Not only did I have that problem, but a coworker there was telling everyone my job was so easy, until she had to do it when I was off. Which after awhile was quite a bit. I even had FMLA, four weeks vacation, and still got into point trouble. I went to my supervisors about this coworkers harrassment and even the union, they didn’t do anything about it. Told me that was they way this person was, and just not let it bother me. Well as you know thats not easy for us. So I did something I am not proud of, but I was in a terrible situation, no one at work helping, so I took a doctors slip and changed dates on it. Well my company checked with my docotr’s office and they told them “no they hadn’t written the slip”, which they had, but I had changed the dates to cover a longer period from work. I was fired after coming out of the hospital, no charges filed, my doctor was very understanding aafter hearing my diagnosis.

My problem now, is I have a hard time being dependable. I will go for long periods of time, without missing and then just out of the blue (or so it seems to me) I will just wake up and say I don’t feel like going in today. Or I just can’t drag myself out of bed, I just want to lay there and cover my head up and forget the world, and even myself.

I am always asking myself, why bother. I don’t have inusrance or a job now. I guess because I live in a small community and word gets around. I don’t know if I should come right out and tell prospective employers I suffer from bi-polar disorder or not. I feel that if I do, I am shooting myself down before I get a chance.

My thinking isn’t clear, I feel foggy most of the time. I can’t remember things, until later when I should have been able to tell someone that “hey I worked with autoclaves, or I managed open and closed order files, had to do problem solving, etc”. but it just won’t come to me.

I guess what I am trying to say, is I feel like I have made no progress since 2004. I am stuck in limbo or worse hades. I so want to be a good employee, but I feel like I set myself up for a fall. What can I do to improve this in myself?