Susan Asks…

Hi, I have just recently been diagnosed with BPD. I have been on an antidepressant for years because I have suffered from depression (or what I was told was just depression) many years ago. Well recently I left my husband for the 2nd time and bought a car (that I couldn’t afford) and then of course had the depression really set in hard. Worse than ever.

Well thank goodness for an awesome husband. We are back together and I started seeing a psychologist, who sent me to a psychiatrist. Now at least I know why I’ve been doing these destructive things for more years than I want to admit. My therapist has been great and yes I’m still going. Trying to get my meds in sync now and get through my worst depression ever. Got my car repossessed, lost my house, on medical leave from a job I absolutely hate. Now I’m trying to get my life on track.

I’ve been reading anything online I can find about this disease. Can anyone tell me how to get things on track and help my husband to know that I don’t want to lose him during all this and I don’t want to keep leaving him every year? We’ve been married almost 3 years, and every year I leave him. I have no idea where to even begin with getting a plan set up. I know I need to always take my meds and I’ve been good about that even when I thought it was just depression. That part of it I have a handle on.

I don’t know how to find out what my triggers are or how to see another episode starting. I will take any advice or help I can get. Just need to know how to get started really but I’m finding there is a lot of work ahead of me to even start feeling “normal,” if there is such a thing for me. Help me please.

Dr. Fink answers…

Hi, Susan. We wrote Bipolar Disorder For Dummies for people just like you… intelligent people who feel like dummies when they first learn that they or someone they know has bipolar disorder. You are already a couple steps ahead of that crowd. You know you have bipolar disorder and are actively seeking treatment, from both a psychologist (therapist) and a psychiatrist. You also have an “awesome husband” on hand to provide some support. All of these things are an excellent start.

For most people with bipolar, the treatment plan is fairly straightforward, at least on the surface:

• Take your medications as prescribed and check in with your p-doc (psychiatrist) regularly for medication adjustments, if needed.
• Work with your therapist to deal with any stressors or triggers as effectively as possible.
• Eat a well-balanced diet.
• Establish a regular sleep routine, getting 8-10 hours of sleep per day (or night).

Of course, we provide more detailed recommendations in the book.

As far as keeping your husband, the first order of business is to get yourself healthy and do your best, with the help of your psychiatrist and therapist, to maintain mood stability. Your husband may need some counseling to get through this and learn some strategies for helping you. The best first step he can take is to educate himself about bipolar, so he has a better handle on what he’s dealing with. You both may also benefit from some sort of relationship/marriage counseling, but this therapy is usually most productive when both partners’ moods and emotions are fairly stable.

If you have recommendations for Susan based on your own experiences, please post a comment.

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    Last reviewed: 31 Jul 2009