Archives for Relationships

Communication

How to Be a Better Listener

Couples often come in and say, "We need help with our communication," and the presumption is that they need to become better communicators--by which they mean better talkers. But the best thing you can do for your relationship is become a better listener.

Here are some tips for improving your listening with everyone in your life--your partner, friends, colleagues, kids. They'll all benefit, and so will you.
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Adolescents

Fat-Shaming, Skinny-Shaming: What Every Mother Should Know

And it's not bad for dads to read this, either! But Moms, I'm going to be talking to you specifically.

The reason is: In most cases, body shame begins at home. While our culture undoubtedly plays a role in how our children see themselves and their bodies, the first culture any of us experience is our family's.

And when I talk to teen girls in my therapy office who have body, eating, and/or self-esteem issues, what I often hear is that the first role model they ever had--their moms--had some of those issues themselves (though those mothers often believe they've kept them hidden, they tend to eke out in small ways that I'll describe below.) Or those mothers weren't aware of the way judgmental comments they make about others impact their own children.

(Interestingly, I've actually never heard this from a young girl: "My father was always saying he was too fat." There's something cultural in that as well.  But that's for another blog.)

Here are some thoughts on how you can make your family culture a healthy one. It's never too early (or too late) to start.
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Abuse

What Makes a Relationship Toxic

You might be wondering: Am I in a toxic relationship? To be honest, the fact that you're even asking the question (or reading this post) strongly suggests that you are. Deep down, we all know what's good for us, what makes us stronger, and what does the opposite.

This post is about eliminating uncertainty, and confronting denial. Toxic relationships weaken us. Read on to see if your relationship fits the profile.
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