Purple Tablets Asks…
I’m a female of child-bearing age… who has been diagnosed as Bipolar II. The message that the different doctors have given me so far has been “don’t get pregnant.” (In fact, one offended me so much with how she delivered this message that I cancelled my follow-up appointment and got a new psychiatrist!)
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MGH Center – What a great resource! Thank you for posting this.
Hannah
12:56 pm on
April 20th, 2009I got through one pregnancy with no medication at all until the 8th or 9th month, and then as a preventive measure. I was working closely with my psychiatrist, my OB/GYN and her superiors and my spouse throught the whole pregnancy. I received my prenatal care and delivered my baby at hospital that is well known for it’s research on how drugs affect babies. My psychiatrist who had been opposed to the pregnancy in the first place, moved in my 5th or 6th month and I had to start seeing someone new. This was possible the most difficult part for me, emotionally, but she was very supportive and had seen other patients through pregnancy before. She started me back on my meds about 6 weeks before I delivered with the agreement of my OB/GYN in order to prevent mood swings post-partum. I made it through the entire process with not mood swings at all. I had been stable for about 5 1/2 years which made a huge difference, I think. I would not recommend stopping all medications for everyone, but I was determined to do it and it worked for me.
As for whether it was a good idea to pass on my genes, I don’t know. Is it any worse than the genes I may carry for heart disease or cancer? My child’s pediatrician is aware of my bipolar status and asks me about my mental health everytime we see her and I’m certain she will be watching for any signs of mental illness in my child. The one thing my kid will have that I didn’t is parents who are aware of the potential for this illness and know how to handle it.
Angel
10:17 am on
April 24th, 2009I have a wonderful child who might be considered bipolar in later years, however I have found that having a mental disorder does not mean a child will develop the disorder. Society in what causes mental disorders in our children because there are many people out there who are mentally ill and they do not accept it. Bad life situations does not mean that one cannot have rear children. Just take a look a the people who do not have any mental illness, thier kids end up in jail and make horrible decisions. But of course, if a women cannot take care of her personal needs then, no she should not have a child and niether should a man for that matter.
rebecca lynn
2:44 pm on
May 23rd, 2009I am 26 years old. I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 22, when I was admitted to a hospital in the middle of my failing college career. I took meds for two months, then quit, thinking, “This illness will not define me…it’s temporary…it’ll go away.” Four months ago, I realized I was 1 1/2 mo. pregnant to a man I had known (and had been sleeping with) for a month and a half. I was, at that time, by no stretch of the imagination managing my illness. In fact, I was drinking heavily, staying up late, and sleeping with a man I barely knew, prescription-free (including birth control).
When my hormones began to rage, and triggered my bipolar about two months ago, the dad decided he wanted out of the relationship. Still wanting to “be a part of the baby’s life” (whatever that means..) he left me alone, five months pregnant with his child, to struggle and deal with a whole new life awaiting me, and face-to-face with my illness, again.
I was readmitted into the hospital a month later. My psychiatrist now has me on a low dose (very low – 5 mg/day) of Lexapro. I am not sure if it is helping, or if I am just cycling through alternating mood swings and regular un-symptomatic periods of time, but I am getting more used to the idea of being alone right now – it’s better than being with someone who cannot forgive, or love me in spite of my illness.
And chances are my daughter will have the illness, as well (my mom has always had it). If I want to be the best mother I can be, I need to learn as much as I can now about the illness and how to treat it, and I need to find a partner who loves me enough that he is willing to do the same.
Lily
9:48 am on
December 20th, 2009I was on Lithium at the very very beginning of my pregnancy, then with
the help of my psychiatrist got off Lithium for the two to reaching fourth
month time for protecting against heart defects ( And got on Verapamil
for a mood stabilizer for that time and also… ) … then was told I could
get back on some lower dose Lithium by my psychiatrist but was advised
by midwifes who didn’t know as much about this all ( although they were quite good ) that their thinking was don’t get back on Lithium. Part of me wished I did now, it might have really helped feel more stable. But because
I stayed on Verapamil, and was mostly stable I was able to nurse my baby.
Which gave me great comfort of bonding with my baby. My baby girl turned out fine. She was born early, and was a low weight due to preclamia, high blood pressure, but her lungs, heart, and everything, thankfully by God’s blessing was all fine. I was told that Verapamil was helpful for me doubly because it is meant as a high blood pressure medication. Which by the way, if you start having high blood pressure in pregnancy they try to get you full of medications for that. So, Bi Polar is not the only illness to take medications for during pregnancy. Verapamil supposedly has the side effect of helping moods, plus it’s side of effect of sleepiness was good if taken at night. Guess you would have to check the medication out somewhere other than me… this is just what I’ve been told. I had one problem with it and can’t decide whether it was just a getting off Lithium problem or getting on Verapamil, but I had less appetite. As far as my views about whether anybody with Bi polar should have children… YES! It may be harder at certain times for them, but who understands the widest range of emotions more? … and children often share their wide range of emotions. Plus, it’s a sickness to have Bi polar, it doesn’t mean your terrible. I’ve met a lot of very nice people with Bi polar.
amybethwood
11:50 pm on
March 23rd, 2012Hi Lily,
Thanks so much for replying to this post! You are helping so many people like myself by sharing your experience with us! By any chance, do you reside in the DC metro area? If so, I’d like to ask if I could get your doctor’s name and number. I have BP1 and my current doc has no experience dealing with patients that have been pregnant. I’m happily married, stable, and of child-bearing age. We really want to have a baby someday.
Ariel
4:05 pm on
January 1st, 2010I am a young adult with bipolar 2 and in a steady relationship and thinking about children. My father is an unmedicated bipolar. Living with him as a child was very difficult. I never want to put a child though that. I am on medication currently and have no intention of stopping them. I just worry that even with the medication I will not be able to do it. My partner is very suportive. Still I worry that being bipolar will cause me to be a bad parent. This information has helped me understand that parenting is possable even though I am bipolar.
anonymous
12:08 pm on
January 2nd, 2010Honestly, in my opinion, I say if women want children and have bipolar then go ahead and have them. Involve your doctors, take good care of yourself.
We can’t prevent everything. There is a risk of autism, I think 1 in 100, there is down syndrome etc. But there is even a greater possibility of a 100% healthy child. So go for it.
pancakes
1:11 pm on
July 8th, 2010I am 16 and possible pregnant. Apparently i have a special case of bipolar where i hullicinate? I’ve been having a lot of the symptoms of pregnancy. My mood swings have been off the charts worse than i was diagonosed. I haven’t told my doctor or my parents yet but i’m worried for the possible baby and my family members. I’m afriad of hurting/ beating up my siblings. I want to keep the baby. I am currently at a loss. What should i do?
Candida FInk MD
2:50 pm on
July 8th, 2010Dear pancakes – I strongly urge you to talk to your parents about your concerns – but if you cannot do that please talk to an adult that you know and trust who can offer you some guidance. How about your pediatrician – or if you have a therapist or psychiatrist? Any of these adults can help you think through these very big concerns and questions. Planned parenthood can provide you with support and counseling and pregnancy testing -without notifying your parents – but in addition it is important to talk to an adult that you know about these things. Good luck to you -
E
8:53 am on
July 9th, 2010I was diagnosed bipolar II and was on abilify, lamictal, wellbutrin, sertraline, topamax and lorazepam when I got pregnant with my second child.
I stopped all medication until the beginning of the second trimester and then went on nortriptiline(sp?)and abilify until the third trimester when I swapped the nortrip for prozac. I gained 50 lbs during that pregnancy and the baby was born at 34 weeks. Not fun. She was small, but healthy, and after a week in the nicu, came home with us. She met all subsequent milestones and is currently a thriving five year old.
With my third child, I stopped abilify, lyrica, sertraline, lorazepam & possibly wellbutrin. I might be forgetting one, but that is hardly surprising. I was fortunate enough to be able to stay off of them for the duration of the pregnancy. I did take massive amounts of fish oil which I personally felt was helpful. This child was born right on time, in beautiful health and weighing roughly twice the amount of my second child. She is also doing well, and I’m pleased to say that on a very small amount of seroquel, so am I.
Stigma Fighter
7:41 pm on
August 9th, 2010No, Dr Fink, we most certainly do NOT have two questions to address here.
Unless of course, you’re a fan of eugenics, which it appears you and many of your colleagues that I have misfortune to meet in my life seem to be.
I find your response deeply offensive and deeply stigmatising to people with bipolar and it is out of place on a blog like this, that is supposed to be educative and supportive of people living with this condition.
Having bipolar should not preclude someone from having children unless they are so ill and affected by it that it makes raising those children impossible. Isn’t the point of treatment and modern medicine to allow people to ”lead a normal life”
If you are well and stable and able to support a child and in a position where you have support, whether it be from a spouse/partner or extended family, there should be absolutely no reason not to have children: people with bipolar are not lesser beings, you know. Many of us even have great jobs and make huge contributions to society and are happily married. And are great parents, with very talented and beautiful children. If those children develop our illness later in life then fortunately, it can be treated.
Human breeding is a genetic lottery.
Do we tell women with a strong genetic predisposition to breast cancer not to have children? Do we tell people with a family history of Type 2 diabetes not to reproduce?
Do doctors tell people with low intelligence not to have kids? The answer of course is no. It is only people with a mental illness that are treated in this appallingly discriminatory manner and made to feel sub-human and less worthy by medicos like Dr Fink. What gives you, Dr Fink, the right to pronouce whether I have the right to have a child?
The subtext here also is the you, the person with bipolar, doesn’t really have the right to exist either. Oh, dear, you have been such a problem and caused so many problems in your life and been such a burden on society you really ought not to repeat it all again by having a child just like you.
Have you doctors ever thought what removing bipolar genes from the gene pool would do? Think about it: As in, the sheer number of hugely talented people down the ages who have made major contributions to science, literatures, the arts, and yes, even medicine, who have suffered from mood disorders is gobsmacking. Where would the human race be had these people not existed? Where would the allies have been without Winston Churchill during World War II, for example?
You make me sick. Pun intended.
Hi, “Stigma Fighter”
I guess you skipped the part in the post about this being a personal decision.
I’m sure Dr. Fink can speak for herself, but knowing Dr. Fink personally and professionally, I find your comment unjust and in poor taste. All Dr. Fink is doing here is trying to provide people with information that can help them make the best decisions for themselves and their families. Well informed decisions are liberating, not restrictive or stigmatizing.
Stigma Fighter
5:16 pm on
August 10th, 2010The point I was making, Joe, is that it is a question that really should never be posed. Especially to someone with bipolar.
Don’t you think most of us are bright enough to ask it of ourselves, without some superior medico forcing their own biases on us?
You are right: it is most certainly a personal choice/decision. Just like it is – or should be – for every single human being on the planet.
It is not something that should be inflicted on us by a doctor. We know our own limitations and whether we have the capacity to support and provide for a child and the stability to give that child a positive, stable and loving upbringing.
Why should a committee, as described by Dr Fink in her post, make such a decision for us?
And I think I explained, quite articulately, why I believe a doctor posing this question is completely inappropriate: It is demeaning, patronising and at the very worst, reminiscent of eugenic thought processes.
I will reiterate, in case you missed it: people with mental illness are among the few for whom doctors ask this question.
By doctors asking whether a person with bipolar should have children, people with bipolar are made to feel sub-human: like lesser beings without the most basic right that every single person takes for granted: the right to have children and thus a family of our own.
When a doctor poses such a question, the person with bipolar also is made to feel like their own life has little or no value. As in: “we wouldn’t want another one like you”; and made to suffer the indignity of the inference that somehow, we would also be bad parents.
I think in your rush to defend your friend, you have completely missed the point I was making.
So I will reiterate again: It is especially harmful when doctors make this sort of pronouncement.
My own doctor, and several other good doctors I have met in my life, agree 100 per cent with my position on this
.
One even said to me, ”the moment a doctor says anything like that to you, you need to leave and find another doctor.”
Joe, I believe you are married to a woman with bipolar.
I have no idea what your status is with regard to children. However, knowing your wife and loving your wife, do you honestly believe that she deserves to have a doctor ask her this sort of demeaning question?
I believe she is intelligent, talented, and obviously has a personality that has kept you in love with her for a considerable length of time. As you stated yourself, most of the time, your marriage is normal, just like everyone else’s.
So why should that question be asked of her by a doctor? Apart from her being perfectly capable of asking it of herself, are her genes any less worthy of being passed on say, than someone with an IQ of 90, who only ever manages to collect rubbish (trash) for a living?
The answer of course, is no. And if a doctor were to pose this question to the aforementioned trash-collecting individual all hell would break loose.
Your wife is so much more than just a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. As are we all with this diagnosis.
All human beings are innately valuable and we all make a contribution in our own unique way. However imperfect we are.
My own very wise doctor said to me, after I related, distressed, that a psychiatrist had suggested to me once that I should not have children: (This despite the fact I am a highly intelligent professional, married to another highly intelligent professional, who earns good money and that I have won national awards in my field)
I quote: ”Given the sort of genetic conditions floating around out there in the gene pool, if you thought about it, NO-ONE should ever have children.”
I am passionate about destroying the stigma associated with this condition. When doctors inflict this sort of so called question on us, all it does is exacerbate that stigma ten fold. And destroys our self esteem for good measure
You are right. And I repeat: having children is a personal choice and it is NOT the place of a doctor to either make for us or imply that we need it made for us just because we have bipolar disorder.
Try to see it from my perspective.
When I showed my husband this blog entry, he too was outraged, on my behalf.
He was incandescent on behalf of our highly talented, much loved child’s.
Hi, “Stigma Buster”
I don’t have the time nor the inclination to get into some extended and probably futile discussion with you over this topic, because you insist on reading things into what Dr. Fink has posted, but I will offer one last response.
You say, “Why should a committee, as described by Dr Fink in her post, make such a decision for us?”
Dr. Fink clearly says in her post, “Answering this question involves a very complex and personal decision process that will include you, your partner, your psychiatrist, and your OB/GYN.”
That’s right, it’s a PERSONAL DECISION.
Nowhere in no way does Dr. Fink state or imply that this decision “should be inflicted on us by a doctor.”
Nowhere in no way does Dr. Fink in her post suggest that a doctor should be advising a patient not to have children, as your doctor allegedly told you.
Those are three examples of many instances in which you twist what Dr. Fink says in order to support your stance.
Your argument is invalid. It’s a classic “straw man” debate strategy in which you misrepresent your opponent’s position in a way that makes it vulnerable to attack, attack the misrepresentation, and then claim that somehow your position is superior because you “won.” The straw man argument is a logical fallacy.
Any responsible parents planning a family would want to know the potential risks posed by anything in their gene pool, any medications they’re taking, and any environmental exposures that could cause problems during the pregnancy or the development of the future child. To want to remain ignorant of such things, is… well… ignorant.
One more thing. You don’t know my wife. She would want to know, and she would want to have a discussion with me and her doctor(s) before trying to conceive, so she and I could make a well-informed decision on how to proceed. That is the intelligent and responsible way to approach to family planning.
dorris
11:11 am on
October 1st, 2010ok im pregnant for the first time and i have bipolar the dad is to i just wanted to know is that can my baby become bipolar with to parents that have it?
E
10:16 pm on
October 19th, 2010Dear Stigma Fighter
I read with such interest your well observed, incisive comments. It is indeed insulting and demeaning to be counseled about pregnancy as a bipolar patient. My psychiatrist was not wild about me conceiving my very much planned and desired second child, and told me after I had her that I should feel that I had “made my contribution to society” and to not become pregnant again. I felt that this was very much due to the anxiety he felt about being my Dr while I was reproducing, not about what I wanted or felt comfortable about having in my life. In a laughable kind of way, he was inserting himself into my marriage and attempting to make decisions for my husband and I about our family. Sure, he was concerned about my health, but come on, what hubris!
So, when my husband and I decided to go for a third we didn’t even involve my new psychiatrist. I just showed up at my next appointment thrilled to be two weeks pregnant (I probably knew to the hour how pregnant I was!)and proceeded to let him know which medications I had already been weaning myself off of. As I mentioned in my earlier comment, it was a much more textbook pregnancy and like our other two, our third child has been a source of delight and joy (occasional frustration too, but hey, she’s three). Our family now feels complete, and along the way I came to find that I had been extremely overmedicated and am much more likely to be suffering from depression and anxiety than bipolar disorder. It is the correct dose and type of medication that makes the quality of my life so much better, not the change of diagnosis, and my point is that if I had blindly listened to my “experts” I might still be sitting in a drug induced haze, being a good patient and living my life the way someone who did not feel like being called on the weekends wanted me to.
My children were all planned, wanted and are so deeply loved. My husband and I can afford to feed, clothe and educate them, and as far as passing on mental illness genes of any stripe, it’s a lottery. No one goes through this life without a burden of some type, and if this is the one my lovely children must carry then we will support them and guide them to the kind of help that will enhance their lives, not imprison and demean them.
Jasmine
8:41 am on
August 18th, 2011I’m a little offended that the psychiatrist was against your having children. I understand that for people with severe disorders it can be terribly risky, but I also think that plenty of people have problems, and as long as you think you can provide a safe, supportive environment for your child, you should go ahead.
I’m bipolar, and I’m engaged to an Aspie (a guy with Asperger’s). Bi-polar runs in both our families, Asperger’s runs in his, and depression and sociopathy run in mine. We’ve been up-front with each other about this, and we fully intend to have children. We’re both awesome people! Our illnesses do not define us, and we have supportive families who have helped us out. After sweeing my mom, myself, and my brother go through depression, I feel that I am in a good place to recognize it in my own children and make sure they have the support they need to get through it. I am being strict with myself about staying on my medication (though I’m not sure what I’ll do with that once I’m pregnant), so that I can remain able to care for my family and maintain healthy relationships.
I think if you’re committed to doing the work, staying informed, and being supportive if there is a problem, you should definitely have kids. Everybody’s screwed up somehow these days, it seems. It’s how you deal with it that matters
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