By definition, a holiday is a vacation – a break from work for leisure activities. In reality, however, holidays can become more like a disruption of comfortable routine, a time when annual stressors and triggers slither down the chimney in the form of irritating relatives, unresolved family matters, or an overwhelming urge to be everything to everyone.
With the holidays just around the corner, please take some time to reflect on the stressors and triggers that you commonly encounter over the holidays and how you plan on keeping at least one of them under wraps. Perhaps you’re committed to maintaining a regular sleep schedule, spending more or less time with particular family members, or skipping the mass mailing of greeting cards.
Do you usually find the winter holidays more or less stressful than your usual routine? If mood maintenance becomes more of a challenge around the holidays, do you find you struggle more with depression or mania? Name one major stressor you encounter almost every holiday season. How do you typically deal with it or plan on dealing with it this time?
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Bobbi J at 9:36 am on
December 23rd, 2009This is my first holiday season with the Diagnosis of BiPolar II. The last couple of years have left me in depression, I felt like I couldn’t do anything right- i wasn’t hosting- We moved into a great place, but we want our son to be here before the rest of the family. In the past, even as a single woman with roommates, if we had space I would arrange a meal and fun time for those who couldn’t get to their families for the holiday. Now I realize most of those plans happened while I was manic- but I pulled it off and didn’t get depressed until it was over. My husband and I will be with my family on Christmas eve, then we will be home by ourselves for Christmas day- his family goes in many directions, if they are near they can drop by. I don’t have expectations, therefore I won’t be disappointed by what happens.
As far as stress goes mine starts around October when I head out to get supplies to make all my gifts, once completed I can relax. I find that my depression hits more between Christmas and New Years- I feel pressured to make resolutions/goals for the new year (I have never set a goal and kept it beyond February with the exception of my sobriety). When I worked end of the year reports were there to tie up, projections were made for the new year, but other than a smaller bonus if projections weren’t met, oh well. Personally if I set a goal for myself and fail, depression hits hard. It is easier for me to not set a goal, then I can be happy when I do succeed.
F at 1:16 pm on
December 23rd, 2009My trigger starts around September time when I know I have to invite my mother for Christmas but I just can’t face the stress of having her stay for a few days. Luckily for the past two years when I have finally broached the subject, she has chosen to decline and then the pressure comes off somewhat. I only see her about once a year which I guess is bad bearing in mind she is only an hour away but I revert to a monosyllabic teenager in her presence and I am in my late 40s.
Last Christmas I was slightly manic so it was all wonderful, I had a full house and produced a perfect meal. All I want to do this year is chill out, chuck the turkey in the oven when it suits me and have no worries as I am slightly low. Unfortunately my inlaws are coming so I am now frantic trying to get the house spotless, planning a schedule so the turkey will be on the table perfect at 2.30pm and on top of that I will have to dress up and be civil all day. Roll on Boxing Day when I intend to do absolutely nothing!
artie at 6:07 pm on
December 23rd, 2009I think I’ve gone manic more often around Xmas than any other time.
Yes the break in routine, alos maybe:
behavior in holidays is more similar to mania, unstructured, spontaneous, exuberent, more partying, this perhaps nurtures and provides camouflage for mania.
Outrageous generosity is common with mania, Xmas is all about giving, (maybe Santa Claus is Bi-polar) perhaps this sometimes creates a more agreeable frame of mind for mania to develop.
Here in the southern hemisphere summer is reaching it’s peak at Xmas, this just adds to the cookiness of the bipolar and everyone else.
The stress caused by peple who hate Xmas (always peple with personality disorders, immature, self-centred, socipaths, narcissists “giving! how monsterous” etc) you would need to treat them in order to prevent mania in thier relatives).
It was after Halloween that I believe my first and only manic episode began. My male companion put decorations and a tree up the night after Halloween. I lived alone for many, many years before I took the chance of a relationship, and I wasn\’t accustom to making a big deal out of holidays. Soon, I was wrapped up in this world win of events. Then thanksgiving came, and deciding where we were going to, his family or mine. By the time Christmas approached, I didn\’t have the energy to do all that was expected of me. I thought if I stopped taking Klonopin I would need less sleep and could accomplish more. And that\’s exactly what happened. By January I was getting more and more angry about everything and everyone. I was in a rage. I told off everyone that I was angry with for the last 50 years. My mate dumped me. My family disowned me. I was homeless. After 6 months of living on the streets, my daughter committed me, by the courts, into a psychiatric ward. From the psych ward, to a foster home for 9 months, court ordered. I wanted to go home, and I realized that I had no home. I\’m not saying that this was anyone else\’s fault. I made the decision to stop taking my med. Holidays are so difficult. For the last 3 years holidays have been spent very, very low key. I wanted to relax and be free of stress. Be cautious of how holidays, particularly Christmas, can affect our health. Holidays for bipolars isn\’t a game. Forget rituals and expectations. Take care of you.
Susan in AK at 7:10 pm on
December 9th, 2010“Outrageous generosity is common with mania, Xmas is all about giving, (maybe Santa Claus is Bi-polar)”
Artie, that’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever read! And, when you really think about it, you could be right. An overweight man (medication related, do you think?) driving his elves relentlessly all year, because he has to give every child a present?. Maybe the “bad” children on his list are ones he checks on while he’s manic and irritable? And, he’s certainly not shy, galavanting around the world in a red suit and HoHoHo-ing everywhere. Hahahaha!
I needed a laugh this afternoon. Here’s wishing all Bipolarites have a calm, steady holiday season. Remember, no one alive can be a perfect Martha Stewart. Even Martha has staff!
Susan
Last reviewed: 18 Dec 2009
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