Relationships Articles

How to be Present

Tuesday, August 26th, 2014

shutterstock_159921983In this social media-saturated, smart phone world, it’s harder than ever to be present.  And healthy relationships require presence.  Giving someone your full and undivided attention makes them feel valued and secure.  If we never turn off our phone and really focus, how can we expect our children to do so?

Here are some ideas for how to be present, and how to model that for your children.


Healing Past Hurts, Opening Up Again

Saturday, August 23rd, 2014

shutterstock_194030540For some people, opening up comes easily (maybe too easily–which leaves them prey to manipulation or rejection or worse.)  Some people never open up at all.  The healthiest approach is the middle ground: Finding a person who is worth trusting, and then taking the emotional risk of opening up.  In many cases, the best way to heal old pain (including childhood pain) is to build a healthy, mutual relationship.

Once you’ve determined that a person is worthy of your trust (for more on how to make this determination, read my post Who Should You Trust), you might find you’re still holding back.  Here are some ideas on how to break that cycle so that you can create connections that heal past hurt, instead of reactivating it.


Who Should You Trust?

Friday, August 22nd, 2014

shutterstock_161941682Once you’ve been burned (especially if it’s by a parent in your early life), it can be hard to open up again.  In some cases, with some people, you really shouldn’t open up.  But how do you know who you should trust, and who you shouldn’t?  And how can you learn to trust yourself to make that determination?


5 Tips for More Effective Parenting

Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

shutterstock_177053420These are equal opportunity parenting tips.  They apply no matter the age of your kids (be they toddlers, teenagers, somewhere in between, or even adult children.)  Once you’re a parent, you can’t really quit or retire, so might as well keep doing it better.


Dealing with Difficult People

Friday, August 8th, 2014

shutterstock_175547297We all have occasional run-ins with the disagreeable and the unreasonable.  But what if it’s become a chronic facet of life?  Here are some thoughts on how to handle your relationships (and yourself)!


Negotiating with Your Teen

Friday, August 1st, 2014

shutterstock_150999815Sometimes parents want to negotiate with their teenagers but aren’t sure how.  We don’t want to be pushovers, but we don’t want to be dictators either.  So where to start?


Should You Cyberstalk Your Teenager?

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

shutterstock_146024162This was a question that came up on my Facebook author page among some mothers who’d read my book, “Don’t Try to Find Me.”  Yes, my novel represents a very particular case but the desire to protect your kids is pretty universal.

Do all teens require online monitoring?  How do you monitor?  And what do you do with what you find out?


5 Tips for Breaking Up

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

shutterstock_101362756This post was inspired by a client of mine who was talking for years (literally) about ending a relationship, and she finally pulled the  trigger.  (Go, you! and you know who you are!)   If you’re having trouble breaking up with someone, here’s how to get it done.


How to Spot a Narcissist

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

tableA lot of people assume narcissists are easy to spot, that they talk obsessively about themselves, for example, or never seem to care what you have to say.  Those are the obvious narcissists.  This post is about the charming narcissists who can fly under the radar until you feel like you’re in too deep to get out.

I’ve written before about how to know you’re involved with a narcissist, and on strategies for handling the narcissist in your life.  This post, hopefully, will help you avoid entanglements with people who could cause you a lot of pain down the line.

It’s the kind of post my characters Rachel and Marley might have benefited from, in my novel “Don’t Try to Find Me” (due out next Tuesday!) And it might be particularly useful for those of you who are currently dating and trying to find a partner.  Maybe you’re on the fence about someone, and this could help you make a decision one way or the other.

When it comes to narcissists, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  Getting out early might be your best move.  Okay, on to the tips:


Teaming Up With Your Spouse

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

workingYou love your spouse, but do you work well together?  Unfortunately, many people find that the answer is no.  This can become painfully evident once we become parents, and suddenly we have to rely on one another in a different way than ever before.

Here are some strategies on how to reduce tension and conflict, and improve teamwork.


 

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