Parenting Articles

How to Be a Better Listener

Sunday, January 25th, 2015

listening240There’s a lot out there about how to talk to your kids, especially about difficult topics like drugs and sex.  But what might be of greater value to your relationship and to their development is if you become a better listener.

Here are some tips.


How to Stay Calm When Your Toddler’s Melting Down

Friday, January 2nd, 2015

shutterstock_93516394I’ve got some pretty recent experience with this one, as my almost three-year-old has been alternating between intensely delightful and intensely–well, intense.

This can apply to your toddler’s tantrums (which tend to be brief) or meltdowns (which are protracted bouts of screaming and oppositional behavior that can go on for minutes to–worst case scenarios–more than an hour.)  What’s key is focusing not on what they’re doing, but on what you should be doing yourself.

Challenging, I know, but here  are some ideas to get you on a better path.


Our Children: Our Reflection?

Saturday, December 6th, 2014

shutterstock_104434844I think most parents have had this experience: You’re out somewhere and your child (toddler, teenager, anywhere in between) is behaving in a way that you find embarrassing, and that you hope is not reflective of your parenting.  But you feel the shame anyway, and the judgment of others, and you wonder: Is this my fault?  Is my child my reflection?


Mean Girls: Helping Your Teen Daughter Survive Her Friends

Monday, November 17th, 2014

shutterstock_138187733If you’re the parent of a teen girl, you’ve probably experienced one (or maybe both) of the following two scenarios: watching helplessly as your daughter is hurt by the meanness of other girls; watching helplessly as your daughter inflicted meanness on others.

I have some thoughts about the emotional brutality of female adolescence, and what you, as a parent, can do about it.


The Unexpected Ways Social Media Can Harm Your Teen (And What You Can Do About It)

Thursday, October 9th, 2014

shutterstock_192673244Social media and the parent-child bond are among the themes in my novel, “Don’t Try to Find Me.”  They were also among the topics of a recent radio interview I gave (thanks to Answers for the Family for a great talk! you can listen to it here.)  While there are the obvious ways that social media can harm a teenager (for example, cyber bullying) there are some more insidious ones as well.

What are they, and what’s a parent to do?


Fat Shaming, Slut Shaming: What All the Shaming Means for Your Daughters, and You

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2014

shutterstock_155135393There’s a fresh wave of stories about yet another young model told she’s “too fat for the runway.”  To the vast majority of us, that young woman doesn’t have a pound to spare.

And there’s always the latest story of another young woman driven to suicide after being raped, or being bullied for being too sexual or not sexual enough or too hot or not hot enough.  The online world is rife with opportunities to be told that something is wrong with you.

So what’s a parent to do?


Worst. Parent. Ever.

Saturday, September 13th, 2014

shutterstock_182868605Every parent has had that feeling at one point or another.  It could be an error in judgment, a moment of frustration, a public spectacle, a comparison to other people’s kids… Lucky us, there are a ton of scenarios that can evoke feelings of anxiety, insecurity, self-doubt, and self-laceration.

What if you’re having those feelings with some regularity?  Here are ideas of what to do.


How to Be the Parent You Wish You Had

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

shutterstock_195655586Some people learned how to parent by experiencing good parenting.  Some have learned the opposite (what not to do) because of the family they grew up in.   But there are particular challenges for those who were abused or neglected, once they have their own children.

Here are some ideas of how to face those challenges and become the parent you wish you’d had.


5 Tips for More Effective Parenting

Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

shutterstock_177053420These are equal opportunity parenting tips.  They apply no matter the age of your kids (be they toddlers, teenagers, somewhere in between, or even adult children.)  Once you’re a parent, you can’t really quit or retire, so might as well keep doing it better.


Negotiating with Your Teen

Friday, August 1st, 2014

shutterstock_150999815Sometimes parents want to negotiate with their teenagers but aren’t sure how.  We don’t want to be pushovers, but we don’t want to be dictators either.  So where to start?


 

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Recent Comments
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: Thanks! I thought it was applicable to a variety of situations and relationships.
  • Marine Pat: Love this. These questions can trickle up to everyone you encounter in your life. i see so many that are...
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: The first question is “What’s my baseline mood state?” It’s in there.
  • Becky: The first question is not listed.
  • Holly Brown, LMFT: Hadn’t thought of the Mean Girl mentality of the stepmother (she’s the ringleader for...
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