God how I miss those times when I felt truly alive.

But they’re over and I resent it.

I’m BP-1. When my depression gets bad, I absolutely crave being manic. It’s like being the living dead, and remembering the polar opposite ‘life’ of mania. Twice in recent years, I have taken the ill-advised step of stopping my psych meds, just to induce mania. It worked, but both times I ended up on a psych ward for a mandatory stay. But the honest truth is that I will do it again. I used to worry a lot about this foolishness, but when it’s a choice between feeling suicidal versus a chance at some life, I can justify it. For the record, I have constantly worked with good psychiatrists and therapists for solutions.

I miss feeling like Superwoman who can do it all! I use to be the most productive at the office and now it feels as if I struggle all the time to follow the team. I’ve become the reject who can’t get it done, sometimes I wonder if it’s really worth all the trouble of side effects from the meds plus the struggling at work. Then I think back to all the very bad days I use to have, I rather be a reject now!

I miss the energy and creativity…especially the creativity. I miss being the life of the party. I definitely miss having a sex drive and weighing 127 pounds! I don’t miss the hallucinations, the suicidal thoughts, the racing thoughts that made me unintelligible when I talked to other people or the inevitable crash. And when I look at my husband and my child I know it’s not worth it and there’s no way I would give up my hard fought stability.

NO. Seeing as my ‘ups’ involve extreme irritability, and anger to the point of rage, I really don’t miss them at all (usually I’m shy and non-confrontational). Being down is a million times worse, but at least I’m completely in control of myself.

Not sure if I will be bipolar I or II once I go to a psychiatrist. Lately, I really only experience one day of productivity and then I get all antsy and angry. I am still waiting for an appointment to get meds to stabilize, but I don’t think I will miss mania at all. Right now I am so all over the spectrum that I will be happy to flatten out.

im cyclothymic and i miss the highs, i’ve been medicated about a year and except for the times when my medication needs tweeking i dont really have them any more but i remember how fun some of them were…blowing all my cash on a shopping spree…getting everything done…but then i do feel sort of bad cause of the spending…its a seesaw of emotions

I’m thankful to have found the right medicine and that I don’t have to suffer from biploar disorder anymore, but I do miss mania.

I feel very deprevived and have lost much of my creativie energy and engagement in the creative writing process. My work is not what it was and I doubt it will ever come back. I don’t think enough research or scientific thought is being put into getting those who actually do well in a hypomanic to stay well and continue their work. Despite having more than 20 years of post graduate social work experience I find the old saw horse meds don’t change artistic ability absolutely wrong. We are so behind in other medical systems such as cardiology. They know the heart so well we are just beginning and it makes me feel angry and frustrated that I have the bad luck to have this disease just as I was begginng to renew a promising life career change.There has to be a way to balance all of the metobolic factors to allow people to function at their best level without becoming flat, fat, and fall into further psychiatric trouble.

I miss the mania but unfortunately my manic episodes always precluded the arrival of severe and debilitating depression that would leave me trying to always kill myself in some new and interesting fashion. It has taken me years to get stablizied where I don’t have the severe depression and as long as I don’t have to experience that, I will just envy those that can have the manic episodes and not crash.

My god how tempting it is to tweek my meds, just to taste a little bit of what I so miss. But I know it is simply too dangerous. Yes I miss it.

I am A Rapid Cycler. Any advise? I can’t keep up.

I Am A Rapid Cycler. I Can’t Keep Up.

I am a rapid cycler, I can’t keep up. Any advise?

I really miss feeling on top of the world. I used to succeed at everything I tried, simply because of the boundless energy. I no longer have that energy. The creativity is gone. Challenge doesn’t excite me anymore. I have some friends I rely on to help keep me centered, and I’m grateful for that. I do, however, feel as if the medications I take are crushing my will to excel. Since I began to take mood stabilizers, I have trouble staying organized, staying on task and functioning at the level I used to. I pray that the push to find better drugs will soon pay off, because right now, the meds we take are like using a one pound hammer to drive a silk pin into a piece of fabric.

I have only had one depressive episode five years ago and several hypomanic episodes… stress in my life brings it on. I love it, I’m the life of the party, drinking heaps, all my senses are heightened and the sex is just so amazing. I love taking risks, being highly spontaneous and hardly sleep. Scares those around me but of course I’m oblivious to that… But when I’m more rational ‘most’ of me knows it’s not a healthy way to be - but that doesn’t stop me missing it!

I miss hypomania - it was fun having all that energy and confidence, being the life of the party, buying whatever I wanted for myself, friends and family - I was so generous and it felt good, I was creative, and on top of things and could get so much done and nothing was impossible, oh and the sex - how I miss the sex! The downside of the hypomania for me was the incredible credit card debt I accrued, and the insensitivity I sometimes had towards others because I was in too much of a rush to stop and think and take things on board. I consider myself lucky to have had 8 years between severe depressions and a number of long lasting hypomanic episodes during those 8 great years, but unfortunately it all came crashing down around me last February and I’ve been in a depression ever since - thanks to medication and therapy I am ‘doing well’ but I feel a shadow of my former self, and I’ve been left with a huge debt to deal with - that’s depressing in itself!

I like the mania, I seem to get a whole lot done. If I have a project to do, I wish I could turn the mania off and on again, depending on what I want to do>

When my mood is escalating… I can be very creative, think rapidly, and be very task focused- so I can achieve lots!
Tim, I have also wished I had a “button” to turn on some (hypo)mania so I could get things done!

But, as my mood escalates further, I have symptoms I don’t like. I can cross over into “hyperactive and irritable” territory. If I get anxious, rapid thoughts make it worse!

IT’S GREAT FOR LOSING WEIGHT…………

AND sure beat the heck out of feeling like a ZOMBIE

What I miss is the period in my life previous to being diagnosed with bi-polar, and the ups and downs were considered “life in the big city” as my Mother would put it. No I have to take a ststus check on each and every emotion. “Feel good” heaven forbid appear as if I am enjoying myself I may have skipped my meds to experiance hypomainia. Sometimes I whish I could actually feel good in life without fearing a manic eipsode.

hypomania is my way of feeling that life makes sense, and that i have a role and a purpose and that i am special in some way. why does depression need to follow? and rob that special feeling away.the meds just make life humdrum. is that what “normal” is? i guess that must be true when i look at how 90% of the people on the planet lives….

my doc says I dont want to go manic but another time the doc has complimented hypomania. The endorphins released sure do make people attracted. It’s good that you’re in control of your moods? Is there a life outside medications right now- do we have that option. Am I special or am I ill, or are bipolars martyrs! MAGICLANDDIZZY@AOL.com

I am interested to know, in your experience, what are the best strategies in preventing a bipolar individual on medication, having major mood episodes? Thanks,
Rinda

For depression do not tamper with prescribed meds and ask for the smallest dose. For mania do not do illegal drugs. Know you would be ok with life stresses like death of loved one or physical illness. If your mood is escalating and you find yourself talking to a dr or sworker about it accept their adivce 100% even if you know it’s not true just pretend it is, this should stop a manic or depressed episode.

I am BP 2 and a rapid cycler. I drink strong coffee every morning to induce hypomania on purpose. With that comes frustration and irritability. It usually works, but lateley I have been more consistently depressed. I have stopped seeing my therapist and my meetings have declined. I know I should go to the dr. and get my medication adjusted but I now they are going to increase my mood stabilizers, which turns me into a door knob. That’s where I am.

I am BP-2 - Apparently…. I stopped taking mood stabilisers after only 3/4 months because they made me feel weird and not myself and had bad side effects. I’ve been off them about 3 weeks and felt nothing at all. No depression, no hypomania. I missed hypomania, and was sort of looking forward to it. I think stress almost induces BP for me, and I havent been stressed recently, so maybe thats why. But I do miss it