When you’re in a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder and seems to be exhibiting symptoms of mania or hypomania, you’re likely to face the dilemma of whether to say anything:
Some time ago, on our other blog, Bipolar Blog, a visitor posted a piece in our Share Your Bipolar Story section entitled “Bipolar Extramarital Affair,” which generated some discussion.
Recently, another visitor commented on that story about the need to make some allowances for bipolar: “Allowances must be made. Not to do so is unfair because it [bipolar] holds people to unrealistic standards and disappointment becomes the inevitable outcome.” He goes on to say that “You have two choices: moderate the behaviors and/or moderate the expectations.”
Bipolar mania can really foul up the family dynamic. One minute, your family is cruising along on autopilot, and the next minute you’re in a tailspin. It can begin innocently enough with a barely perceptible increase in irritability and criticism, and then quickly escalate into knock-down, drag-out conflicts, all of which contribute to worsening the mania.
Hi, I have just recently been diagnosed with BPD. I have been on an antidepressant for years because I have suffered from depression (or what I was told was just depression) many years ago. Well recently I left my husband for the 2nd time and bought a car (that I couldn’t afford) and then of course had the depression really set in hard. Worse than ever.
Folk singer-songwriter Cathy-Anne McClintock has just released her self-titled debut album, which includes a track entitled “Up” based on her personal experience growing up with her mother who has bipolar disorder.
I wrote the song because for as long as I can remember my mom has suffered with Bipolar Disorder. It wasn’t until I was about 16 that it was given a “label.” We just always thought she was beautiful, smart, flamboyant, spontaneous, spiritual, very energetic and productive until suddenly she wasn’t. That’s when she’d spend weeks alone in her room crying.
“Up” talks a little about my mom’s childhood and the euphoric “escape” that the manic side of the disorder can bring. It also talks about how we wish we knew more so we could have handled some things better.
If anyone has heard the song, please share your insights.
In Bipolar Disorder for Dummies
Outsiders may have a completely different perspective, saying or at least thinking…
Bipolar disorder affects more than the individual who has it – it affects everyone it touches, especially family members, and can in turn be affected by the words and behaviors of others. In my family, for example, when my wife starts cycling into mania, I tend to get depressed. Our son becomes borderline abusive. Our daughter gets confused and defensive. All of our reactions seem to feed into the bipolar, worsening the mania.
I work at home. My wife (who has bipolar) works for the local school district. Several times during the year are difficult for us. It seems, for example, that when we “spring forward” for daylight savings time, we almost invariably spring into mania. We do okay over the summer. When she returns to work in the fall, sometimes we do okay, sometimes not. The Christmas break is also usually a bad time.
I’m just getting around to reading the winter edition of bp Magazine. At first glance, the cover story struck me as odd: “Asking Forgiveness and Making Amends.” Hmmm, I wonder whether people diagnosed with diabetes or heart disease are expected to apologize for what their illness has done to them and how it has strained their relationships?
I have recently entered into a relationship with a man with this illness and know nothing about it. I want to be there for him, but he just says he needs to be on his own. How do I help him?
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Site last updated: 22 May 2012
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