My significant other has bipolar manic depression and so do his sister and son and possibly his grandson. We have been together going on 7 years and he has had NO spells of bipolar disorder since we have been together. When he, or his son get on the road to possible trouble, I step up to them, talk very very calmly and tell them it is not going to do any good to blow up, it gets them nowhere and that the ones that are upsetting them know what buttons to push; and is that what they want? “to give them that power and take it from them?” You’d be surprised how fast it calms the situation and then I tell them that they have others who count on them to be there and if they go off on a rant, they will be away from them when they need them here- meaning family-especially the kids 11 and 12. As long as you treat them calmly and use realistic day to day sources and not invent reasons to not go off, they calm down and are okay. I know they neither one have has a spell since we’ve been together. The son spends more time with family, stays away from the bad influences that feed the mania, and things are good most times. When they start to mount, I intervene. Life is good. Thanks, Deanna

Ex-Bipolar Buddhist
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I am a journalist who spent 12 years wrongly diagnosed as being bipolar. I suffered from depression but was pegged as BP. In the years that followed, many psychiatrists failed to recognize that I did not fit the basic diagnostic criteria. I am a patient now under a doctor who compared my treatment to being “carpet bombed” by drugs I didn’t need and that made me worse.
Read my blog at http://thebipolarbuddhist.blogspot.com/

My now ex wife and I were together 10yrs was diagnosed at about 9 years into our relationship,unfortunately us having a child made the symptoms permenently unbearable for myself and impossible for me to be around her(the constant figeting and always yapping nonsense about this and that no consistancy or focus). The disorder explains alot about what I had been tormented with all those years the torturous nights of arguing and abuse I tolerated can scarcely be explained here,I let her alienate me from my family and friends,I let her take away my dreams and what I enjoyed doing for many years before I met her,I feel worn out mentally still from trying to keep up with her.I wish I could have even a small part my life back before because she will always continue to be an embarrasement to me and my daughter(she doesn’t like her mom coming to school because her friends stare at her heavily medicated momther and heavily over medicated new boy friend) I’m so glad I have full custody thank God.The self absorbed self centeredness of the disorder and the horribly poor judgements made in the all too frequent manic moods.I plead with anyone who gets married to learn as much as possible about mental disorders to watch for the signs in your potential mate and be very careful who you trust your life and your potential childrens lives.I hope someday I may recover from the ruins of that relationship and find another but I think I have a decade or two before that can happen if at all. I probably will never completely trust a woman in a relationship sense again.I’m going to go cry in my pillow now bye bye.

My daughter has bipolar disorder. She is now 29 has had 4 children. She has attempted suicide 8 times in a serious manner and who knows how many other times I don’t know about. Her mania is also usually rage. Her last suicide attempt, she almost made it to death. Her two oldest children were home, 5 and 2 at that time. I just happened to go there and found her – they were running around trying to feed themselves and with underware on – very scared. I called 911 (they took her away to ER and stabilized her) and I took the oldest to his father in Florida and sent the youngest to my daughter in Columbus. My grandson is still with his father in FL and will never come home…I lost him as has she – but at least he will not grow up in that madness and MISS 1/2 of his school year as he had. My little granddaughter has come home and I care mostly for her. My daughter also has 2 babies whose custody was given to their other grandparents (different fathers). It is a terrible situation. However, my daughter blames me for mostly everything negative (most things are negative) that happens. I furnish her with a car, cell phone, place to live, food, etc. She is very abusive to me – neglects her now 5 y.o. daughter and I am the one who has to pick up that slack and TRY TO WORK as well. I feel so helpless most of the time that I wish I could just run away. However, I bought a big house so we could all live together to try to help her and make sure my granddaughter (whose father is dead) is taken care of. NOW…I am kind of stuck with a huge house payment too. My daughter sleeps all of the time, but she tells people she cannot sleep. She is always in bed. I have to cook for and bath her daughter (which I love my granddaughter very much) – nag my daughter to take her to school which she does not do all of the time. Some days I take her, and other days I don’t have time to take her before I have to be at work and then I worry about her all day as I know her mother will just be in bed. IT IS A NIGHTMARE!!! I wish there was magic medicine that would heal my daughter and make her NORMAL!!!!, Yes, I said it NORMAL!!!! What is normal? I don’t know, but it certainly cannot be how she is. I know it is her disease, but it sure has leaked onto every one else around her….and she does not seem to care a bit. I realize there are different levels of bipolar and I wonder if her behavior is totally bipolar or just laziness/selfishness…..it sure does affect me – and I am trying to make my granddaughter’s life as normal as possible.

I see here some awesome posts of whining relatives of someone who is suffering from bipolar disorder. What about the actual sufferer? Do these “caring” relatives think of their pain at all?

Thank you Mary and Jerm for speaking up for the people with the dissorder! Man! The people here act as though the sufferers were doing it to punish them.

My husband is bipolar and is coming down right now. I found out recently that he is bipolar, although I’ve been aware for years he was not alright. We have three children and we have gone through hell the last 7 years. Now we know what’s going on and accept it(that was hard)he is getting help. My problem is I’ve been focused on him and the kids and I feel there is no room for me. The last two month’s his illness has taken over he no longer helps around the house and I can’t depend on him to even engage with us. My children take out their frustrations on me, he is verbally abusive and irrational at times. I talk to my children about it but they can only understand so much, young (11,6,4). I feel exhausted and numb, I’m not depressed just not happy with this situation. I have faith in the Lord that peace will come and he will help me through the day, I hate this. I want someone to be kind to me and love me, a partner who is there for me. I’m a very patient person, I just am tired of having to be. Want to feel loved, supported and not feel like the caregiver all the time.

For those who think the spouses of bi-polar do not care what their loved one is going through obviously has not lived in their shoes. When loaded guns are pointed at you and you are pushed around and called names, many would run. A day or two later, the bi-polar person claims to have no memory of such behavior. Even though we want to help and know they are suffering also, sometimes it gets down to your life or theirs.