Relationships Articles

Should You Cyberstalk Your Teenager?

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

shutterstock_146024162This was a question that came up on my Facebook author page among some mothers who’d read my book, “Don’t Try to Find Me.”  Yes, my novel represents a very particular case but the desire to protect your kids is pretty universal.

Do all teens require online monitoring?  How do you monitor?  And what do you do with what you find out?


5 Tips for Breaking Up

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

shutterstock_101362756This post was inspired by a client of mine who was talking for years (literally) about ending a relationship, and she finally pulled the  trigger.  (Go, you! and you know who you are!)   If you’re having trouble breaking up with someone, here’s how to get it done.


How to Spot a Narcissist

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

tableA lot of people assume narcissists are easy to spot, that they talk obsessively about themselves, for example, or never seem to care what you have to say.  Those are the obvious narcissists.  This post is about the charming narcissists who can fly under the radar until you feel like you’re in too deep to get out.

I’ve written before about how to know you’re involved with a narcissist, and on strategies for handling the narcissist in your life.  This post, hopefully, will help you avoid entanglements with people who could cause you a lot of pain down the line.

It’s the kind of post my characters Rachel and Marley might have benefited from, in my novel “Don’t Try to Find Me” (due out next Tuesday!) And it might be particularly useful for those of you who are currently dating and trying to find a partner.  Maybe you’re on the fence about someone, and this could help you make a decision one way or the other.

When it comes to narcissists, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  Getting out early might be your best move.  Okay, on to the tips:


Teaming Up With Your Spouse

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

workingYou love your spouse, but do you work well together?  Unfortunately, many people find that the answer is no.  This can become painfully evident once we become parents, and suddenly we have to rely on one another in a different way than ever before.

Here are some strategies on how to reduce tension and conflict, and improve teamwork.


Finding the Right Couples Therapist

Saturday, June 14th, 2014

curlsThis is not the same as finding a “good” couples therapist.  I used to believe in the myth that therapists are either good or bad; now I think that there are some good therapists who are just a mismatch for certain clients.

So how to find the right one?


When to Seek Couples Therapy

Saturday, June 7th, 2014

coupleMost people treat couples therapy as a measure of last resort: Your relationship is completely on the rocks, one or both of you is considering calling it quits.   It’s like dialing 911.

But as I’ve said before, that’s the worst time to start therapy–when you’re feeling hopeless, when one or both of you has little investment in the relationship.  Seeking professional help sooner can make all the difference.

So what is the best time?


How Well Do You Really Know Your Teenager?

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2014

teenIn my novel, “Don’t Try to Find Me” (due out July 8), 14-year-old Marley runs away, leaving her mother Rachel wondering how she missed all the clues.  Did she really know Marley at all? And has Rachel’s oblivion put Marley in harm’s way?

For those answers,  you’ll have the read the book!  But if you have a teenager of your own, here are some ideas of how to assess where you are in your relationship.


Are You A Doormat?

Saturday, May 31st, 2014

sarcasmYes, I went for a provocative title.   I know people are not doormats, but let’s face it, sometimes we all have occasions where we act like it.  But if you find that you’re habitually getting walked on, it might be time to make some changes.

This is actually a companion piece to my last blog, “Do You Hold Grudges?”  An astute reader commented that sometimes he tries to be so open-minded and tolerant (as in, not holding grudges) that he ends up being taken advantage of.  So how do you know when it’s time to be self-protective and assertive in your relationships?

Here are five signs that you’re engaging in doormat-like behavior and some suggestions of what to do about it.


Do You Hold Grudges?

Tuesday, May 27th, 2014

grudgeIf you find that resentments fester, forgiveness comes hard, and letting go of past grievances is even harder, then this blog’s for you.


Blaming Others: Hurts You More Than It Hurts Them

Tuesday, May 20th, 2014

stubbornDon’t get me wrong.  Sometimes other people are to blame.  Sometimes you are completely and totally and utterly correct in thinking that it’s someone else’s fault.

But once you’ve tried to get them to see that and failed, once they refuse to take responsibility, or if you are habitually blaming others rather than formulating a solution–then what?


 

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