One of my friends understood somewhat and, though she said her trust in me was strained, tried to understand. She gave me an ultimatum though: Take your medication or we’re not friends. My doctor put me on lithium, which I hate taking for a number of reasons and though I’ve tried explaining them to her, she says that she worries about me too much and if I don’t and have another manic episode, she can’t support me.

The other friend cut off contact completely, and honestly, I can’t say I blame her.

The hardest thing to do is explain to other people that it doesn’t even feel like you afterward–it feels like some stranger hijacked your body, screwed up your life, and then you come back to yourself to realize that everything around you is strained or broken. From my experience, most people–even those who want to understand–tend to have this subconscious mentality that you were just being unreasonable, like a bad temper that you can control, or that somehow you’re just using your bipolar as an excuse.

Sorry for the lengthy comment!

You’re right, it could be something other than bipolar. And yes, anger can be a part of bipolar, although other things can cause irritability and anger too, including other health conditions.

You and your family, including your brother, will probably never know the root cause unless some well-qualified person(s) can step in, defuse the situation, and then start sorting out what’s going on.

I hate to see anyone’s family torn apart and suffer so much. I’m no expert in these matters, but I think your family would benefit greatly by pulling together and committing to resolve this unacceptable situation. Treat it as something that MUST be resolved.

You have much to lose if this continues and much more to gain by resolving this. What a wonderful gift it would be for your parents and your family to have your brother back healthy.

Dr. Fink posted a piece some time ago entitled “Encouraging a Family Member with Bipolar to Get Help,” which probably doesn’t apply to your situation. It sounds as though your brother would not be at all receptive to any suggestions at this point.

Dr. Fink posted another piece that may be more appropriate for your situation entitled “Can I Have My Manic Loved One Hospitalized?” on our other Bipolar Blog.

By referring to these two articles, I do not want to discourage others from posting their insights. If you’ve been in a situation similar to the one that Robyn’s family is facing and found something that works, please offer your words of wisdom.

I think Mania is harder to accept, understand, and forgive for people around bipolar patients. Like I always told my ex: “You tell me it was horrible for you, to stand through all my episodes. That, I understand. I’m sure it was. What you don’t seem to understand is that it was just as horrible for me. I don’t enjoy hurting people I love. I never intended to do any of the things I did during my episodes. I think it was just as hard for me as it was for you.”

I clearly remember and will never forget how when I was on mania, I ended up screaming at my ex really bad, with our newborn present. I always ended up crying after my outbreaks of screaming. Now I understand why. It was hurting me to do so to my loved ones.

Mania and bipolar in general are hard things. Not easy at all. But at the same time, they arent impossible to overcome. It just takes a lot of work, effort, patience, and persistance. But you CAN overcome it. Trust me, I did.

Blessings to all bipolar patients out there, and of course, blessings also to all the people that have a bipolar in their family, or as a partner. Please try to understand it hurts us just as much as it hurts you. It really does.

Camilo