Comments on
Tough Love

By Holly Brown, LMFT

When I was growing up, I heard a lot about tough love.  It wasn’t actually in reference to me, or to my sister; it was about my mother’s best friend, who was trying to practice “tough love” with her promiscuous, drug abusing, disrespectful teenage daughter.

The mother went to meetings where she was called an “enabler” of her daughter’s behavior, and was told that the only way to fix the problem was to hold a firm line: If the daughter didn’t follow the rules, she lost all family support.  She needed to suffer the consequences of her actions.  It was the only way she’d learn.

The problem is, tough love didn’t feel much like love–to the daughter, or the mother.  The suffering went on for years, ceaselessly.  But maybe it would have been even worse without that guiding philosophy.  What are the alternatives, anyway?

No Comments to
Tough Love

Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. The comments below begin with the oldest comments first. Click on the last comments page to jump to the most recent comments.

Join the Conversation!

Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines.

Post a Comment:


(Required, will be published)

(Required, but will not be published)

(Optional)

 

Subscribe to this Blog: Feed

Recent Comments
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: I like your quote, too (“stifling borders” is a great way to express what so many...
  • oldblackdog: Lovely advice. Shame cripples so many of us, erodes our potential for joy, and robs society of the...
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: People may or may not be happy with their weight. But I’m not arguing that they should be...
  • 2crudedudes: If you’re happy with your weight, fantastic. But don’t expect the world to cheer you on.
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: Yes, treating yourself well at whatever weight you are is actually motivating in terms of losing...
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!