New parents hear it all the time: “It’s not about you anymore; now it’s all about the kids.”  Selflessness is in.  Selfishness is out.  Got it.

What’s always struck me is that there’s no word in the English language for maintaining a healthy self.  I’d propose one: Self-ness.  After all, if one end of the continuum is selfishness, and the other is selflessness, shouldn’t there be some middle ground?  Perhaps self-ness is that middle ground.

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It’s Not All About the Kids

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Recent Comments
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: Thanks! I thought it was applicable to a variety of situations and relationships.
  • Marine Pat: Love this. These questions can trickle up to everyone you encounter in your life. i see so many that are...
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: The first question is “What’s my baseline mood state?” It’s in there.
  • Becky: The first question is not listed.
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: Hadn’t thought of the Mean Girl mentality of the stepmother (she’s the ringleader for...
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