Archives for Parenting


How to Stop Spoiling Your Kids

You love your kids; you mean to do the best for them. But you find yourself indulging them far too often. It's a terrible term--the idea that you'll "spoil" this cherished little human of yours--but the reality is, overindulged children aren't well-prepared for life.

So if you want to produce a kid who's hard-working, grateful, and gracious, where do you start (and what do you stop)?

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Fat-Shaming, Skinny-Shaming: What Every Mother Should Know

And it's not bad for dads to read this, either! But Moms, I'm going to be talking to you specifically.

The reason is: In most cases, body shame begins at home. While our culture undoubtedly plays a role in how our children see themselves and their bodies, the first culture any of us experience is our family's.

And when I talk to teen girls in my therapy office who have body, eating, and/or self-esteem issues, what I often hear is that the first role model they ever had--their moms--had some of those issues themselves (though those mothers often believe they've kept them hidden, they tend to eke out in small ways that I'll describe below.) Or those mothers weren't aware of the way judgmental comments they make about others impact their own children.

(Interestingly, I've actually never heard this from a young girl: "My father was always saying he was too fat." There's something cultural in that as well.  But that's for another blog.)

Here are some thoughts on how you can make your family culture a healthy one. It's never too early (or too late) to start.
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Preventing Mental Disorders in Children and Teens

As parents, we're trying to do a million things to promote the well-being of our children.  Mental health, though, often gets short shrift.

Not all mental health disorders can be avoided (genetics do play a role here.)  But their impact can be lessened, and in some cases, prevented altogether.

If you're thinking, Oh, no, not one more thing I need to do, on top of making them do their homework, driving them to activities, etc.--good news.  These tips aren't time consuming, and they fit right in with the rest of your life. 
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