When Your Ex is a Narcissist

By Holly Brown, LMFT • 2 min read

So you’re no longer romantically involved, but you can’t cut all ties.  Let’s say you have a child together, or property, or some other link that can’t be easily severed.

Here are some thoughts on how to best keep your sanity through it all.

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How to Stay Calm When Your Toddler’s Melting Down

By Holly Brown, LMFT • 2 min read

shutterstock_93516394I’ve got some pretty recent experience with this one, as my almost three-year-old has been alternating between intensely delightful and intensely–well, intense.

This can apply to your toddler’s tantrums (which tend to be brief) or meltdowns (which are protracted bouts of screaming and oppositional behavior that can go on for minutes to–worst case scenarios–more than an hour.)  What’s key is focusing not on what they’re doing, but on what you should be doing yourself.

Challenging, I know, but here  are some ideas to get you on a better path.

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5 Year-Ending Questions to Ask Yourself

By Holly Brown, LMFT • 2 min read

As one year ends, it’s important to take stock. That New Year’s resolution will never stick if you don’t.   So here are some questions to ask yourself about your mental health, your relationships, and your future.  Ready, set, go! (as my almost three-year-old loves to say.)

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Holiday Survival Guide

By Holly Brown, LMFT • 1 min read

shutterstock_26490736If you’re one of the many people who goes into a downward spiral during the holiday season (or if you love someone who does), this one’s for you.

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Our Children: Our Reflection?

By Holly Brown, LMFT • 2 min read

shutterstock_104434844I think most parents have had this experience: You’re out somewhere and your child (toddler, teenager, anywhere in between) is behaving in a way that you find embarrassing, and that you hope is not reflective of your parenting.  But you feel the shame anyway, and the judgment of others, and you wonder: Is this my fault?  Is my child my reflection?

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How to Stop Comparing and Start Enjoying

By Holly Brown, LMFT • 1 min read

shutterstock_192268793Around the holidays, I notice that people compare themselves more to others.  It’s because this is a time of year when people’s lives seem to be on greater display.  You see other people’s Christmas cards, you see their Facebook and Instagram posts, and all those tidings of comfort and joy can send you down the rabbit hole of depression.

So if you’re getting stuck on the comparison merry-go-round, here’s how to get off.

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Giving Thanks (When It’s Been a Crap Year)

By Holly Brown, LMFT • 1 min read

shutterstock_123420286You might be wondering why I’m even suggesting the idea of gratitude when you’ve had a lousy time of it.

It’s because appreciation beats the alternative: spending your holidays in an extended wallow, reinforcing your helplessness over your life.

If you’re reading, you’re considering. So I hope you’ll read on. This post isn’t about finding a silver lining.  It’s about marshaling your strength so that 2015 treats you better.

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Before You Have an Affair, Read This

By Holly Brown, LMFT • 2 min read

As a couples therapist, I sometimes work with couples recovering from infidelity.  But I also work with individuals who are heading down the slippery slope to having an affair and maybe becoming one of those couples.

There’s a moment (well, a bunch of moments) before that decision is made.  If you’re in a state of indecision, read on.

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Mean Girls: Helping Your Teen Daughter Survive Her Friends

By Holly Brown, LMFT • 2 min read

shutterstock_138187733If you’re the parent of a teen girl, you’ve probably experienced one (or maybe both) of the following two scenarios: watching helplessly as your daughter is hurt by the meanness of other girls; watching helplessly as your daughter inflicted meanness on others.

I have some thoughts about the emotional brutality of female adolescence, and what you, as a parent, can do about it.

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People Pleasers: Please Thyself!

By Holly Brown, LMFT • 2 min read

shutterstock_180170765To thine own self be true–it’s good advice.  But it’s hard to follow if you’ve got strong people-pleasing tendencies.

To be clear, I’m defining a people pleaser as someone who consistently sets their needs aside in favor of doing what other people want, regardless of whether those wants are healthy or fair, or even how important the relationship is to the people pleaser; it’s that the people pleaser can’t help themselves, they just want to avoid all conflict and be seen in a positive light.

So here are some ideas of how to stop putting others first all the time.  

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