathizing with others, and behave accordingly, often manipulatively.)  The narcissist may be your parent, your significant other, even your child.  In order to decide what your options are in this relationship, you’re wondering: Can a narcissist change?

Continue reading… »



How to be Present

By Holly Brown, LMFT

shutterstock_159921983In this social media-saturated, smart phone world, it’s harder than ever to be present.  And healthy relationships require presence.  Giving someone your full and undivided attention makes them feel valued and secure.  If we never turn off our phone and really focus, how can we expect our children to do so?

Here are some ideas for how to be present, and how to model that for your children.

Continue reading… »



Healing Past Hurts, Opening Up Again

By Holly Brown, LMFT

shutterstock_194030540For some people, opening up comes easily (maybe too easily–which leaves them prey to manipulation or rejection or worse.)  Some people never open up at all.  The healthiest approach is the middle ground: Finding a person who is worth trusting, and then taking the emotional risk of opening up.  In many cases, the best way to heal old pain (including childhood pain) is to build a healthy, mutual relationship.

Once you’ve determined that a person is worthy of your trust (for more on how to make this determination, read my post Who Should You Trust), you might find you’re still holding back.  Here are some ideas on how to break that cycle so that you can create connections that heal past hurt, instead of reactivating it.

Continue reading… »



Who Should You Trust?

By Holly Brown, LMFT

shutterstock_161941682Once you’ve been burned (especially if it’s by a parent in your early life), it can be hard to open up again.  In some cases, with some people, you really shouldn’t open up.  But how do you know who you should trust, and who you shouldn’t?  And how can you learn to trust yourself to make that determination?

Continue reading… »



5 Tips for More Effective Parenting

By Holly Brown, LMFT

shutterstock_177053420These are equal opportunity parenting tips.  They apply no matter the age of your kids (be they toddlers, teenagers, somewhere in between, or even adult children.)  Once you’re a parent, you can’t really quit or retire, so might as well keep doing it better.

Continue reading… »



Instant Self-Esteem Boosters

By Holly Brown, LMFT

shutterstock_159890216Maybe you’ve been in a slump lately.  Maybe it’s situational (you lost your job, and the market’s brutal, or are having relationship issues.)  Maybe you’re chronically struggling with self-esteem.  Or maybe I just caught you on a bad day.  For anyone who’s feeling low, these boosters should help.

Continue reading… »



 
 

Subscribe to this Blog: Feed

Recent Comments
  • antiquated homemaker: Dear ME, I read your comments a few times and feel like I could have written the same thing. It...
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: It sounds like you’re saying it’s not a healthy dynamic but that it beats the...
  • ashie: The events that generated the alleged complaints were ones my partner did not witness himself. With his own...
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: Wow, no wonder you’re feeling hurt, confused, and angry. Your (ex)partner seems to be...
  • ashie: I’ve had a strange thing happen recently- one that evoked past abusive relationships and I wonder…...
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!