One of the symptoms of bipolar disorder is a lack of insight – an inability (not unwillingness) to notice a significant shift in one’s own mood or behavior. This happens most often during acute mood episodes – manic or depressed – but can be part of the bigger picture of living with the illness. Family members agonize over how to help someone who doesn’t want help, and they sometimes watch helplessly as the illness destroys their loved one’s life.
When a loved one is cycling into mania, she may become more energized than usual–more driven to get everything done all at once. If you’re a people pleaser by nature, it’s easy to get swept up into the vortex and even contribute to it by being too helpful (in the wrong ways). If possible, it’s better to slow down and take a more rational approach. Otherwise, you and your loved one are likely to run around “like chickens with your heads cut off,” increasing everyone’s stress level.
As we write in Bipolar Disorder for Dummies, bipolar mania tends to feed itself. Mania increases stress, which fuels the mania, which further increases stress and deepens the mania. It can be a vicious cycle.
Yesterday, Lynn posted a comment on our Bipolar Disorder Medication Spotlight: Seroquel. Here’s what she had to say.
Last week, Joe posted a piece entitled “Bipolar Dilemma: Insensitive Jerk or Irresponsible Oaf?” in an attempt to spark a discussion and collect insights on what to do when you sense that your loved one with bipolar is exhibiting symptoms of mania or hypomania. This week, Dr. Fink weighs in.
This dilemma lies at the heart of so much of the strife that families living with bipolar disorder face every day. I don’t have any magic answers – I suspect that people living with these challenges have creative solutions that will be more helpful to others than anything the doctor might have to offer.
When you’re in a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder and seems to be exhibiting symptoms of mania or hypomania, you’re likely to face the dilemma of whether to say anything:
Some time ago, on our other blog, Bipolar Blog, a visitor posted a piece in our Share Your Bipolar Story section entitled “Bipolar Extramarital Affair,” which generated some discussion.
Recently, another visitor commented on that story about the need to make some allowances for bipolar: “Allowances must be made. Not to do so is unfair because it [bipolar] holds people to unrealistic standards and disappointment becomes the inevitable outcome.” He goes on to say that “You have two choices: moderate the behaviors and/or moderate the expectations.”
Bipolar disorder affects more than the individual who has it – it affects everyone it touches, especially family members, and can in turn be affected by the words and behaviors of others. In my family, for example, when my wife starts cycling into mania, I tend to get depressed. Our son becomes borderline abusive. Our daughter gets confused and defensive. All of our reactions seem to feed into the bipolar, worsening the mania.
I have recently entered into a relationship with a man with this illness and know nothing about it. I want to be there for him, but he just says he needs to be on his own. How do I help him?
Syndicated from the Bipolar Blog with a couple minor changes
Jill Ravitz recently posted her bipolar story, which caused me to think about my own situation with my wife and our family. Back in 1999 my wife was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. Within about two years, we were discussing divorce.
Syndicated from the Bipolar Blog
I believe that my sister is bipolar. She has all the symptoms. She is 36 and has two kids. I have tried talking with her about seeing a doctor but she seems to think she doesn’t need any help. I just worry about her, and I would love some advice on how to handle the situation without losing a sister.
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Site last updated: 22 May 2012
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