“I know I shouldn’t attack him,” my client–let’s call her Amanda–sobs.  “Sometimes I just feel so scared that I’m going to lose him, and so alone.  I try to grab onto him but it pushes him away.  It’s because I love him so much.”

I nod encouragingly, trying to keep the tears from my own eyes.  In the world of emotionally focused therapy (EFT), we’ve hit pay dirt.  This is it, what we’ve been working toward for several months.

It’s called a bonding event.  After one partner lets go of the angry defenses and expresses his or her deepest needs in a vulnerable way and the other partner is receptive and emotionally available, the relationship begins its transformation from insecure to secure.

Except this particular bonding event is not going according to plan.

No Comments to
The Good Cholesterol Theory of Marriage

Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. The comments below begin with the oldest comments first. Click on the last comments page to jump to the most recent comments.

Join the Conversation!

Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines.

Post a Comment:


(Required, will be published)

(Required, but will not be published)

(Optional)

 

Subscribe to this Blog: Feed

Recent Comments
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: The first question is “What’s my baseline mood state?” It’s in there.
  • Becky: The first question is not listed.
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: Hadn’t thought of the Mean Girl mentality of the stepmother (she’s the ringleader for...
  • Ted Petrocci: I just watched the trailer from the new Disney movie, Cinderella. Worth the time. The mean girl step...
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: Being able to cheer yourself on is a pretty crucial skill (and I like that you pointed out...
Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!